A group that is for everyone who has lost a loved one. Share your memories,Talk about what you are going through or maybe find closure.
Location: New Zealand
Latest Conversations: Jun 4, 2017
i cry a lot.i what to go to heaven.i miss my we sister .and mum and dad.i am very ANGRY.in 4 year i have lot oll my family.
i lost my uncle five weeks ago, he was the last one of my dads family (my dad also died that was 10 years ago). my uncle had a woman friend and she has two grown up sons. Its sad what death does to people as the day my uncle died one of her sons phoned and told me that my uncles house would pass to his mother in the Will and none of my uncles family were wanted near the house. All i got was the time and date for his cremation which i went to but the lady friend and her side of the family did not even acknowledge me. Something like this has never happened in our family as we always go to deceased house and give them a proper send off. I think that is why i had no feelings at all and it felt i was not even grieving, only now is it finally sinking in he is really gone and i have just cried for
almost four days even my daughter is worried about me. It makes all the usual stuff about i hope he is at peace and everything like that seem worthless as i know he would have wanted myself and extended family to give him that send off, it has even made me question my faith as to why God chose for me to hurt so much over his death and not even have the comfort of a humane burial without certain people viewing his death as there beneficial profit.
he was just my uncle always phoning me and asking me how i was as he knew i missed my dad so much and i will miss him just the same as for his woman friend and her sons i never want to speak to them again, one day they will know the grief and pain they caused me after his death as what goes around comes around and if they think any of his money will keep pain and grief away from them then they are in for a shock.
Sorry to anyone reading this as it may sound i am ranting a bit its just that over the last week my grief seems to have kicked in and anyone who has lost a loved one will have some idea of what that feels like.
Hi everyone my name is Julie from Merced California please bear with me still feeling very lost and confused after this particular Monday morning May2,2011, my brother Rudy G Villa (age 42) passed away very unexpectantly. He was found dead early that morning when my mother went to awake him for breakfast he was already gone, he was sitting with a cigarrette in between his fingers (not lit) I guess he didn't get a chance to lite it but when the Coroner came to take the body she let me see my brother and one particular thing that I saw was Rudy was sitting I got ahold of his hand and he was really stiff and very cold and he had white foam coming out from his nostrils then I gave him a kiss goodbye on his hand and I cried , and cried and cried but just before the coroner leaving I managed to ask why that foam and she told me that just by seeing him like that was a sign of an Overdose Rudy was taking Vicodin and Morphene(painpills) prescribed by his doctor for an infected left toe that had Gangrene therefore that toe was recently amputated, but everything just was a mystery and my question always has been Why? Why him? just Why? you just don't know why these things happen but they do and ever since that day everything seems so lost and confused and very sad for me because I was his Home Health Caretaker , I saw him daily to give him his medications and transport him to his doctor visits and I just want to have just 2 minutes with him just to let him know how much I Love him and hes gone hes really gone and I just don't understand these things well ever since he left he took a big chunk of my heart and left with it leaving me feeling so emptied and so much confused and lost and hurting, and on days I just want to be left alone with no visits of anyone. Days have gone by and everyone has told me time heals pain but not for me just not yet, its so very hard I am 45 years old with 4 children of my own I am a grandma of 3 girls who very much need me so I try very many times to hide my deepest feelings because they all look at me for moral support but who looks at me for my comfort ? I always am the strong one , the one who carrys on with each and every thing that comes upon us on daily basis in our lives i am the one who has courage to fight all their battles and the one who refers to library for answers to our problems when I cannot find them I the one who finds cousels when needed me me and me. Sometimes I wonder to myself what would happen to my children when I'm not here anymore? but even though just thinking about that particular gesture gets me more uptight about these issues so what then I ask? Well I am hoping my brother who is in Heaven is looking down on me and sees what a mess this has cause me but I really wish he knows how much I Love him so and hes resting in peace thanks everyone for listening your friends always here anytime Julie Velasquez
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