Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

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Comment by Chicago Beard on April 12, 2020 at 2:29pm

Mary Jane

From your lips...

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 11, 2020 at 6:07pm

Wow! It looks just like the fields of tulips in Amsterdam...beautiful.

There is a small town around the SF Bay Area, called Pescadero..along the coast near SF.My best friend for 56 years, grew up there..we used to drive up the coast just to view the fields of flowers they grew there. . Just spectacular. I hope after all this thing goes away..and it will..I sort of feel hopeful..people stop urban growth, and greed, and justnlet beauty stay where it should be.

Comment by Chicago Beard on April 11, 2020 at 3:08pm

Mary Jane

Believe it or not, that is in the state of Washington. At least according to Microsoft.

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 11, 2020 at 2:49pm

Beautiful! Thank you, CB! 

Is that in Amsterdam?

Comment by Chicago Beard on April 11, 2020 at 2:47pm

Something to brighten everyone's day. Inspired by Steve G's post.

See the source image

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 11, 2020 at 11:43am

Thank you for the picture of those lovely Spring flowers!

Ya has occurred to me, since this time of year is so Important  to so many faiths, that maybe this virus is  meant to bring all of us together sort be kinder  and more tolerant of everyone. A sort of wake up call from the universe, that no matter what our differences are, we are all human, and maybe it will end as quickly as it came?

Comment by Steve G. on April 11, 2020 at 6:56am

Comment by Steve G. on April 11, 2020 at 6:55am

Good for you Mary Jane and I mean this with all sincerity.

It is a wonderful feeling when we can shed off some our fears and move forward.

I still get scared and sometimes wonder about the future in our current situation.  Life goes on and we learn to adapt.  Right now, I can look out at the birds feeding in the back yard and notice the beauty of nature.  We have some irises blooming in deep blue purple and white.

You are going to be fine, love and hugs always,


Comment by Mary. Jane on April 10, 2020 at 11:47pm

Something happened today..that pretty much stunned me. I will try to set this up..the last week.. 1.I have been searching for my collection of glass prisms..i wanted RAINBOWS on my walls..I had NO IDEA where they might be, and didn,t want to start looking in big boxes, etc, so I ordered more online..2. I found a white gold heart necklace  Bob gave me years ago..I wore it one day, but the next day the chain I have been searching online for a new chain..but that is difficult, as to the weigh,strength etc..but I spent HOURS trying anyway..3. I realized I didn’t have an extra pair of eyeglasses..cannot go to get badly needed new ones, if mine broke, I am screwed..these things were weighing on my mind..and I REALLY wanted to wear the HEART..and didn’t have a damn chain..I was obsessed...couldn't understand WHY I didn’t have any type of chain. Didn,t I EVER have chains for pendants? This went on about 2 days..unrelated this afternoon, thinking of where a CHAIN might be..I looked in the TWO small matching cardboard boxes I never unpacked since I moved here.....and randomly picked ONE to open.

I CRIED when I saw what was inside.  Forgotten jewelry, at least R different chains,  ALL MY PRISMS, and An extra pair of eyeglasses, everything I had needed or wanted was in that small box including some of Bobs stuff..a gold ring..his favorite bracelet, HIS chains..I couldn,t believe it!  What were the chances? That would have been the LAST boxI would have searched for ANY of that random stuff..yet, there it was. All of it, together. I KNOW it was Bob. Oddly, I felt so much ENERGY today..and I wan,t afraid of the COVID19 today...for the first time, I felt like this will be ok. It was as if Bob was telling me not to worry. IT HAS BEEN SO VERY LONG SINCE I HAVE FELT HIM WITH ME. I-need To get off my fearful a$$ and LIVE, cuz we are going to be ok.

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on April 10, 2020 at 7:44pm

Hi Deborah,

Thank you for the kind sentiments  - today I finally got to read the online obituary posted on the website of the funeral home handling Betty Ann's arrangements. I don't know who actually wrote it, or if all the adult children and her surviving brother collaborated on what to include, but it made me very upset. After listing her birthplace and education, it appears she miraculously had 5 beautiful children to whom she was a devoted and loving mother. It listed her interests, hobbies, and involvement with her church. I don't know what the proper protocol is for situations of divorced spouses, but it seemed like Larry was just completely erased from her life, although his sister was listed as a loving sister-in-law among survivors. 

To address what your feelings are this Easter and during this distancing, I am completely relating to what you say and think I may be either depressed or just getting more loopy than my usual state. Every mention of Easter or TV discussions bout testing, the economy, and "the new normal" make me simultaneously angry and very very sad. I find myself voicing sentiments of hopelessness and negativity that I am sure make Steve upset , but I can't seem to stop myself. So indeed Deborah you are not alone this weekend in your feelings, and I hope and pray that just knowing we can come here and express ourselves helps not only us but others. 

I too wish everyone stays safe and well, and send love and hugs to all - 

Love, Chuck

PS - say a little prayer for Steve for putting up with me...


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