My name is Kelly and I'm new to this board. In May 2011 my mother died of complications due to cancer. Then November 13, 2012 my father passed away from complications due to cancer. I am 32 years old, I'm married and I have a 16 month old daughter. Since my father passed away, I have been having a hard time trying to make sense of everything. A lot of the time I get very moody and angry. Then I take it out on my husband and sometimes yell at my daughter for no reason. I hate how I've been. I feel like I'm still trying to get over my mothers death and now I have to deal with my dad being gone. A part of me feels so alone when in reality I have a good support system. I feel like no one can relate to the feelings I have. I'm sad, angry, confused, etc, etc, etc. Its weird because my parents house is still the same inside. Almost like my dad just went out and he'll be back soon. I mean what do you do with an empty house full of memories? Ugh, any advice or support that anyone could give would be really appreciated. Thanks  

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Hello Kelly , and i am sorry for your losses. Like  you i have lost, or had both parents die. my mum years ago when I was 13 and my dad 3 christmas's ago.  I am54. i still feel like the little girl when i think of my mum. Please dont be too hard on yourself. it is hard to come to terms to being without parents. and you have not had the time to get digest not having your mUm.

That feeling of being alone is real, but know it is just a feeling, as you have love all around you. Because we are nurtured by our parents, it is their job to look after us. dont be so hard n yourself  about this. i feel the same and i have 2 girls, one 27 and one 12.

I was so angry and mad and angry and sad and mad. it kept going aound in a cycle. I ended up talking to a grief counsellor as I felt i did not know how to deal with it all and be civil to my youngest daughter. Talking to the counsellor really helped. I find I still talk about dad a lot even though my youngest gets sad talking about Poppy.

As you have really recently lost your Dad, it is prob like it is not real. time may help but maybe go to the house with family or freinds and start to chose some things you really want to keep. 

I found writing  poetry , filling pages with my feelings just for me and my counsellor to read, really helpful.try filling the house with flowers, creating a happier place.  i wish you love and peace. Oh its so hard. your parents ae the closest and most important people in your life.  light  candle for them and pray. know you will feel better. and u have people who care.xxxxx love and Blessings June


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