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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1328
Latest Conversations: 20 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

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My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane on Sunday. 15 Replies

I used to love long week ends.

Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6. 2 Replies

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Comment by Margaret Clare Sanders on October 6, 2009 at 12:15pm
Hello to all fellow sufferers. Reading your words has helped me becasue I know that I am not alone in my grief. My darling husband passed away suddenly at home November 9 2008. He was 64 and apart from well controlled high blood pressure and diabetes, he was healthy.
I am blessed with a loving family and friends but as we all know, no-one can ever replace the loving spouse we shared our life with and that's the truth of it. I have had times when I have cried and times when I just cannot cry and I feel bad that I am maybe not showing people that I am sad and that they might think that I am 'over it"
I am trying to keep busy and that helps but coming home to an empty house is really hard. I am now starting to leave the radio on so at least there are voices. My thoughts and good wishes go out to you as we journey together.
Comment by Billie Oliver on October 3, 2009 at 6:24pm
I lost my husband June 23. We had 18 love filled years. I do not find the day to day to be the hard part, as I am busy with kids, grandkids, friends and work. Its the moments that awaken those memories of when we did certain things together.. Yesterday I closed our lake place..something Tim and I had done together for the last 9 yrs., and yesterday it was just me. I cried the whole 2 hr. drive home. Knowing the love he felt for me is here in my heart for the rest of my life and mine in his, just not together. I had not experienced such an emotionally draining day since I said my final good bye. I talk to him daily and journal as well..it helps. I find myself just writing and telling him about my day and things that happened.
My thoughts and prayers are with all who have lost their soulmates and I hope to find solace along with you..life is a journey and we still have life to live.
Comment by Helen Raulerson on September 28, 2009 at 6:09pm
My husband died from a massive brain hemmorage April 22, 2009. Needless to say my world has changed. We had been married 20 years and about the last five years he was in a wheel chair. I took total care of him and now I seem to have all this time with nothing to do. There is plenty of the routine things to be done, but all I feel is empty inside. I have plenty of support with friends and family, but my best friend is gone. I guess it has gotten a little better, but some days, like today, it is very hard to get up and put one foot in front of the other.
Comment by Craig on September 26, 2009 at 8:42pm
I COULD USE SOME HELP, my spouce and soul mate passed away in jan of 2009 im really haveing a hard time dealing with this i guess cuz there are issues involved i am dissabled and have been told by others that social security wont help its gettin bad
Comment by marilyn henderson dorris on September 26, 2009 at 1:52pm
my name is marilyn dorris. i lost my husband on july 18, 2009. he was being treated for hep c, contracted pneumonia and died very suddenly of septic shock. lately, i've been having trouble crying. i feel like i am stuck and not moving through my grief. has anybody else gone through a period like this? my life feels so incredably odd now. i think i am still in shock...i>b>
Comment by Sharon Stricklen on September 26, 2009 at 1:41am
This comment is for patsy nelson. My name is sharon stricklen and i assure you it will get better over time. My husband dies in april of this year , he actually was the third husband that i have lost and that is not easy but i am here to tell you that somehow i managed to get through it all and you will too we are here at group though to talk and share so dont be afraid to let your feelings go, it does help
Comment by CherylHarper on September 25, 2009 at 10:59am
Hi everyone - my husband of 12 years committed suicide on August 26 and people keep asking me 'why'. I wish I knew. This has left me with a huge hole in my chest and a stomach full of knots, and never ending tears.
Comment by Claudia on September 22, 2009 at 10:13am
I lost my husband of 35 years on July 17th, 2009. He was undergoing testing for kidney stones when they discovered a very very small mark at the base of his left lung. After many additional tests they decided it should be removed and the doctor made very light of the operation. The operation took 5-1/2 hrs and he ended up in intensive care for 5 weeks on a respirator. He was awake a total of 4 times and not full days. During that time a staple broke and they had to take him back in OR and operate again, this time packing the area and leaving an opening in his back. The spot was cancer but the lowest grade 1A and was only in the one spot. The doctors kept telling me to keep a positive attitude and he was going to make it but it would be a long haul. On the 17th the doctor called me to reassure me he was doing better and an hour later I got a call from the hospital telling me to come right away since he was very unstable. I could not understand and when I arrived they told me he took a turn for the worse and I had approx 15 minutes to say goodbye. He lasted a half hour and as soon as I told him I would be okay and that it was alright to go, his heart stopped beating and he was gone. We do have older children but it is still so lonely without him. We did everything together. He was the love of my life. He took care of everything and now I have to do all of this and it is so overwhelming. I just exist from day to day and some days I think life is just not worth living without him. We had so many plans of downsizing our home, retiring together and now what do I do.
Comment by Steve Cain on September 21, 2009 at 9:32pm
I would like to say welcome to all of those who have joined us here in the group. I also offer my deepest sympathies. Three months ago today I lost my soul mate. To those who are wondering will it get better, I can't say I know. I will advise you to surround yourself with family, friends and coworkers that understand you. I am fortunate in that Kris and I worked at the same place so we had the same friends and they have been very supportive
To those who are looking for other support, contact your local hospice. Many have volunteer support people that will meet with you as the one I have. They may also offer support groups. I will be starting one next week.
Finally, do not let anyone tell you how you should feel or react to anything. Your emotions are your own and they are right for you. Please keep in touch.
Comment by Yaca Attwood on September 21, 2009 at 11:43am
No one cares - my husband died on 29 June 2009, and I cannot find any support groups, or anyone who cares at all - noone, nobody nothing. So, I will just cry alone, all by myself
 

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