Grandparents who grieve for aborted grandchildren


Grandparents who grieve for aborted grandchildren

How do we cope when our child decides to abort our grandchild? 

Location: Texas
Members: 12
Latest Conversations: Dec 11, 2020

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Started by Delores Anne Smith. Last reply by Bettye Cardillo Sep 10, 2014. 1 Reply

My daughter has an addiction problem.  She gave birth to two little boys, the first is now nine  and we've adopted him.  The second was born 2 yrs later, suffers from fetal alchohol syndrome and was…Continue

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Comment by TJ on January 27, 2020 at 3:30pm
Hello. I am new to this group. I needed an output for my current situation. I am a first time grandma to a grandson, now 14 months. I recently found out my daughter is pregnant again during an argument she was having with her boyfriend. She is telling me she is planning to terminate the pregnancy and I don’t know how to handle it. It is true that they are barely making it now financially but my mind keeps seeing this helpless little life that did not ask to be created, getting ready to see the end of its life before it can even live. I don’t know how to feel. And I’m dealing with it alone because nobody else knows except the three of us. And I’m hoping that she isn’t doing this because she feels like it’s something she has to to avoid placing another financial burden on her father and I. All I see is that tiny life whenever I look at her. And I’m struggling
Comment by Blair Alexandria Gorham on December 17, 2015 at 11:41am
I'm so sorry for your loss Beverley.. Even though I am not a grandmother.. My friend aborted her baby. It hurts my soul knowing that these children never had a chance. There is a scripture though that helps me have hope is at Psamls 139: 13- 16 says My bones were not hidden from you
When I was made in secret,
When I was woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes even saw me as an embryo;
All its parts were written in your book.
So you see God remembers those little lives.
Comment by Deena on August 20, 2015 at 12:40am


Thursday Aug 13, our daughter decided to abort, the baby was 11 wks. We had known about the pregnancy for about 6 days. There were three offers of adoption for the very much wanted little Nugget. We just couldn't change her mind and even though we had alot of people praying for the life of this baby, God did not intervine. We did not judge or say harsh words when we found out about the pregnancy, Our main concerns were for the babys life and the welfare of our daughter , we wanted her to know that we loved her no matter what. I did tell my daughter that we had removed her from our insurance, I just could not be part of this. Our daughter is 23 so old enough to get her own insurance. When I took her off the insurance she said " you are not just losing a grandkid but a daughter too" We know she went through with the abortion (Our other daughter told us). We sent flowers the next day with a card that said "we love you unconditional" (even though Im not sure if I having loving feelings right now for her) We felt we needed to love her like like this, i had prayed and felt that God wanted me to reach out to her in grace.

While she was still pregnant I had spoke to pregnancy services and they gave me a little rubber feeling preborn baby doll that was 12wks , it may sound stupid but I am writing the baby a letter and I am putting that with the doll and am burying it, I dont know how else to get closure. I will probley also write my daughter a letter too and bury that too... Just feel very numb and sad. I am glad I found this group. These babies lives matter.....Deena

Comment by Devestated101 on September 1, 2014 at 10:40pm

Hi Beverly,

I am sorry for what you endured.  I am sending a big hug your way. 

Comment by Beverly on September 1, 2014 at 10:34pm
It's been three years now. My daughter aborted two. The first one, 5 weeks old, was because she didn't want to be pregnant and the second one, 5 months old (she named him Evan) because the doctor said he had spina bifida. I was so upset. That very day, my husband and I went to the "clinic" to do I don't know what; show her we loved her, but when we got home, I got out of the car and a group of young boys walked by and one said sarcastically, "hi GRANDMA". I knew right then and there it was the devil behind it all! It's been three years and my daughter got married to someone new and they've decided not to have children. So she will NEVER know what it's like. Fortunately my youngest daughter has had two children now so my end years can still be full.
Comment by Devestated101 on August 13, 2014 at 5:16pm

I'm glad I found this. My ED had two abortions. One at 10 weeks and the other at 14 wks. We were devastated. We would have done everything to help her like many of you here. I feel like we cared more about it than she did. 

Comment by grieving grandmother on November 25, 2012 at 8:29pm

My son and his girlfriend aborted a child in Feb. They were very sneaky and quick about it and we barely found out. I begged them not to but they were determined to do it. Just about a month ago, I found out they were pregnant again!! This time, her mother told me and we stayed in communication with each other with the hopes of getting these kids to take responsibility for their actions. Things were looking hopeful that it was going to be different this time. I got back from a business trip and saw the ultrasound pic. My husband(my son's dad) saw it too and we were so touched to see the little peanut! It gave me hope still that it was going to last. I took a pic of it and put it on my cell phone but we were still scared and cautious so we didn't tell the family yet. I looked at the pic later that evening and saw the tag name on the top so I looked it up. It was an abortion clinic! I dismissed it at first that maybe she was just using the place to get her exam in, but then my son said stuff that messed with my head(not the first time he has done so)..I was in denial but yesterday I noticed they were gone all day and when they got back she wasn't moving very fast. I asked my son about it and he admitted what I had feared. They did it again!!! 

I am devastated and hurt because I feel like I failed the baby. By communicating with her parents, it was the hope that with all of us on a united front, we could work together to keep the kids on the right path to at least have the baby, even if it meant adoption might be the outcome (we were okay with that as long as the baby got a chance to take its first breath). 

I asked my son promptly to leave the premises and she misunderstood that I was kicking him out for good. I wasn't disowning him, just needed him away from me for awhile. My husband and I were so good to her, even giving her a second chance after the first time with hopes that they wouldn't burn us again. We fed her dinner all the time, never mistreated her but she still sent me a nasty text message telling me what a monster I was and to quit harassing her parents and that she had no intention of letting me or my husband near the baby! Her father dismissed her claims stating she is just pissed because we are all involved. We are involved because we are genetically linked to this child!! Of course I am going to be involved!! 

I am so sad, hurt and depressed that I failed to protect this baby and that everything is being blamed on me. It was never about me, it was about saving the little one! I wasn't pushy or aggressive but spoke my peace that abortion is not a means of birth control! 

What have I done? I can't help but blame myself! 

Comment by Vicki on August 7, 2011 at 9:48am
I named my grandchild today: Sam (Samuel or Samantha) meaning "of God".  Now my sweet little grandchild will have a name.
Comment by Vicki on August 6, 2011 at 10:46am

Hello Sylvia.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I will keep you in prayer.  I did not know my daughter was pregnant.  I would have willingly helped her.  We have been very actively prolife.  She grew up knowing that abortion was murder.  She stood in prolife lines and held signs (just last year!).  I have even said to her before that there were worse things in life than getting pregnant (such as contracting STDs, etc.).  I am so confused.  I did not even know that she was sexually active, which I would not have condoned, but I would have accepted the child into our life so willingly.  I have contacted our Alpha Alternative Pregnancy Center here and taken my daughter for couseling, but she doesn't seem to be affected by her choice like I am.  I went as well, and the lady prayed with me, but she doesn't know first hand the pain that we are experiencing.  I feel that I have to name this child and set up some type of memorial.  Have you done anything? I haven't shared this with my family because I feel the pain they would experience from this would be so great.  I just don't know what to do or who to turn to (besides God).  I want answers. Maybe sharing our grief will help. Please feel free to share your story.

Comment by Sylvia on August 5, 2011 at 11:40pm
Hi Vicki. I wish I had some good advice to give. My daughter is 18 as well and aborted my first grandchild in May. Led my husband and I into believing she was keeping it. I do know the devisated feeling. Right now I'm trying to just take one day at a time.

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