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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7. 6 Replies

Universe

Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on February 2, 2022 at 2:54pm

Thank you everyone. This is a short reply, but it’s been a strange few days...I feel sort of overwhelmed, but for seemingly no reason.

i am sure this will,pass. 

Sara, YES, I saw all the snow on the news! I actually MISS the snow we got in Oklahoma...not too much, just enough to look pretty. I remember one time there was ALOT of it, so we put our kitty on the back steps to see what he would do. He sniffed,  shook his little feet and GLARED at us as he RAN back inside.

ok NAPTIME..bye for now.

Comment by Sara Murphy on February 1, 2022 at 9:51pm

Hi Chuck.....so our blizzard made the news.  It's always fun getting 2 ft of snow, you remember what that's like right. I spent the day of the blizzard binge watching Seal Team (I love that show)  and began clean up on Sunday.  I did enough to make sure I could get out of the driveway and left the rest to slowly clear over the next few days but of course I asked Ken and my angels for help.  While I was working yesterday, my neighbor just started clearing my walkway which is quite long.  My angels came through for me again.  All any of us has to do is ask for help and it comes in time. 

I'd love to see your picture of Larry when you have a chance to scan it.  And Steve, if you're listening maybe a pic of Mark too.

Take care everyone and be safe from all the crazy weather happening throughout the country.

Love, Sara

Comment by Sara Murphy on February 1, 2022 at 9:37pm

Mary Jane.....I don't have exactly the experience you do but I do feel Ken, at times more strongly than others.  It depends what's going on but even on days that I don't feel him at all, I still know he's here.  I don't think you're losing it at all.  Our loved ones souls are still alive so they need to find a different way to communicate with us.  It's nice that you can talk to Bob.  I hope you take comfort knowing that he's with you

Love, Sara

Comment by Todd B. Goodrich on February 1, 2022 at 3:41pm

Dear Chuck!

Thank you so much dear friend! The love from here has been a blessing! As are you!

Todd

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 1, 2022 at 1:08pm

Dear Todd,

Wow, what a great picture of you and Claudia - such a good- looking couple you make!

As Valentine's Day nears, and with it the 6th anniversary of your loss, I'm keeping you in my prayers and wish you only good things every day.

Stay well - 

Love, Chuck

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 1, 2022 at 1:04pm

Dear Sara, I just wanted to say that I hope you weathered the big storm OK - you guys really got hit in Boston!

I love the photo you shared and have one of Larry and I that I wish to scan into the computer so I can share it also - I recently asked myself which photo of us I'd keep if I had to choose just one - it may be the one I mention, because it instantly takes me back to when we were first falling in love, and there were no more happier days for us than that time.

Be well and stay warm - 

Love, Chuck

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 1, 2022 at 1:00pm

Dear Mary Jane,

Well, if you are losing it, then you have plenty of company here. While the sensation you describe is slightly different than what I experience, I definitely am aware of being reminded of Larry and his presence, or essence, somehow still in my life. 

I recently turned 68, and in the days leading up to my birthday several things brought this feeling to the forefront. I've always heard of pennies being sent as a signal or message from our loved ones, but never personally had much experience with them. Larry was always acutely aware of pennies he would find on the ground,  paying attention their year or what side was up. A few weeks ago I found myself looking down to find brand new pennies at my feet - at a check out, in a parking lot, and on a sidewalk.  All three within days of each other, and every time I was flooded with the feeling of Larry being nearby and trying to sooth me of any negative feelings about getting older. 

I've been dreaming a lot lately of people and places from long ago in my life - I awake with feelings of longing, sometimes regret, and an intense desire to know how those people are now. I don't act on this - no facebook for this one thank you. I do wonder if somehow this is all connected to the plans Steve and I are making to relocate within the year. 

So Mary Jane, I for one feel Larry is still here with me, however you define "here". It's both comforting and thought provoking - my feelings about life and afterlife are complicated to put it mildly. Don't worry too much about your sanity my friend - if you watch 5 minutes of news these days one quickly realizes that "sanity' and "normal" have become terms with flexible definitions anymore. *sigh*

Stay well, and welcome your communications with Bob, because they are happening for a reason, even if we can't be sure what that reason is.

Love, Chuck   

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 31, 2022 at 10:46pm

 To “loose it” Hello,everyone...I FINALLY figured out how to get here on my IPAD...this is huge. 

I want to ask y’all...in Feb, it will be the beginning of the 7th year since Bob died. Soo.6 full years have passed at the end of that month...and I am much better..than I was...but lately, a strange thing has been happening. I will be doing something “mundane” like making the bed..etc..and I will hear a “suggestion” in my heart..as if Bob is talking to me..as I fluff the pillow, my brain begins TALKING to him..stuff like “is this fluffy enough” or, “should I put the pillow down so u can rest your head on it.” Or  (from HIM,“maybe you should move over a bit..u r kind of crowding the bed”..STUFF LIKE THAT. Am I loosing my mind? This is a VERY new development..maybe because I have lived in this new home for almost 3 years, and he is finally HERE? 

Omg, as I type this, I can feel him SMILING at me! As if he finds this very humorous. OMG, I am not ready to LOOSE IT yet.

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 14, 2022 at 8:35pm

Thanks everyone.  Jan 13th will always be a day which marks the passage of time.  On the 1 yr anniversary I took the day off from work and vowed I would take every Jan 13th off to reflect and honor Ken.  I did take the day off the 2nd year as well but by the 3rd year, I decided I needed to treat the day like any other.  I miss him on the 12th and 14th (and every other day) as much as the 13th so it's best if I work and make the day as "normal" as possible.  It also happens to be a busy time at work so it's not good for me to take a day.  That's what I did and then made one of Ken's favorite meals for dinner. 

Todd....Claudia was beautiful.  You're a lucky man to have her watching over you.  I'll be thinking about you on Feb 14.

Mary Jane.....you can attach your pic by clicking either the image or file icon.  Look forward to seeing it.

Sending hugs your way

Sara

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 14, 2022 at 12:52am

Ok I have a picture, I just have to figure out how to post it here.

 

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