Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1377
Latest Conversations: May 22

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7, 2022. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by deborah peck on June 16, 2019 at 9:43am

Dear Francis, I am so sorry that you have joined this group of grieving people but know this is a truly caring group who have a lot of good advice and always an ear to listen no matter what you post we don't judge.  I lost my 2nd husband 2 years ago and its still so hard, I still refer to our bedroom as ours, its, his dresser, his sink, and so on. You don't ever have to let go of the love you've shared Its never time to do anything you aren't ready for, I still wear my wedding rings, I still have some of his clothes in our closet, I think its all a personal decision I still go back in forth between yelling at him for not being here and telling him I knw hes at peace. I totally believe they send us signs. my 1st husband did a lot, Greg my 2nd husband not so much but I know when Im at peace hes around more, Please don't fear anything you say on here, Ive poured my heart out to whoever would listen and gotten good advice, have a good day, Debby 

Comment by deborah peck on June 16, 2019 at 8:54am

just wanted to show a few pics

Comment by deborah peck on June 16, 2019 at 8:54am

Comment by deborah peck on June 16, 2019 at 8:52am

Comment by deborah peck on June 16, 2019 at 8:52am

Comment by deborah peck on June 16, 2019 at 8:51am

I see new faces on here, I will try to get caught up as soon as possible, Just wanted to take a minute and tell you all I got back in my house on Wed. no damage to the inside thank God, but outside is a mess, still have about a foot of water in the back and Gregs pond is destroyed but it can all be repaired, it stinks to high Heaven here but I am home. , got over my back fence which is 4ft tall

Comment by Marsha H on June 15, 2019 at 3:41am

Dear Francis ...

We like you too!  It is unfortunate you have to join Legacy, but it's the most wonderful place to be and I don't think I could have made it without all the angels on here.  When one falls the others come forward to pick them up.  Any problem big or small is never to great for us.  We are family here and now you have come to join and be part of it.  I live just outside of Vancouver, British Columbia Canada so time-lines are all different which means someone either the U.S. or little old me will answer your posts.  Feel free to ask or discuss anything you like as we never pass judgement.

Frances, you don't have to let your husband go because he's in your heart and eventually you will get to the point you can smile or even laugh at the fond memories you had together.  Don't second-guess yourself and if you feel he's around you then he is.  Why do I believe this?  Because we were in deep love with our spouses and they with us and spent even one or years together and deep love such as this simply just doesn't fade away.  I will always believe my sweetie is here if I really need him.

Big hug to you


Comment by Frances C Younger on June 14, 2019 at 9:47pm

Marsha, Lisa, Sarah,     I wish we had a like button or something.  Thank you for your comments.

  I do need to let go, my logic tells me that.  I am just missing his voice, his smile, his personality so much.  I do have a logical mind.  I do know the rings were too tight, and I acknowledge that I have lost some weight.  I started to at least put my wedding ring on last night, but thought about all those possibilities Sarah mentioned.  In fact two nights before I worried they would have to be cut off.  I don't know if the signs I experience are him, but it gives me comfort to think they are.  I know he would if he could.  Marsha, you are right-too many of us have seen what seems to be communication.  The universe is a might big place, and we know so little.  Lisa, kind of like the idea of multiverse.

Comment by Sara Murphy on June 14, 2019 at 11:32am
Frances, I'm not so sure he's telling you it's time to move on. It could also be that it's now or would soon be unhealthy to have such tight rings on your finger which could affect circulation. As part of his watching over you, he found a way to get the rings off before they needed to be cut off. You could put them on a chain to wear around your neck.
Comment by Lisa Hamilton on June 14, 2019 at 7:56am’s what I wrote 6-11-19
I came across the idea of multiverse recently, and it relieved me. I didn’t know there was a term for living in more than one place at once, but I know the feeling of existing in more than one place.
This afternoon, I sit with my ailing husband, wondering if he is turning the corner yet again, or if his collection of illnesses and disabilities is finally out of hiding places.
I live again in the moment of my first husband’s funeral, 28 years ago today. I held our child tightly, whispering that DaDa loved bagpipes as I carry him down the aisle of the church to the tune of Amazing Grace.  I am living too, in the moment at the grave when his pudgy hand gave me a speckled birdie feather.
In all the time since Amazing Grace was piped again at his funeral, in every feather I’ve found in those nearly three years of just yesterday, of forever ago, of now.
I live in a multiverse as I live in my blood. My blood flows in my veins, yet it is not the blood gathering outside a cut also my blood? My son was my son when my blood flowed through both of us as much as when he lived in his own apartment as much as the day I placed his ashes in the ground, my tears staining the ground.
I am bound by time and space, and yet grief makes me aware that I live in a multiverse. Is it too much to hope, too illogical to believe that my husband and our son also live in a multiverse? A myultiverse more boundless than my own?

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