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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1377
Latest Conversations: Nov 8

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7. 6 Replies

Universe

Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on February 15, 2022 at 10:57pm

To everyone..I hope Valentines wasn,t too stressful for you. I wish you all good days, and wonderful, loving memories. 

I was talking to a few folks in the senior park I live in...and there are SOOO many people here, who had bad marriages, and divorces..they are angry. Yes, we may have lost our loved ones..but we were blessed to have had such love. I know I was, and even tho Bob isn,t here on THIS plain, I feel soo fortunate to have had the love I DID! This  soothes me, and diminishes alot of anger and pain of loss I might experience. 

My memories make me smile, and give me comfort...I hope your do, too.

Comment by Todd B. Goodrich on February 15, 2022 at 10:28am

Hi Sara.

Thank you so much! We both are at that six year mark, but sometimes it feels like only last year. I had a peaceful yet somber day, but blessed to have another day at all! Hugs and well wishes to you dear lady!

Todd

Comment by Sara Murphy on February 14, 2022 at 8:20pm

Hi Todd.....I've been thinking about you today.  I hope you were able to have a somewhat peaceful day remembering all the beautiful times you and Claudia shared.  Take care my friend.

Love, Sara

Comment by Todd B. Goodrich on February 14, 2022 at 1:23pm

Dear Chuck.

Thank you so much my brother! It's always tough. And having wonderful friends like you, sure makes it more accepting and comforting! Praises to all you angels here! Love ya,

Todd

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 14, 2022 at 12:37pm

Wishing everyone a calm peaceful Valentine's Day - this can be a rough day for us all here. Here's hoping we all can focus on pleasant memories of ways we expressed of love for our spouses and they for us.

Love, Chuck 

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 14, 2022 at 12:34pm

Dear Todd,

Thinking of you today and hoping you have a day of peaceful reflection.

Love, Chuck

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 10, 2022 at 9:53am

Omg, that was beautiful. Thank you so very much.

Comment by Steve G. on February 10, 2022 at 9:42am

Hi Mary Jane,

It will be 8 years this coming November when I lost my Mark; for me the journey I have been on since was not what I imagined my life would become.  So many changes and adjustments that I could not have planned by myself; there had to be a power greater than myself at work.  Without this site and the input from others I do not believe that I would have been open to changes.  At the time I joined 7 months had passed and I was convinced that I was going crazy and that my life was over.  Finding a routine balance with work and taking advise from those who were willing to share their stories and struggles kept me going and eventually I found a balance that I could live with.  For me it was about changing into someone willing to bend and sway when the wind pushed itself against me; my first instinct was to stand ridged against the wind.  it got exhausting and eventually I found that it I turned around with my back against the wind it wasn't as bad.  In fact, it helped me move forward, pushing me along.  I do not know if this makes sense, but it is the best way to describe my journey.  Each of us have to find our own balance and path forward.  It is OK to be in pajamas, it is OK to cry until your head hurts and you do not have any tears left.  All of these symptoms are raw grieve and we each will heal differently.  You are always in my prayers, and you should know that you are still healing and that each one of us love and care about you Mary Jane.

Lots of hugs to you my sister in Legacy,

Steve G.

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 9, 2022 at 1:05pm

Thank you all..I have missed this comfort that I always find here.

Comment by Marsha H on February 8, 2022 at 5:36pm

My dear Mary Jane ...

A;lthough it may feel you are going backwards in your grieve by crying so much and miss Bob, I found it was coming to the end of grief and facing it head on which freed me up to reajust my own life.  Sounds strange, but for me that's what happened.  Now, I have my outbursts and cry missing Ernie, but it's far less frequest.

That post on the fridge Bob put there 'Fear Eats the Soul' is also in the Bible.  Why Bob put it there is just not a statement, but rather to stop people from allowing fear to overcome them.  I can honestly say I don't fear many things going on right now and as they say, 'Don't mess with a Senior.'  I'm proactive which helps me a lot.  I can't volunteer as usual, but I do back the truckers going to the Parliament Bldg., etc., and it appears that things will change for the better in the near future re Covid and the fear our governments put again us.  Do I stay in my T-shirt and undies when I get up and slip on my bathrobe only to stay in it all day; you bet I do off and on.  At times (live alone) I see no reason to get up early and just get moving around the house or sometimes just sit there watching TV which I call 'Stupidfied.'  Once over it and this feeling does go away and I smack the side of my face and get up and get moving.  I grocery shop every 2 - 3 days just to get out and see other human beings and I've met some nice people and the same when I take my dogs for a walk.  I guess it's the Scottish'Irish coming out of me that this old gal (now 80 as of January) isn't going down without a fight.  It's important to have faith and that we are stronger than we think.  Not a smooth journey and can get bumpy at times.  You are normal and what you are going through is like much of what the rest of us can be doing.  Hang on girl; get some fire under you and figure out which direction you want to go through in life.  Don't feel the evil of this world outweighs the goodness as there are many good people out there and some fighting for our rights.

Love ya

Marsha

 

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