I lost my grandad around 4 years ago he was more like my best friend he thought me how to play pool, cards he taught me some Germany the square root of 3 so many silly insignificant things that now is a big part of memories. He died of a brain tumor and yeah we got sometime after the diagnosis but it wasn't enough because he had an operation and he came out so strong so I had such high hopes he'd make it I'd never thought that he'd die. But he did and now I'm so lost he inspired me he taught me so many things and made me want to achieve so much but now I just feel like I've gave up. The worst part I think is the silence, I remember whenever I was scared I'd go down stairs and there he'd be listening to opera laura pausini andrea brocelli amd he'd sit me on his knee and we'd just talk and now he's not there and it's so quiet and I dunno how to live with that live with the void. many people have said he's in a better place think of the memories but it just makes it worse I don't want him in a better place I just want him here , the memories just hurt more I just feel so numb without him