Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Richard Gordon Jun 1. 4 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Comment by david on September 20, 2010 at 8:05am
sorry i been missing from the board but i want everyone to know there is hope because while i am still suffering terribly i am in a better place than i was when i joined this board . i 'm a lawyer who generally believes in only what i can see and who generally trust only what i can verify and the only reason i am disclosing this information is so when i tell you i have prayed and received immediate responses
that has given be hope where before i had only depression / light where i had only darkness / you will know i am not a religious nut trying to safe the world . the only person i am trying to save is myself and the only reason i am on the board is because i realize for 1st time in my life i am a problem i cannot ever solve . i can only hope it gets better and i need all the help i can find to survive .
i feel i have guardian angels and just maybe my wife is one of them and that thought has created a lot of positive good things happining
in my life right now .. so to everyone on this board if i get better then anyone can so don't give up .
Comment by chrystal click on September 20, 2010 at 7:54am
And I did go and see the dr. she prescribed me antibioticts, anti depressents. I told her about me not sleeping. She says the antidepressents should do the trick, but I have been on them before and I really do not want to take them again..Yesterday was my youngests sons 7 th birthday, and man did that take it's toll..I hate the weekends. Im up all day and all night.I finally fell asleep last night about 2-3 am,I go as far as ib prophen pm, theystopped working..
Comment by kathleen caylor on September 19, 2010 at 4:56pm
Good for you Debbie!The more you do it,the less guilt you'll feel.I know it's hard,And it will take some courage.But each time you do something for yourself,You're building your self-esteem.Good luck.
Comment by Debbie Treadway on September 19, 2010 at 4:21pm
Connie, thanks for the words of encouragement. It really helps to know that there are others that understand how I feel. I am going to try to continue to go places and hope that these feelings of guilt start to go away. I know my husband would not want me to sit in the house for the rest of my life and feel bad so i am going to try for him. God bless you.
Comment by Debbie Treadway on September 19, 2010 at 4:14pm
Yvonne, you are not being selfish at all. I am sure that the young lady understood completely why you were not there. You have to do what you feel is best for you. I am invited to a wedding next week-end but I just don't think I can go and share in the happiness of someone else being married when my heart is broken. Don't give up on going out though, you need to be able to get out away from the house. May God bless and keep you.
Comment by Yvonne on September 19, 2010 at 1:37pm
Yesterday, the girl that worked with us when we first bought the lodge got married. That dear sweet girl worked with us for 3 seasons. She became the daughter we never had. We always joked that we had to approve of her husband and she did bring him to meet us 2 years ago. We approved!! and also warned him that if he ever hurt her that he would have to deal with us. Larry always said that he would dance at her wedding. I just couldn't bear to go. Was I being selfish? Only thinking of me? I haven't gone to any events or special times since Larry passed away. I don't want to go alone. If I do go out to dinner with family etc. I always feel like the 5th wheel. I miss him so much.
Comment by Connie on September 19, 2010 at 1:31pm
Chrystal, See your doctor asap. You cannot function on three hours sleep. I was not able to sleep after my husband passed and my doctor gave me something to help me sleep. It took a while but it has finally worked and for the most part, I do get a good nights sleep. My doctor says it is absolutely critical that you get your sleep. Sleeping takes care of the nights. Then you just have the days to deal with. It is not easy. In fact, it is very difficult. Some days will be better than others but you will have those "bad days." I will remember you in my prayers but please see your doctor so that he can help you get some sleep.
Comment by Connie on September 19, 2010 at 1:27pm
Debbie, I hope you can overcome the feeling of guilt. You cannot stay in the house 24/7 just so that you won't have fun doing something. It will never be the same "fun" as when you did these things together but that is something we just cannot change. All I can say is do your best to make an effort to get out and if you have some fun, that is just the price we pay. Good luck and God Bless You.
Comment by Virginia on September 19, 2010 at 1:17pm
Tina, I'm glad your back, are you all settled in, lol I know that takes awhile. I'm happy for your parents but I understand your feelings, this is not a very pleasent thing we have to live with. I pray we will all find a little bit of happyness sometime. welcome back, hugs
Comment by TINA GREER on September 19, 2010 at 1:05pm
Finally got my internet back... I really missed this site! I need the support so badly. It seems like my life is just full of sadness and tears all of the time. We just had a surprise anniversary party for my parents 50th anniversary last night. It was very emotional for me. I missed Larry being there to share it with me... I hate the fact that I will never have another anniversary!!! I tried hard not to let my parents see my tears, because I did not want to ruin their night. This pain in my heart is more than I can bear sometimes. How can I ever be happy again without him? I go on with daily 'life', but there is no joy in it, only pain and sadness........

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