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Comment by Brigitte on December 11, 2009 at 2:59pm

I am finding this Christmas to be very difficult. How does one get past the decorations, the music, the smells of Christmas without thinking of our loved one? Douglas died in July 2009 and I thought I was out of tears -- guess not! I wish all of you a blessed season. We need to take care of ourselves and hold on to the wonderful memories we have of our loved one. They are watching us -- and loving us from afar!

Comment by Jan on December 10, 2009 at 11:25pm

Just found this site accidentally and its my 1st time here. My husband passed away in May. I thought I was doing ok, until the holidays closed in. Now it just seems as though I am screaming inside each day with pain. How is everyone else handling the holidays?

Comment by Cindi on December 8, 2009 at 9:21pm

I lost my husband on 11/16. It is a very difficult time for me. Words cannot describe my feelings. It was a sudden loss, one that I was not prepared for. My husband was my world.

Comment by sheryll on December 7, 2009 at 1:55pm

Charles I knw how you feel. I too was married for almost 23 years ,my wonderful husand died in June of this year,he traveled alot in his work and I kept thinking he would be home soon.I would have such a feeling of depair and panic when I would realise he would never be coming back again,and I would never hear his voice when the phone would ring. Six months is almost here and some days are a little easier, but the pain is still there and I just want the Holidays to get over with,I know that I will never stop missing Dan , but I have had days where I do laugh because of friends and family. This site has given me great comfort.Hang in there It may not seem like it but things do get a little easier as time goes by.I alwasy feel like Dan is with me always in my heart, and I talk to him every day as strange as sounds , but it helps me get through the day .

Comment by Charles on December 7, 2009 at 11:55am

I see so many of us so broken hearted here.Its been nine weeks now since I lost my beloved and I think its getting harder each day for me.There is so much I want to ask her, so much I want to say to her.When I realize I will never see her in this life again I just lose all control.My knees go weak, I get that sick feeling.I do get some comfort reading how other people cope with their loss.I would never have believed you could miss and hurt for someone this much.We had a great life, great marriage and I miss that so much.Its just so hard to believe that she is gone, she is not coming back and I have to go on in this life without her.I try to be thankful that we did have 23 wonderful years but Im so selfish.I want 23 more years with her.I miss her so much.

Comment by judy on December 7, 2009 at 8:54am

when my husband,rich passed away on 2-10-09 that was the beginning of the end for me.he had 4 married brothers and 1 sister. i have not seen, spoken to or got a call from any of them since the funeral on 2-13-09. we wre married for 37 yrs. and i thought every thing was fine between all of us. we had many visits from them and they all came to visit when rich went into hospice. i have no other family, they kept saying we are here for you we are family,what went wrong? i honestly dont know.what would cause them to shun me?if i didnt have my son, i dont know what i would do.rich was stage 4 when we found out it was cancer, i loved him with all my heart and soul, and i was devestated. he survived 14 mos. ,his family was there all the way,little did i know they would desert me!the aloneness is almost unbearable. i dont know what to do.

Comment by Renona Guyton on December 7, 2009 at 2:30am

I have been looking for a site like this one since I lost my beloved husband. It is a tough life without the joy of my life. I am glad that I can blog with some people who can sympathize with my pain and hardships. I only had him for five years but we had so much fun packed into that little bit of time. I feel like the breathe has been knocked out of me and time is not making it any better. I lost him on February 14th of this year and everyday that goes by I miss his more and more. The holidays are tough and waking up every morning I hope to see him lying next to me. I sit and hope each day that he would walk through the front door and greet me with his loving smile. All I can say to myself is how much I miss him, need him and love him. My sadness is overwhelming but I didn't want to join some group of people I would much rather sit in my rooom and type. As I was reading though this thread I could see the all of you are going though what I am and I can relate to where you all are at this point in our lives. I just hope that we can get some support from one another.

Comment by Charles on December 4, 2009 at 10:02am

Dear Mary Leaver, Thank you for your wonderful understanding words.Truthfully I think we all believe our loss, pain, greiving is greater than others but in reality we know others are just as pained.I can see you understand how the very life is sucked out of you, your knees buckle just thinking about it.My love and I had 23 wonderful years but at this time all I can think of is the last 31 days of her life.She was so sorry to be sick.She apologized over and over for having to leave me.She wanted me to go on and have a happy life until she and I met again in heaven .One of her last things to say was Im going to be heaven watching you..I think a lot of us here want to go forward but our grief just overtakes us.When you took your wedding rings off what were you thinking at that time?Can we ever look at a person of the opposit sex without thinking we are being unfaithful.I know life goes on, my love and I talked about that all the time because we talked about every thing.Xmas day, new years is coming, I know I will wake up without her by my side but I think I would rather die than go through that pain.I see you made it, I see many others made it and I will make it also.I just think a lot of us new ones here want to know that we can some day think about that love with joy and some happiness.

Comment by Jeanette Kilpatrick on December 4, 2009 at 8:43am

Don't worry about going to the cemetery. He is not there, he has gone on to heaven. I went on Thanksgiving and it did not depress me. I, like you, did not even want to live in the beginning but I am finding relief in helping others. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you will do the same for me. Jeanette Kilpatrick

Comment by shannon napier on December 4, 2009 at 8:10am

I lost my husband on october 6th, 2009 in a tragic car accident. He was 35 and we have 4 gorgeous children. I just found this web site and i am so thankful to read all these comments. I feel like no one really understands what you go thru. I have so many emotions I go through it makes me feel crazy sometimes. If it werent for the kids I think I would be worse off. I am strong and i know that. My oldest daughter has a severe heart condition and i had to be strong for 14 years for her so this is just another trial I have to go through. My husband Phil was everything to me, the only income, he worked as a dump truck driver and worked 13 hours a day whiel I was a stay at home mom. That day he went to be with the LORD he fell asleep at the wheel a mile or so from home and hit a couple head on. I thank GOD they were not injured. Phil was alive for 15 minutes and the women he hit was there to hold his hand and talk to him . I believe she was his angel. He told her to keep praying and dont stop. Talked about his wife and kids and wanted out. He was pinned in his truck, the whole inside engine and all was shoved up into him. An hour later after he passed they finally got him out. That was the worst day of my life. Sometimes I feeel like its still not real. I will hear a truck coming down the road and think its him. All our friends and family would pick at him about how much he loved me and the kids. He always had to touch me whether it be my arm or hair or hands he had to touch me. He loved me more than I have ever been loved by anyone before. The last few months of his life he really got passionate about the bible and always was so excited to preach it to his family when we got together. HE was learining hebrew letters and there meaning to the bible. He was takin at the peak of his faith. I dont undertand this I will one day but for now there are so many questions. I feel like his work here was not done he had so much to take care of. HE almost died once before from a rare infection called Lamers and then he got ards back when he was 26 he was on the the door step of death adn GOD brought him through it after 3 weeks in a coma. Why was he then takin by this horrible accident? I am so confused. I do have hope of the future and I do have a pastor who is there for me so i can say I have lots of help but its not the same as help from those who have been there.. Thank you all for this web site and sharing your stories.

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