Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Latest Conversations: Jan 17

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7, 2022. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 1, 2022 at 1:00pm

Dear Mary Jane,

Well, if you are losing it, then you have plenty of company here. While the sensation you describe is slightly different than what I experience, I definitely am aware of being reminded of Larry and his presence, or essence, somehow still in my life. 

I recently turned 68, and in the days leading up to my birthday several things brought this feeling to the forefront. I've always heard of pennies being sent as a signal or message from our loved ones, but never personally had much experience with them. Larry was always acutely aware of pennies he would find on the ground,  paying attention their year or what side was up. A few weeks ago I found myself looking down to find brand new pennies at my feet - at a check out, in a parking lot, and on a sidewalk.  All three within days of each other, and every time I was flooded with the feeling of Larry being nearby and trying to sooth me of any negative feelings about getting older. 

I've been dreaming a lot lately of people and places from long ago in my life - I awake with feelings of longing, sometimes regret, and an intense desire to know how those people are now. I don't act on this - no facebook for this one thank you. I do wonder if somehow this is all connected to the plans Steve and I are making to relocate within the year. 

So Mary Jane, I for one feel Larry is still here with me, however you define "here". It's both comforting and thought provoking - my feelings about life and afterlife are complicated to put it mildly. Don't worry too much about your sanity my friend - if you watch 5 minutes of news these days one quickly realizes that "sanity' and "normal" have become terms with flexible definitions anymore. *sigh*

Stay well, and welcome your communications with Bob, because they are happening for a reason, even if we can't be sure what that reason is.

Love, Chuck   

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 31, 2022 at 10:46pm

 To “loose it” Hello,everyone...I FINALLY figured out how to get here on my IPAD...this is huge. 

I want to ask y’ Feb, it will be the beginning of the 7th year since Bob died. Soo.6 full years have passed at the end of that month...and I am much better..than I was...but lately, a strange thing has been happening. I will be doing something “mundane” like making the bed..etc..and I will hear a “suggestion” in my if Bob is talking to I fluff the pillow, my brain begins TALKING to him..stuff like “is this fluffy enough” or, “should I put the pillow down so u can rest your head on it.” Or  (from HIM,“maybe you should move over a bit..u r kind of crowding the bed”..STUFF LIKE THAT. Am I loosing my mind? This is a VERY new development..maybe because I have lived in this new home for almost 3 years, and he is finally HERE? 

Omg, as I type this, I can feel him SMILING at me! As if he finds this very humorous. OMG, I am not ready to LOOSE IT yet.

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 14, 2022 at 8:35pm

Thanks everyone.  Jan 13th will always be a day which marks the passage of time.  On the 1 yr anniversary I took the day off from work and vowed I would take every Jan 13th off to reflect and honor Ken.  I did take the day off the 2nd year as well but by the 3rd year, I decided I needed to treat the day like any other.  I miss him on the 12th and 14th (and every other day) as much as the 13th so it's best if I work and make the day as "normal" as possible.  It also happens to be a busy time at work so it's not good for me to take a day.  That's what I did and then made one of Ken's favorite meals for dinner. 

Todd....Claudia was beautiful.  You're a lucky man to have her watching over you.  I'll be thinking about you on Feb 14.

Mary can attach your pic by clicking either the image or file icon.  Look forward to seeing it.

Sending hugs your way


Comment by Mary. Jane on January 14, 2022 at 12:52am

Ok I have a picture, I just have to figure out how to post it here.

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 13, 2022 at 8:58pm

I am going to ask my daughter,if she has any pictures of Bob and I as a couple. I didn,t have a digital camera or cell phone until after he died..and all our pictures are still packed away. I just haven’t had the mental strength to,open any of those boxes yet..but I MUST have some, maybe on a disc...I will start a search. 

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 13, 2022 at 8:53pm

What the hell happened in Feb 2016? This is REALLY strange! 

Comment by Todd B. Goodrich on January 13, 2022 at 4:51pm

Dear Sara & Mary. Jane,

I am right there with you. This upcoming Valentine's Day will also be the sixth year anniversary of Claudia's passing. Holy cow! 

My prayers and love to you both! Hugs as well :-)

We are here for you both!



P.S. Awesome picture! 

Here is one of my favorites.... 

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on January 13, 2022 at 3:14pm

Dear Sara,

As today brings to you afresh the memories of your life with your beloved Ken, and time plays its bizarre tricks of making the past present, I know Ken is staying close and loving you as he always will. He'll see you through today, and tomorrow, and all the days until you are reunited. 

Peace to you dear friend - 

Love, Chuck

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 12, 2022 at 7:20pm

Ohhh Sara,,what a lovely picture of you two! Thanks for sharing it! 

Ironically, Bob has been gone for 6 years, also, next month. 

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 12, 2022 at 7:05pm

Hi Mary Jane….Glad you're doing well.  I actually don't lose stuff often, but I have heard that happening.  The few times I have misplaced something these past few years, I have asked Ken for help.  I eventually do find it although not in a place I've already looked.  He promised he would watch over me and he always comes through.  I usually ask for help when a situation beyond my ability comes up and he sends just the right person my way. 


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