Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

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Comment by Helen Carll on January 1, 2010 at 1:23pm
Last new year's Eve we went out to the Elks Club for dinner and dancing with my husband's son and his girl friend. It was not the most fun night as his son left early and we actually left just before midnight. The highlight of the night was when my husband asked me to dance. Due to his pulmonary problems he needed oxygen constantly which he pulled along with him, but it was a beautiful dance which did not last too long. It is not getting easier and it is almost 7 months. I am just existing and waiting for the time when I will be with my husband again. I have no life without him. His family except one son called Christmas have forgotten me which I knew they would. His grandchildren never remembered me. My family is trying but it is hard for them too. I am not looking forward to anything in my life. The few friends we had have also forgotten us. My siblingwho live in other states do not keep in touch. That is sad story in itself. Will tell that another time. Miss you my husband your kiss and embrace. I am so lonely.
Comment by Donita Jo Scott on December 31, 2009 at 6:42pm
How Quickly Everyone husband passed away only 4 weeks ago on December 2nd. It was only us...none of our friends or family live near us. We just took care of each other. Only being in our 40's we never expected this. The first couple of calls every day from folks, and me calling to take of matters. one. I have went 3 days with not one person to call me to see how I am...knowing that I am all alone. I am disabled, in a wheelchair and have no means of getting out at all. Why does it seem that everyone forgets? I feel like no one cared about my husband Bryan, or me. It hurts to feel that, I know...I'm tired of people telling me it will get easier...I'm tired of beibg told they know how I feel...and I am sick and tired of being told to "Look up and smile because he's better off". Dammit...I want him here with me...maybe thats know what...I DON'T CARE!!! We had no children, and no one around here. {we moved here because of our health...and we hated the drama of where we lived b4}. I can't stand the silence...of not being able to talk to someone that could finish my words...that laughed with me over the stupid things. I feel like I'm drifting out in the middle and no one will ever help find me.
Comment by BoLynn on December 31, 2009 at 1:24am
Today was the 4th month since I lost my love. I spent the day reliving that day 4 long months ago. Although it seems like years, not months, I remember it all as if it was yesterday. I remember spending the night at hospice with him and listening to his labored breathing all night. 8 in the morning, my sister came to bring me home for a quick bath and change of clothes. The hospice is 5 minutes from my home. When I got back to his room, his mother and other family members were there. I kissed him and held his hand. His hand was ice cold. Why didn't it register to me that it was a sign that he was dying? I just thought the fan was on to high and he was cold, so I turned the fan off. My sister insisted that I go to the dinning room and have some late breakfast. His mother was by his side so I went to get a quick bite to eat. My other sister that stayed in his room came bursting through the dinning room door to tell me to hurry back to the room, because he took his last breath. I ran back crying and I held his hand and kissed him thinking he had died without me being there. As I held him, he took 3 short breaths and went to heaven. He waited for me. Thank you darling. It was 12:30 p.m. on a Sunday, August 30, 2009.
Comment by Christine on December 29, 2009 at 6:02am
When ever its around the corner one can not fail think of those who are most closest to him/her. This year round it happened. My dear one had just made a year since he passed on. I was so sad but we believe that he is with us in spirit. I am sad and i have lost sleep now days. I am getting with drawn again. I hope i get myself back. I wish you all a happy new year. Let all keep i n prayer. We will get our comfort from our Creator above.
Comment by Ann on December 29, 2009 at 1:08am
Comment by Ann: Chrsitmas was very hard without the love of our lives, my husband of 51 years passed away 9 months ago and there were many days I couldn't have made it through without God's help. Both my children were here and some other family members but I shed more tears through the holidays than I did surrounding the time of the funeral. I'm trying to be strong for the rest of the family who is hurting too, but it's like our rock we leaned on so many years just isn't there anymore. I lean on Jesus, his love and mercy so why does it hurt so much?
Comment by Helen Raulerson on December 28, 2009 at 4:53pm
I've had a really hard time this Christmas. My sweetheart died April 22. The 22nd of Dec. would have been our anniversary (20 Years). I feel like I have had the double whammy this past year. My husband died April 22, 2009 and my son died Nov. 5, 2009. I made it through Thanksgiving OK, but Christmas was really tough. I knew it would be, but I guess I just needed to talk.
Comment by Helen Carll on December 28, 2009 at 8:06am
My husband, Jim, died about 6 months ago and each holiday brings back memories of the wonderful times we shared. However, being alone now is very sad and lonely and I dread the one coming up the most New Years Eve. Last year we went out to the Elks Club and even though it was hard for him, we danced one dance = not knowing it would be our last dance together.
Comment by Marlena on December 27, 2009 at 9:24pm
Here's a video my niece made in memory of her Uncle Bunzy. I had to share it with everyone. It is so awesome...what a great present she gave me. Have your speakers on when you watch. Thanks for looking.

Marlena (and Tom)
Always and Forever
Comment by kathleen caylor on December 25, 2009 at 2:02pm
Just got back from the cemetary.For all of my tough talk ,I cried like a baby!When people ask "what did you get for Christmas?"I can honestly reply,a tombstone!It arrived Dec.24th.I made my kids think everything was fine,but it's not!I came back and mowed grass.Now what?I still have the rest of my life to face without my husband.He's been there since I was 14,I'm now 60 and I thought the easy years would be ahead of us.Now there is no us.I should just shut up,I heard much worse stories,I'm just feeling sorry for myself!!Sorry guys.I had to vent!!Merry Christmas!
Comment by Pam on December 25, 2009 at 9:34am
At 9:29am on December 25th, 2009, Pam said…
My husband, Paul, of 29 years passed away in April, 2009. This is my first Christmas without him. I have been dreading this day for a long time and then something unexpected happened - we had 14" of snow and the family is not able to get together today. I am so happy. I know that sounds a little weird, but it was just more than I thought I could take to have the family dinner and open presents just like normal, because it will never be the normal again. Maybe by next year I will be ready for my new normal. I feel like I was given a gift today. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone who is, like me, experiencing our first Holidays/Birthdays/Special Days without our loved one.

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