Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1378
Latest Conversations: Apr 28

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on November 28, 2019 at 3:52pm

Sarah ...  I am praying your back is getting much better.  It's easy to sprain yourself.  I've been washing walls in the living room and painting and my back hurts also, but it's my mind saying 'yup you can do it' and my body protesting.  LOL  I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving and you seem to have a great attitude about moving forward although you will never forget Ken.  I'm doing the same thing and trying to be thankful with what I have and the people in my life and this family here has been a lifeline to me as well.



Comment by Marsha H on November 28, 2019 at 3:49pm

Mary Jane ...  I would speak with your daughter first.  We sometimes forget that others that new our spouses and especially in your case, father, it could upset some people.  If your daughter is OK with it then set a place setting on the side of the table and not at the head of the table.  Hope this helps and have a wonderful dinner.

Love ya


Comment by Marsha H on November 28, 2019 at 3:47pm




Comment by Chicago Beard on November 28, 2019 at 1:50pm

Happy Thanksgiving to my Legacy family. May your day be filled with peace and good food!

Comment by Mary. Jane on November 28, 2019 at 10:39am

Oh Sara.that was a lovely post.I will pray for strength for your back. When backs get bad, it effects every other part of the body. I know that “old lady shuffle”. I wish you a pain free wonderful day.God bless you, and everyone else here.

Comment by Mary. Jane on November 28, 2019 at 10:36am

This might seem weird, and it is just a thought, but here goes. I am hosting Thanksgiving for the first time in over 10 years. My daughter, her hubby and his parents r coming..and I just thought of creating a place setting for Bob. My table seats 6...probably won,t do it..but I might. Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday..above all others. He HATED Christmas, didn,t care about his birthday, but LOVED Thanksgiving. I have missed him in this new home..I can feel him so,Times, but not as strong as I did. 

Oh well..time to,start cooking. And watch the PARADE! 

Comment by Sara Murphy on November 28, 2019 at 10:29am

Happy Thanksgiving to my Legacy family.  I wish you all peace.  Today I choose to focus on what I still have and am grateful for.  I know that's what Ken would want me to do.

Chuck....that was quite a story.  On this Thanksgiving day, I'm grateful you weren't more seriously injured.  To be honest, I thought with your title of "My Scary Halloween", you were going to tell us a story of how you saw Larry as you were putting your display together. 

Mary Jane.....How scary those wildfires are even just to see in the news.  I'm grateful you and your family were safe during the worst of it and that you had a home to go back to.   

I myself have been dealing with back issues the past couple weeks which got worse this past weekend.  I had herniated a disc in 2015 and I think it happened again but my doc thinks it's just a muscle injury/strain.  I hope she's right but in the meantime, I feel like a 90 yr old shuffling around.  I guess for today, I'm grateful to be standing on my own 2 feet however difficult that may be.

Again, I hope you all enjoy your day but let's not "go dark" for quite so long.  This site is a lifeline for us all.

Comment by Steve G. on November 28, 2019 at 6:57am

To you and your family as well Mary Jane!

To all on Legacy a very gentle day, love those around you, remember all us here are with you as well as our dearly departed.


Comment by Mary. Jane on November 28, 2019 at 12:21am

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, everyone. I hope this day is gentle and kind to all of you.

Comment by Mary. Jane on November 25, 2019 at 11:50am

Thanks, Steve..ironically tornadoes were one of the reasons I moved back to the Bay Area, where I had grown up in, and lived except for 15 years spent in Oklahoma..and Melinda was terrified listening to me huddled in my storm shelter for hours, waiting for the BIG ONE. Last summer one came within miles of me...taking out a few miles of homes..and businesses so we agreed I would return. I knew they had had a big fire here  in 2017...which decimated dozens of residential areas close to,where I now live, but we figured lightening never strikes I wasn,t worried. Big mistake. 

Where I grew up has changed SO BADLY in those 15 years..poverty and homelessness is RAMPANT!  Tent cities with thousands of displaced people are all over the areas..due to the HORRIBLE greed of the SF Bay Area..there is no housing for these people...we are talking THOUSANDS of in tents and RVs. The cost of living here is STUNNING at best...the average yearly rent is $42,000 per year. 

Couple that, with PG&E the gas and electric company, who instead of FIXING anything, just add more overhead power lines that SPARK and start brush fires, cuz the land is rarely cleared...trees that have never been cut back..and dry drought areas..super high winds, no rain here for over 7 months.seriously, and their only fix is to shut off power to everyone in Northern CA.

it is as if I have moved to HELL. Rich people are buying housing apt buildings, and kicking out long term renters, we are talking people who have been living in places for over 40 years! 

And the CRIME in the big cities! I won,t even get started on that.. 

Also, the price of items is double what is is in other areas! Even Walmart charges DOUBLE what they charge for a simple pole lamp in Oklahoma..and when I tried to buy it online at $12 instead of $24...they said they didn,t ship that item to California. 

Thanks for letting me vent.  I was SOOOO delighted to read Virginia’s post, as I, too come here often, only to find a ghost site. 

Also, my apologies to I emailed her and never answered her reply...luv you, girl. 

Please everyone, let’s keep this place full of our postings...

OH THERE IS SOME GOOD NEWS...there is a monthly magazine in the park, that I have been writing for! I call my column “AS I SEE IT” and I write kind of Andy Rooney type things about life here..all with humor...but the editor is stepping down in January, so that will be ending. No one else has come forward to take over..I cannot do it, as my focus isn,t strong enough to do that..I haven,t even UNPACKED all the boxes I moved here..and I REALLY miss Bob...I cannot feel him as much here...which makes me very depressed.

Thanks for reading this.SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM EVERYONE! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


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