Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1377
Latest Conversations: Nov 8

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Bereaved Spouses to add comments!

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 20, 2020 at 10:49am

Oh Marsha..when I read your heartfelt post..I felt so deeply what you went through during those last days with Ernie. Desperately trying to save his his life, keep him calm. Not let him see how terrified you were, hiding your tears, as not to upset him...all of it..only to not be there with him at the moment he left this world. It is a pain that never goes just recedes a bit, only to surface at odd times, as fresh as it happened only yesterday. 

But, I also know, without a doubt, he KNEW you were there after he had “died”, as HE WAS STILL THERE..he wasn,t in his physical body, but he was still in the room, watching you, knowing you were there as soon as you could be. 

I have heard SO MANY stories of “near death” experiences, when the soul leaves the body, but is still above in the room, watching loved ones grieve. Every single story of this is EXCTLY the same. People who die for a bit, then return to their material body describe the EXACT same scenario ..floating above the room, then returning to their human form, cuz it was not their time. So it makes sense, if THOSE people could watch from above, so can people who didn,t return.

Ernie was waiting for you to arrive into the hospital..  he knows how much you loved him, and I believe all of our loved ones are STILL watching over us..and always will be..until we all leave this realm, and are reborn in our new lives. Together.

Comment by Marsha H on February 20, 2020 at 5:51am

Dearest Deborah P ...  Thank you so much for that wonderful post and it made me smile and also for being so candid about your own experience with Greg.  I guess that's what I miss most those loving big arms just holding me.  It will be 9 years since Ernie passed and I thought all this would be over, but when you've met your soul mate and they pass away I doubt it's ever over and the crying just isn't as often, but as you say something can trigger it off. 

I am so happy you had that experience with Greg.  I haven't felt Ernie around for a very long time.  I did have one dream recently which wasn't one I care to remember for long.  I was half asleep sideways on the sofa and it was as if I should be going somewhere with Ernie, but didn't want to go and I could see him leave through the side door and looked back at me and obviously annoyed with me.  I have no idea why I had that dream.  I hope I am lucky enough to feel what you did.

Thank you for caring my dear friend and it's so appreciated.

I wish you only peace and joy and it seems you are on the right path.

Love and your friend too


Comment by Marsha H on February 20, 2020 at 5:45am

Dear Chuck ...

Thank so much for that up-lifting post you left me and it made me feel much better.  Thank you for also sharing how you felt.  What you said makes so much sense.  Thank you again my dear friend and hope you keep well too and have joy and peace in your life.

Love you more!


Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 19, 2020 at 1:44pm

Dear Deborah,

Thank you for sharing that beautiful moment you experienced Greg's embrace and knew he was with you and your sister. I have had certain moments when I was faced with something so overwhelmingly taxing or upsetting that I felt like I was drowning when I also felt Larry's love and presence bringing a calm and peace so gently and thoroughly that I wondered if I had fallen asleep and was dreaming. When those things occurred I was grateful for the balm of relief of course, but I was especially comforted by the knowledge that Larry still existed in some way that is beyond my understanding or knowledge, but he wasn't simply snuffed out like a candle. This also let me know that whatever he felt for me in this life also lives, and that is something I have always believed - love never dies. 

Wishing you peace today, and again thank you for that wonderful image of you being hugged by Greg - 

Love, Chuck

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 19, 2020 at 1:34pm

Dear Marsha,

Oh how I wish the miles between us didn't exist, as I know well that feeling of the inner child living with fear and sadness that only tears can express. Most often when they surface now it is in response to some outside stimulus - a movie, TV show, or piece of music. While it looks like I am crying about that, my thoughts take whatever inspired my tears and seamlessly translates it into my feelings for Larry, memories of our life, and my grief. Sometimes Steve sees me and his expression says it all - that he knows precisely what's happening. Sometimes I am alone and just breathe deeply until it passes. What I learned here, especially from some of the first advice you gave me, was that having these emotional moments were natural, healthy, and not any indications of lunacy -  something I was not at all sure of at the time!

My friend, I do wish you peace in mind and spirit, and send a long tight hug from afar with all my love -


Comment by deborah peck on February 18, 2020 at 2:11pm

Marsha, I am so sorry you are going thru a hard time right now, I get the crying jags and having to just let it out, if not it hits you at the strangest times, I think it really does take the first few years to realize they aren't coming back, I try not to think about it and talk to him like hes here, I keep expecting Greg to come home too. I am sending you hugs and know that Ernie is giving you hugs too. Did I tell you what happened on the 1st anniversary of Gregs passing. my sister and I went to the smokey mountains as it was mine and his favorite spot, I went because of a desperate need to say goodbye, well it was a horrible trip and I never should of gone but the most amazing thing happened, one evening my sis and I decided to go shop in Gatlinburg and as we were walking down the street she started cryin and said this is so wrong,  I replied with its okay, she looked at me and said why do you keep saying that,its not okay, I looked at her and said its all I know to say, we just stood there for a few minutes trying to get ourselves together and I closed my eyes and felt Gregs arms engulf me in a hug and hold me, I opened my eyes with a big smile and new he was here with us both, was the most amazing thing to feel so I know he is with me when I need him just as your Ernie is. I hope you start feeling better soon, love your friend

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 18, 2020 at 1:59pm

Found my credit was in a hiding place I had forgotten I had! This is the CC I use for ONLY online purchases..I had forgotten I NEVER carry it with me. See..THIS is the person I have become..spaced out! 

Still waiting for plumber. Grrrrrrr!

Comment by Marsha H on February 18, 2020 at 6:19am

Sara it's always wonderful to see you post.  I sure haven't forgotten you and hope things are going well for you.



Comment by Marsha H on February 18, 2020 at 6:18am

Mary.Jane ...

Don't worry about it and do understand.  Had to have my washing machine fixed just over a month ago.  Glad no one used your credit card.  I hope the plumber is on time and you get everything fixed fast without to much cost.

Comment by Mary. Jane on February 18, 2020 at 1:35am

Oh, I am so very sorry,Marsha. Please forgive me for not responding sooner..last night, and today, which is a entire plumbing system is totally backed  up..washer and toilets backing up to kitchen sink and, I lost one of my credit cards. So I will post again b4 the plumber gets here. It’s really a mess. But I know exactly how you felt, when Ernie very helpless, but smiling and “staying strong”.

Sara. awesome that u r here too..bye for now all.



Members (1377)


Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2022   Created by   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service