Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1377
Latest Conversations: Aug 4

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on August 19, 2020 at 7:02pm

Hi everyone. Happy to,see everyone is in hopeful spirits. For myself. Everything is just WEIRD. I am trying to be positive..the good thing..lately I have been having “little flashbacks “ of things Bob would say, things we did..memories of tiny incidents I had completely forgotten..yes, my memory has been ROARING back..but each one is both wonderful, and heart wrenching at the same time..

If you’ve seen the news, you might have heard..more wildfires in California this past week. and now...the entire STATE has SOOO daughter is here, mandatory evacuation, but her hubby is still at home..with the cat..she is miserable..he is ok so far..We are just waiting to be where we don,t know..we are packed and ready at a moments notice..and I am ramBling.

HAD A WONDERFUL experience about 2 weeks ago..MARSHA and I talked n the phone! It was soooo cool! We were never at a loss for words, talked for a bit over an hour! She is  fun, smart and was awesome.

Bye for now..stay safe and happy.

Comment by Sara Murphy on August 19, 2020 at 4:10pm

Hi All, 

I'm glad to see everyone is doing well or at least, as well as can be expected.  I too am healthy and doing what I can to stay that way mention a possibility that the recent silence could be due to some of us being afraid to say how we are feeling for fear of offending others.  I hope that's not the case.  Some of us may feel one way about this national situation while others feel another way but I would hope we'd all respect each other's point of view.  I can only speak for myself but while I may not agree with another person's opinion, I always respect it and take the "agree to disagree" stance.  Please feel free to come here to vent anytime.   The frustration of what's happening around us is felt by me for sure.  In fact, I take the weekend off from watching the news because I need that break.

Hang in there everyone.

Love, Sara

Comment by Chicago Beard on August 18, 2020 at 1:56pm

Hi everyone

Just checking in. As far as Covid goes I am doing well, thank goodness. Steve, I understand your frustration when your movement is limited it can tend to make depression worse. Hang in there. 

Comment by Steve G. on August 18, 2020 at 8:26am

Every day is full of challenges, my grief continues, my level of depression is on a roller coaster.  I have been fighting depression for most of my life and I stay on my meds daily, thrown into a pandemic has added a new newness for me.  I let it out, I cry a lot, some days I am peaceful; if it wasn't for Chuck in my life I do not know how my life would be.  We openly talk to each other and that helps more than anyone can understand.

We stay busy at home, we talk or text to friends and sometimes we use Zoom to see them.  We only go out to pick up groceries that we order online, or for necessary Dr. appointments...etc.

This too shall pass is my go to phrase to remind me that life is full of joy, sad times, bad times and each new day is a blessing...if we take time to look for it.

Love and hugs to all

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on August 18, 2020 at 7:53am

Hello everyone,

Once again it has been quiet here, and I sincerely hope that isn't an indication of family having any health problems  - and you are my legacy family. 

Welcome Dr. Gayle, and I do agree with your comments, but my feelings of anger and frustration may also be tied to the current silence in this site. Here we all are, struggling through this global pandemic and it's effects medically, socially, and financially. Simultaneously here in the US we are in a political campaign for president that is being conducted within the new constraints and safety considerations necessitated by this crisis. 

This site is for us to share our grief and healing with each other, to offer support and comfort, and especially hope to all members new and long time. We have always been respectful of the requests to avoid straying too far from that goal, and mostly only speak of religion and financial matters as they relate to our losses of our spouses. That said, none of us exist in a vacuum, and our individual views and feelings regarding politics and religion are inexorably intertwined with our reactions to current events and public figures. 

I suspect the silence is partly due to the fact that some of us dare not write what we are truly feeling at this point in time for fear of offending or beginning arguments. Personally speaking, that is where much of my own anger stems from - a lack of ability to vent my frustrations and criticisms arising from the very real situations happening all around us on a daily basis.

I too wish for a day when it will all be over, but in my heart I believe we must accept and prepare mentally for a very challenging reality - it may never be "over" as we wish, and a return to "normal" is likely not in the cards. We need to be strong and adult and assume the responsibility of facing life as it is now, putting the health and welfare of others as much in our daily actions as we are concerned for our own.

Wishing everyone some peace of mind, a spark of hope, and at least one good laugh each day...something we can all use.

Love, Chuck

Comment by Mary. Jane on August 17, 2020 at 9:57pm

Hello Dr Gayle...yes, I agree with you..but we’re ARE limited to what we are able to,DO with our free time...welcome, and feel free to introduce yourself. 

Comment by Dr Gayle K on August 17, 2020 at 7:53pm

finally we all have a month of Sundays and are sick of it!  I see a lot of frustration and anger any more... will be glad when it is all over.

Comment by deborah peck on July 17, 2020 at 2:17pm

Glad to hear everyone is doing good with our new normal, I live in st Charles Mo. they are talking about doing face mask mandatory here, which is good, I use them anyway. Have been busy watching my 6 year old grandson all summer so his mom can work from home, its been interesting finding things to do while not going to public indoor places, now six flags or zoo. I don't feel its safe and I am not wearing a mask in 100 degree heat so better to hike and swim in the river. everyone continue to be safe

Comment by Steve G. on July 17, 2020 at 7:11am

Hi all,

So far so good for me and Chuck here in TX.  We live in Arlington, which is half way between Ft Worth and Dallas.

Cases continue to rise along with the deaths, so far Houston, San Antonio, corpus Christi are overwhelmed and have refrigerated trucks to take in the loss of life.

We stay home, we wear our masks when out to pickup the groceries we can order online or for Dr. Appointments.

Watch a lot of movies, doing inside projects and we talk to each other.  We both continue to be thankful for each day and for each other.  

I do very little outside these days due to the heat index and triple digit days, plus it just wears me out.  There will be time for my outside projects another day.

Good to hear from the family, I too pray for us all and always happy to hear from you.

Sending all many hugs



Comment by Marsha H on July 17, 2020 at 4:31am

Hi all my American angels ...  Just popping in to 'see what condition your condition is in.'  I am not making light of your situation because we are family and I keep up with the news to see how things are going in different States.  I pray for all of you each night.  

It boggles my mind that so many States are having more deaths by COVID while other States are slowing down in this area.  

In Vancouver, B.C. (I live out in the burbs) our government took immediate action and at first we were told to stay home and we did with no contact physically with anyone.  Things have improved a great deal here and smaller shops and other stores as well as malls have opened up.  Our death rate has dropped a great deal thank heavens.  Parks are open and some travel inside Canada.  Restaurants are open and even pubs, but as for myself and my friends and family we are a little leery of going that far.  We do wear masks in certain places and line-up (6 meters apart from the person in front of you) is still regulated in many places.

Please remember that many of those who have COVID and some who pass away either have compromised immune systems or it's the elderly in nursing homes.  Seems even in Canada they were grouping it all together.  Example:  If someone had lung disease they just put it under COVID which isn't always the case.

Canadians began to question what is fear factor and what is real and the media is great for the fear factor.  We asked many people who they knew that had COVID and not one of these people knew anyone.  Please try not to panic and it's OK to go out for a walk with mask on and gloves if that makes you feel better.  We did in Canada and lived to tell about it.

Take care my friends and this to shall pass.  I'm always thinking of all of you even though I haven't posted much recently, but I promise I will post much more.

Love you all



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