Gay and lesbians who have lost partners


Gay and lesbians who have lost partners

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Recent Loss

Started by Aaron R Gould. Last reply by John DiLorenzo Jr Aug 24. 2 Replies

On March 4th, 2021, my partner Kyle committed suicide, by shotgun to the head. I found him in his car, and have been feeling incredibly anxious and alone since then. He always struggled with mental…Continue

Lost my Partner of 5 years

Started by James James. Last reply by John Baluyut Apr 18. 3 Replies

Hello, My name is Jim.   Last month I lost my partner and best friend of 5 years unexpectedly.   The grief and sense of loss is so overwhelming,    In a single instance my life has been turned upside…Continue


Started by Tony Przybyla. Last reply by Kevin Dadouses Apr 18, 2020. 1 Reply

lost my partner of  42 yrs last may.  still hurts and this stay at home isolates even more. hard to move forward but am trying.  have been out of touch w/ gay community for last 15-20 yrs...due to…Continue

Looking for people who can understand my loss

Started by Amanda. Last reply by Amy Bartola Sep 3, 2019. 10 Replies

Hello, my name is Amanda. I lost my partner over 3 years ago. It was a sudden and unexpected loss. I'm still grieving and struggling with it. I came on here hoping to find people who could understand…Continue

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Comment by Shane Clements on January 27, 2014 at 11:29pm

Dan I am so sorry for what you are going through! I know all too well your exact feelings, It will be one year April 4th that my Billy passed away and as Mike said hang in there and take it one day at a time! You my dear friend are by no means crazy! The feelings your experiencing are very valid and all a part of the grieving process! We are here for you my friend! 

Comment by Dan Brown on January 27, 2014 at 11:06pm

Thanx Mike. Just hearing someone say I'm not crazy helps

Comment by Michael Reda on January 27, 2014 at 10:59pm
Hang in there, Dan. Just get through tonight, and then you need only worry about getting through tomorrow. Just focus on one day at a time. That's how I am getting through my Jim's death up to now. And my offer stands. Call me anytime if you need to talk to someone who has been there. I'm here anytime. Day or night. Sending Love your way. - Mike
Comment by Dan Brown on January 27, 2014 at 10:51pm

Tonight's the first night since Doug passed that I am going to TRY to sleep in our bed.  The entire 11.5 years we were together we only spent two nights apart. I'm feeling alone and nauseous. I put the shirt he wore his last day, on his pillow. It won't be the same, ever again, but it's all I have.   I want to go to sleep, dream of him, and never wake up.   I'm considering getting up and bringing a pup to bed. We never let them in here, but some company might help. I know everyone says it'll get better, but I just want it to not have happened. I'm sure that's not very helpful to my mental state, but I don't care. 

Comment by Dan Brown on January 25, 2014 at 12:24pm

Tonight is Doug's memorial.  I'm trying to tell myself today is no worse than yesterday or the day before.  He's no more gone today than any other day this past week.  But I can't seem to make the tears stop.  I thought yesterday was going to be an ok day.  I sat home with the pups and didn't cry as much as I thought I would, then last night it just hit like a ton of bricks and hasn't let up. I know his friends and family will try to comfort me tonight, but saying goodbye, hearing his favorite pasty cline songs, seeing his pic and those of us, will break my heart even more, if that's possible. 

Comment by Bill Neely on January 24, 2014 at 4:58pm

Dan: deepest sympathies for  your loss, I lost my partner Josh 2 months ago today, you probably won't remember much of this week, I know I have a huge blank space between doing CPR at 1:30 in the AM and having him declared dead at the hospital at 2:20 AM, and spreading his ashes on Dec 29th. I will let you know that you will survive , and the "new normal " that everyone talks about will suck for the near future, but, things do start to become a routine again,

Comment by Dan Brown on January 24, 2014 at 2:29pm

Saturday I lost my 39 year old partner, Doug, of 11.5 years. I'm still in shock & don't know how Ill survive. I feel so lost and alone & was hoping I could find some comfort here.  His celebration of life is tomorrow & I'm not ready to say goodbye.  Doug  my entire life. I feel like a puzzle missing the final piece to make me whole.  Our 3 furbabies are the thing helping me through this process. 

Comment by geri hen on November 22, 2013 at 12:46am

Hi Kimmy, I belong to this group and another web site for lesbian widows.  I lost my partner of 30 yrs. on Aug. 1st to a staff infection cause by cancer that was misdiagnosed.  I am sorry for your loss, I really am.  Every day I cry about missing Sharon.  The house is very empty without her and it seems as though there is no purpose anymore.  I have been told that the first year is the worse and for other the second because during the second the shock is gone and reality sets in that our loved one will not be coming back.  Maybe you entered another relationship too soon, maybe you needed a little more time just process your feelings and perhaps seek counseling or a support group.  If your not sure what to do maybe it's better to do nothing.  Doing nothing is also a choice.  Grieving the loss of Jules will take time and you need to be gentle with yourself.  If you want to talk further I'll give you my email.  Sending you a hug, sounds like you need one.  Also sending you a prayer.  Geri

Comment by Kimmy Jo Borders on November 21, 2013 at 10:09pm

I just joined...I lost my partner and soulmate in April from Liver cancer.  I was her caregiver and best friend.  I miss her so bad.  It seems hard for others to understand our relationship. I tried to have another relationship and it just didn't work.  I don't think she could handle my sad days.  She walked out on me two weeks ago because of it. I have come to terms with the realization that my Jules will never be back.  She is gone from me.  I sometimes wonder if my life will now go on alone.  She was such a strong woman and fought the best fight. 

Comment by Scott on October 31, 2013 at 4:28pm

Hi Steve,

I'm really sorry to hear your partner passed.  My partner of 13 years died in April after being diagnosed with liver cancer.    Like you said, you probably are still in a bit of shock.  I know I was pretty much numb for a month or so.  Like Shane said time does ease the pain a bit. Right now, be gentle on yourself.  Do what you have to but listen to your body.    Without a doubt, reach out when you need to.  We're all in this together.      Scott


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