Dreams/Visions

or about a year before my son left I had dreams. One I was handed a small scroll with 'Death' and beneath it the number 17. Before, I always added numbers from dreams but took this litteral. Every month afterward on the 17th I'd wonder who it was and if it would be that day. Only shared this with one friend. No one in my family.

Gads. To say I was edgy and unnerved would be true. I prayed a LOT. Prayed for this not to happen. Yet if it could not, for strength and courage. So clueless it was my son had another dream I was driving in the dark with the headlights off. Felt the car going out of control and clearly heard: "Trust God."
Woke up and prayed. So many things were pointing but were as clear as mud until it was too late. Actually this really started when my son had just had his first birthday. Makes me wonder. Angry too. But not at my son.

As it turned out he left on August 8. 1+7. My husband knew about that dream. So did my Mom. Regarding the car dream. Clearly I knew had something to do with my life path. Like a simmering valcano on a island. Can't get off. No place to hide. Feeling scaed yet comforted knowing I can trust God.
Still, I was not prepared it was my son. And understand enough to know how although knowledge is power, ignorance is bliss. Wish I had a dollar for every time I've smacked my forehead with the palm of my hand since the night I learned he died. How could I have been so blind? What could I have done to stop him?

The valcano errupted. I screamed, 'NO! NO! NO!' At the coroner. No place to run. Fiery angry at everyone. Especially at my family. Enough!!! All had contributed to hurting him. All showed little to no compassion. But give them credit because they stepped in to help get the mechanics for his remains and personal effects taken care of. Not once did I ask. Had planned on doing this myself.
Death is 'messy.' So to speak. Had delt with it before. When it is your child...well I need not say. Every parent understands that have lost a child.

A few months after he left, he made contact with me and my husband. This was done out of love from him. To let us know he is ok. He is happy.

I know is one reason I was born. To be a Mom. In this life. I have 3 children. Lost all 3.
Would very much like to hear from others. As humans we need each other. To help each other. To love without 'expecting.' Because that makes love conditional. 'I will love you if...' Is safe to say I loved my son gently. Still do. My son was more ill than I realized.

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Permalink Reply by BONNIE on January 17, 2012 at 7:40pm

http://numerology-thenumbersandtheirmeanings.blogspot.com/2011/05/n...

If you googled the spiritual significance of the number 17 in your dreams you would have come up with this above.

It is an odd coincidence that my step mother died on the 17 and my sister kept having dreams of the 17 sign. She was going on about the significance of her dreams and the number 17 so I just googled it. Now I look at your writing and I see clearly that you have had a terrible loss on this earth.

Do you know how and why your children died? I am curious to know more.

I know we are here to learn and that maybe just maybe this life on earth is less real then the next dimension.

If you read that link above you can see that the number you mention has significance and that while we are at a great loss and miss our loved ones so much longing to just have another moment with them. To give a hug, to say the right thing....if only it could have lasted longer..

The finality of it all is how it appears. Yet, is it possible the 17 or 8 as in the dream or vision tells as story that if you research it means that there is no real end because there is a cycle and life can't end. There is no end and there is no beginning it is just an illusion. There is no time in heaven or so they say a day in heaven is a thousand years on earth. Does this mean our days here are measured not by the time but the content of what we do in that time? The lessons we learn are to cherish all those we now come in contact with. Our earthly time is but a blip as measured in the grand scheme of things. What are we learn is to feel and to know that life is eternal.

Our loved ones do live on and we may be in contact in the future. Our time here is not infinite in the third dimension. That is the earth is 3d. There are other dimensions.

We have much to learn. There is so much science that has to learn.

I am at a loss today..I miss my child that has gone before me.

It is not fair I scream and yell inside. Quiet on the outside. Noone knows the ache inside. Dare I cause another misery. I say that she lives on. I know it is true. Gone too soon...

Pray is all I can say. Pray and learn. Do your best to learn what you are here to learn.

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