Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 10 minutes ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020.
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A friend who is a nurse in a Dallas hospital send this message to me, and I am sharing it here as my New Year's greeting for those who haven't seen it somewhere already.
Steve's surgery on New Year's Eve went smoothly, and as we left that night I said to all the nurses in the surgical department (to whom we have become familiar faces) that I wished that they be safe and well in the New year, and that, no offense, I hoped not to see them again!
Huge hopes for everyone here, for a wonderful, new year...and hello to everyone..may future days bring hope and sunshine
Happy New Year to my Legacy family. May 2021 bring everyone peace and calm!
May 2021 see the tide turn on COVID-19, and that other natural disasters take a break! Stay safe and healthy Legacy family.
Happy New Year! I've decided 2021 has to be my year of hope. So many things on my list to hope for but first and foremost is health and that's what I wish for my Legacy family.....a healthy and peaceful 2021
My New Years Eve was quiet as well. I watched the NYC ball drop on CNN with Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper.
Sending my love to you all
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL. PRAYING 2021 WILL BRING EACH AND EVERYONE OF US FREEDOM, PEACE, GOOD HEALTH AND JOY.
I KNOW THIS IS A DIFFICULT HOLIDAY FOR MANY OF YOU AND WE DO THE BEST WE CAN. I SPENT NEW YEAR'S EVE WITH MY 2 BELOVED DOGS WITH THE FIREPLACE AGLOW AND THE TREE LIGHTS ON AND JUST ENJOYED THE PEACE. I WAS AMAZED THAT THERE WERE VERY FEW FIREWORKS GOING OFF. I WAS FORTUNATE TO HAVE SOME OF MY FRIENDS PHONE ME AND WISH ME HAPPY NEW YEAR, BUT IT WAS ON THE EARLY SIDE BECAUSE NO ONE COULD STAY AWAKE! LOL
THIS IS GOING TO BE A BETTER YEAR!!!
LOVE & HUGS
Dear Deb P ... I am so sorry that you are feeling down and out, but you are not alone. We all know with this Covid it has changed so much in our lives. Everyone is anxious and if living alone (I do with my dogs) it's even lonlier so I understand how you feel. My tree is up and I turn it on and in the evening put my fireplace on and cozy up. Try to watch something decent on TV and do the best I can.
British Columbia isn't as restrictive as the U.S. I am able to go to my families for Christmas dinner (very small group and in what they call, 'my bubble.') I was so looking forward to seeing everyone and they are planning to have a family picture taken. Wouldn't you just know it though; I got the 'Green apple two step' and been rushing back and forth to the washroom and feeling terrible. No, it's not Covid. I've rested well and taken Imodium and OK during the day, but woke up this morning and had it all over again so it looks like I'll be staying home. I just sat down and bawled. I won't be with my family and have the joy of watching my great niece and nephew open their gifts. I'm still bawling my head off more out of frustration than anything. Also, (this is funny in a way) I went to get my black slacks ready to wear a couple of days ago and they don't fit! Since Covid I didn't realize I had put on some weight. I don't feel I can make it out to get new slacks so here I sit.
So my dear friend, when you feel blue on Christmas remember that this lady is also going through the same thing. So cozy up and if you can put the fireplace on and realize others are not able to be with their families. Easy to say and hard to do I know.
Love & Hugs
To all of my friends, thank you for your words of wisdom it makes me feel not alone. I pray that all these surgeries stop for Steve, that you finally get a break.. I surely hope we get a break from this Covid thing, its getting too cold here for walks except on the occasional warmer day so I am at home, I usually order groceries so don't go out for that but I too have my craft room which I love to spend time in. But my Christmas wish is Peace for everyone. love you all Deb
HI Deb....I'm sorry today has been a hard day for you.
For me it's the whole fall season that's tough beginning with Ken's birthday in Oct, then my bday in Nov, Thanksgiving , Christmas, New Year's and the anniversary of his passing in Jan. This Christmas is harder because we can't have family gatherings so I'll be staying home (although I may sneak over to my brother's for a little bit). I'm going to do the best I can to think about Christmas as just a Friday instead. We'll see how that goes.
Praying that all my friends here have a peaceful holiday
I'm sorry you are having a hard time now - you are right that many of us are feeling as you do, myself included. The constant background drumbeat of losses to Covid and the way it has forced us into isolation exacerbates my already raw nerves. This year I have started dreaming more frequently of my parents, past friends and of course, of Larry. They are not unhappy dreams, but the feelings they invoke upon waking can derail me for the day if I let them. I can't indulge myself too much because we are still dealing with more surgeries for Steve - yes, again. We are both getting worn down emotionally by this prolonged period of healing, and I am not happy that we are repeatedly having to be in situations and environments in which we may be exposed. Especially now that there is a newly arrived more contagious strain.
Steve indulges my periodic ranting about the idiocy of so much of the public who deny or ignore safety precautions, to say nothing of my strong (to put it politely) feelings about the circus surrounding the current transition into a new administration.
I personally can only calm myself by immersing myself in sewing and craft projects, even though I never seem to finish any of them and they would seem to many as ridiculously tedious and banal. Two or more hours hand-sewing the cuff of a sleeve of a doll dress could easily be thought of as "basket weaving", but it keeps me out of the kitchen. That is my other obsession - cooking. This invariably leads to eating, and I don't suggest following my example there unless you like wearing stretch pants every day - or a mumu.
All I can wish for you Deborah is that you manage to go one day at a time, and as Steve says allowing yourself to feel your grief and cry when you need to. And mostly, I want to thank you for giving me the push to post about how I'm feeling - I've been so distracted by the situation with Steve's ongoing medical issues that Hanukkah passed by without my commenting, and Christmas was in danger of doing so.
I send my love and a big hug to everyone, and will keep you updated as soon as we know the date of Steve's next surgery - the doctor suggested New Year's Eve, but hadn't checked with the hospital of his scheduler yet. Some way to ring in the new year, huh?
Merry Christmas to all, and wishing you peace of spirit and heart and health of mind and body -
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