Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7, 2022. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Charles E. Nelson on September 10, 2020 at 9:54pm

Dear Deborah,

I apologize for not acknowledging your and Greg's anniversary - what a lovely picture of you two!

The end of August and beginning of September are "loaded" calendar days for me - I proposed to Larry on Aug. 27th in 1983 (in a public restaurant - caused more than a few raised eyebrows I tell you!) - then just a few days later my mother passed away on Sept. 1st. I always get a little buggy around these dates, and I am so grateful and fortunate that Steve gets it and is very patient and comforting through my mood swings and somewhat erratic behavior. Of course, this is me we're talking about, so it would be fair if someone asked how such behavior differs from "everyday" Chuck.

I'm smiling thinking of you grilling for your family and playing games - Labor Day was always such a fun weekend for me with Larry - he had the long weekend and took the Friday off so we could get an early start driving to Hancock, Mass. to go antiquing, visiting a country fair, and just enjoy the beautiful Berkshire Mountain scenery during walks in woods and fields. These are some of my most pleasant memories  - thinking of them is so bittersweet that I don't even know how to describe the feelings. If I were a character in an episode of The Twilight Zone I would be the old man trying to go back in time...

I'm happy to know you are well, and really hope that everyone else is too. I especially worry about Mary Janr with the terrible fires, and send prayers to all who have friends or family out west. I'm waiting to hear about my cousin's family who moved to Portland 5 years ago.

Deborah you are indeed blessed to have your family near you - I pray they will always be so and that you have many more fun times ahead!

Love, Chuck - and love and hugs to all and be well and safe.

Comment by deborah peck on September 7, 2020 at 11:40am

Happy Labor day everyone, hope this day finds everyone healthy and happy. My kids and grandkids came over Saturday and I grilled for them and we all had fun playing games, including hide n seek for my youngest grandchild, was so nice, nothing makes me happier then when we are all together, I am truly blessed they all live near by, love to you all and stay safe

Comment by Trina Mamoon on September 1, 2020 at 11:49am

Dear Deborah,

Thinking of you today and sending you big hugs. The markers days the most painful, but as Marsha says, our beloved spouses are close to us even though they are no longer here physically. 

Let the wonderful memories of Greg and of your wedding day bring a smile to your face today.

Love, Trina 

Comment by Marsha H on September 1, 2020 at 7:10am

Dear Deborah ...  I am a little late responding (time change) and what a beautiful photo of you and Greg's wedding day.  I know it's difficult to believe our spouses are no longer with us.  I am sure he is close to you now.  Thanks for sharing the beautiful picture of both of you.  What a beautiful bride you are.

Love & Hugs


Comment by deborah peck on August 31, 2020 at 7:46am

Today is Greg and my 29th wedding anniversary, so wish he was here to celebrate

Comment by Marsha H on August 31, 2020 at 5:11am

Deborah ...  you never cease to amaze me.  Yes, Ernie's b/d was Aug. 30th.  I got through it OK and kept busy.  Whether it sounds weird or not during special holidays such as Valentine's Day, Christmas and New Year's I still buy him a card for each one, but not his b/d.  I just wish wish him a happy b/d out loud.  Thanks so much my dear friend for thinking of my Ernie.  I certainly appreciate it.



Comment by Mary. Jane on August 30, 2020 at 6:35pm

Wow, DJ! You remembered Ernies birthday? That is soo thoughtful of you!  I can only remember TWO birthdays..MINE, cuz I am self centered, and Melindas, cuz I was THERE when she was born! (Ok, I know BOBS, but it passes almost un noted these days)

Comment by DJ on August 30, 2020 at 5:26pm

Isn't today Ernie's birthday?  I wish you pleasant memories.

Comment by Marsha H on August 30, 2020 at 4:36pm

Dear Deborah ...

It's great to see you post and I've missed you.  Happy to hear you have gotten away and enjoyed yourself even with this virus going around.  You deserved the time away.  So sorry that you had to have that surgery, but was relieved that you are free and clear of the cancer now.  I do believe in bird signs by our loved ones.  Ernie's favorite bird were Robins and every so often one will cross my path and I just feel it's him checking in on me.

As you know I live just outside Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada and we're back to wearing masks almost everywhere.  The 2o year olds to the 30 year old refuse to listen to any warnings of this virus and keep having huge crowds of parties and since many of the Pubs closed because no one would listen to the rules these young people have now taken to the beach.  Police are handing out heavy duty fines, but I doubt most won't be paid.  Can't complain with the exception I need a holiday as well, but can't go anywhere so have been gardening and throwing junk out of the house and giving some to charity.  I'm trying now to figure out what I can do through the winter months.  Find it difficult because my Bible Study Group isn't meeting in person and I don't do Zoom.  Also no adoption days for the dogs that I use to go to every Sunday.  Hope this passes soon.  Keep safe my friend and am truly happy you are over the worst of it.  

Comment by Steve G. on August 30, 2020 at 12:41pm

Awesome story Deborah!

We get Blue Jays, Cardinals and a lot of Doves.  The doves shed their feathers the most, but last week Chuck found 2 Cardinal feathers.

Good to hear You are healing, stay safe and rest.


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