Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Latest Conversations: Aug 21

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

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Comment by Sue Darby on December 16, 2009 at 4:46pm
I lost my Tom to metastatic prostate cancer on June 26, 2998. He was 63 years, still working full time, rode a Harley (we both did) and had a vital interest in everything around him. As I approach my second Christmas w/out him I find I am grieving more now than when he first passed away. I guess now that I have taken care of all the finances etc. life is settling down. I feel more lonely now than ever. I have a very supportive family but their's is a different kind of grief. I have lost someone I have been with since I was 15. We were married 42 1/2 years. I would love to correspond w/people who know the feelings I have and am experiencing.
Comment by Cynthia on December 15, 2009 at 8:26pm
I am new to this group but thought I would see if someone at least understands where I am coming from. It will be a year on Friday since I suddenly lost my best friend, boyfriend of 18 months. The first two months were like I was in a fog and his family had been very supportive. Then all that changed and no one in his family speaks to me anymore. One of his sister in laws said it was because he did not talk about me (he was a private person) and they did not know me. Someone told me I was "just the girlfriend" I understand grief as I lost my mom and older brother 4yrs ago but how does one do this alone? Any comments would be helpful.
Comment by Anita Simmons on December 15, 2009 at 4:39pm
At 4:35pm on December 15th, 2009, Anita Simmons said…
How is everyone? I feel like I am losing my mind. Every emotion in the world is coming out and I have no idea how to control them. Dec. 9 my fiance and I were going to be leaving Florida and drive to Texas to spend our Christmas together with close family and friends and the little boy we sacrificed 4yrs of our life to protect. Our christmas were rough throughout the yrs and this Christmas was special. It is killing me to be sitting at home without him. The lonliness consumes me, the heatache sufficates me and going on isn't a desire anymore. I hate my life, I hate that he is gone and that I am all alone. How do you let go of the "should haves", "could haves" or "would haves"? Delete Comment
Comment by samantha on December 15, 2009 at 6:35am
Hi everyone, uhm im not sure where i should start. I lost my fiance last january and its almost been a year and i still feel like im stuck in the same hole i was the day everything happened. I feel like its still yesterday that i lost him and i dont know where to turn to or who to turn far its 7:30 in the morning and i have not been to sleep for about two days now.... and i stumbled on this site in mid cry looking for somewhere to turn to.. anywhere... so, if anyone wants to chat im here..
Comment by sadderthansad on December 14, 2009 at 1:15pm

I am new here too. I lost my husband in November and think I need to be acquainted with others that get it. I am all over the place. I am here if anyone wants to chat. I am in my late 30's
Comment by Charles on December 14, 2009 at 11:55am
Hi Sharon
Like you I feel out of control.I do ok for a few hours then it hits me with full force that she is not here and will not be here.My kness go weak, I cry and that sick feeling hits me.Most of us here are new to this.I know people say it gets better with time but I am not so sure.I kiss her pictures, I go outside and touch her flowers, anything I can think of to make contact with her.I love that lady with every fiber of my being.Do you just get a balloon and blow it up and let it go?I need to do something
Comment by Sharon Stricklen on December 14, 2009 at 7:34am
Hello all, the seasons are here and it is really gonna be rough this year without my husband here, but I will try to be strong.I have been doing rather well but this last week it has hit me again, almost 9 months and it all came rushing back to me like it was yesterday. I suppose that these are normal feelings but sometimes I feel so not in control of them so I usually find something to do to keep my mind going in another direction. I will however send up another balloon to him for Christmas and that makes me feel a lot better. Maybe you all could try to do that
Comment by Donita Jo Scott on December 12, 2009 at 3:59pm
I can't believe I just lost my best friend and love of my life....My husband just passed away December 2. It was so sudden, I don't know if it has sunk in yet. He went into the hospital 2 months ago, and we learned a week later that he was dying from complications from Crohn's. Both his liver and kidneys were shutting down...He came home, and after only 9 days he passed away. I just found this it's my first post. I really need to share and be with others who know what I'm going through. It's so hard...he was so young, just 45. We never had children and sll of our family lives out of here I am-all alone to go on.....
Comment by heartbrokenintexas on December 12, 2009 at 1:54am
I just found this site. My husband died suddenly & unexpectantly on 9/10/06. (he was 54). We were married 24 yrs. He was my best friend, soul mate & love of my life.
You have to take it step by step, one minute at a time. The grief changes , but it's till there. My son just died(11/8/09, he was 23) also suddenly & unexpectantly. As of today , from causes unknown. My son's death brings back all the pain & grief.
I dislike the Thanksgiving & Christmas holiday. ( my dad died on Christmas eve & my mom & I spent Christmas @ the funeral home).
Things remind me of the ones who have gone. Crying comes when you least expect it.
Comment by Brigitte on December 11, 2009 at 2:59pm
I am finding this Christmas to be very difficult. How does one get past the decorations, the music, the smells of Christmas without thinking of our loved one? Douglas died in July 2009 and I thought I was out of tears -- guess not! I wish all of you a blessed season. We need to take care of ourselves and hold on to the wonderful memories we have of our loved one. They are watching us -- and loving us from afar!

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