Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7, 2022. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on January 12, 2022 at 7:20pm

Ohhh Sara,,what a lovely picture of you two! Thanks for sharing it! 

Ironically, Bob has been gone for 6 years, also, next month. 

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 12, 2022 at 7:05pm

Hi Mary Jane….Glad you're doing well.  I actually don't lose stuff often, but I have heard that happening.  The few times I have misplaced something these past few years, I have asked Ken for help.  I eventually do find it although not in a place I've already looked.  He promised he would watch over me and he always comes through.  I usually ask for help when a situation beyond my ability comes up and he sends just the right person my way. 

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 12, 2022 at 6:56pm

Hi Chuck and Steve...I'm so sorry to hear you've both been sick.  I hope you're feeling much better now.  I understand your friend being tired of Covid….we all are....but you're right to say Covid is not done with us.  It's about finding the right balance of living life and keeping ourselves and our family safe.  Maybe after some time passes, your friend will come around.  Be well my friends.

Love, Sara

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 12, 2022 at 6:52pm

Tomorrow is the 6 yr anniversary of Ken's death.  I can't even believe 6 yrs have passed.  It seems like just yesterday and an eternity all at once.  Here's a pic from our happy place....the White Mountains in New Hampshire

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 11, 2022 at 2:47pm

Hello everyone.  I am fine...but I have a question...which I wouldn,t have asked, if I hadn,t discovered a fellow neighbor, who’s wife died around the same time Bob did..has the same thing happen to him:

I LOOSE stuff all day long..simple things, a hair brush, lighter I just had, just objects. Years ago, I started asking BOB if he could FIND stuff for me...and much to my shock, and delight...he can, and DOES! All the time. IE: I will look all over for a hair clip I wear often..can’t find it I ask him where it might be? Almost SECONDS later, I find it..sitting in plane sight..where I had just looked before. When I discovered the friend did the berynsame thing..asked his departed wife...I thought maybe this happens to others too? It’s kinda cool!

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on January 10, 2022 at 7:01pm

Hi Mary Jane, and everyone - 

Steve and I are pretty well, although for slightly over a week we both felt symptoms that could have been colds, mild flu, or possible the new Covid variant Omicron, at least as those symptoms for vaccinated folks have been described. I am still feeling greatly fatigued, having some bouts of mental confusion, or "brain fog" s I've seen it called. My encephalopathy makes it nearly impossible for me to say when something is caused by that or something new affecting me.

Steve had a few bad days when I was confronting the thoughts that, not having drivers' license, I would have to either take my chances or get an Uber if, God forbid, he took a turn for the worse. Since then he has put the Uber app on my phone so I wouldn't have trouble calling for a ride should we need one.  Mary Jane, I know you also don't drive, so we, like Blanche DuBois, must rely on the kindness of strangers. 

Hope everybody is keeping as well and safe as possible, Covid fatigue notwithstanding. I've already alienated a friend upon whom Steve and I relied for rides to medical appointments over what I suspect he considers my "Chicken Little" attitude. He is , as he says, so over this all - testing, shots, the whole thing - and wants to live his life and stop being negative about it. I haven't engaged with him over his last comments, but can only repeat here what I've heard from medical experts on TV often - you may be done with Covid, but Covid isn't necessarily done with you.

Fingers crossed for there to be moments of peace, kindness, and even fun for everyone in the months ahead - we've all withstood the horrific blows of having lost our beloved spouses and should find something supportive in knowing that we all are stronger than we ever imagined. Please lets also be kind to one another .

Love, Chuck

Comment by Chicago Beard on January 10, 2022 at 3:04pm

Hi Mary Jane

I am currently doing OK. Thanks for asking. How about you?

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 10, 2022 at 3:00pm

Hello everyone. Just checking to see how everyone is doing. 

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 1, 2022 at 11:58am

Happy New Year everyone..Marsha. Thanks for the positive posts! Yes, I had a regular beer yesterday afternoon, and two strong beers last night, but they affected me VERY strongly! That’s kind of good, cuz if THAT can happen, it is time to stop. I figured I have only been consuming beer again, since August...just short of 6 months, so I KNOW I will be fine. This was a wake up call..I think my AGE is a factor in beer reacting much stronger than when I was younger.

l hope you all have an amazing year..I KNOW I will. Bye for now..enjoy this first day of our new lives and new year!

Comment by Chicago Beard on December 31, 2021 at 8:28pm

Happy New Year everyone!


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