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Comment by Irlene Hutchison on November 20, 2015 at 9:50am

Hello my Name is Irlene. And I just lost my baby brother to suicide by hanging on Saturday Nov. 14th 2015. He was found Monday the 16th. I have had the hardest most painful week of my life... I just pulled myself out of bed. My wonderful husband has taken over all of my responsibilities with kids, work, answering calls, I am just so lost. My parents are so rude and completely oblivious that my brother and I are still here not just my little sister. I am so done with them.I can't give in to there views and selfish lifestyle so I'm an outsider as well as my other brother whom is still alive. Anyone else experience this with parents after a siblings death. It's so fresh and new. I need some advice.

Comment by saie on April 26, 2015 at 7:13pm

I just lost my big brother and im trying to deal with hiss loss and be there for my family but i fill they just push me way too so how am i suppose to be strong.

Comment by Catherine Patrick on May 8, 2013 at 1:21am

Hi, my name is Cathy. My brother, Matthew, took his own life last September. I'm really looking for someone else who has gone through losing a sibling to suicide to talk to. I just feel so alone and isolated right now.

Comment by Dastan on April 10, 2012 at 12:44am

Hey Bro,

It's been quite a long time since I've been here to post my thoughts, but you have my thoughts everyday. It's scary to think that we are closer now than we've ever been in life. I'm doing well, much better than I would have predicted. Sadly, part of it has to do with knowing about others who that pass from this life. Especially when they don't live the years you were given. Isn't that terrible? Selfish? Part of it makes sense I think, because as soon as I lost you it made me a little bit sad when someone was living past 20 and you aren't around anymore. I don't understand what you did, a number of people I learn about are murdered, some by their choices of who to let into their lives. Like some marriages, but mostly boyfriend-girlfriend. They wouldn't have been in danger and that person wouldn't have wanted them dead if they were more careful about who to trust. AND NO ONE WANTED YOU DEAD! No one wanted to harm you, you were safe and didn't have to worry about some psycho saying 'if I can't have you no one else will.' Does it really take living in fear of someone taking your life to hold on to it and want to live? That's what I take with me anyway is knowing about the cold hard facts of reality of the many victims that I imagine would remark how fortunate most of us are to never live in fear, not have someone after us 24/7, to live in relative peace, that we are in control of our destiny and we should be grateful for that by living as long as the sun shines upon us. How many would want to have their chance at life back, and you just let yours scatter in the wind. As long as my thoughts are broadened and not so entirely focused on you I will have the sunshine of tomorrow. I love and miss you Bro.

Comment by Dastan on August 1, 2010 at 11:09pm

Hey Bro,

I thought you should know I'm a wreck. I took care of the laundry and picked up a little bit while I have all the time today to do it. I found a ticket stub from a movie I watched almost two years ago now. I seem to collect every article that chronicles a date in time. Then, I didn't know once I saved it, but I would have it to find again to know it marks a significant time in my life from here. Since the day you ceased to physically exist on this earth, I wondered what the many different things our family was doing in all the years past on the last day you were going to be alive. I know now with utter certainty what my life consisted of on your last day one year before. I will always have that to know for myself, I'm unsure how many people have the same thing for themselves. But being reminded exactly what I did that day makes me go back to that time in my mind, and wonder how I could have ever been told your life now counts down from 364 days. That's all the time I had left to nurture the only life I knew. I'm about the enter that many days soon without you. Taking a path where there is no road, not even a trail. I might be walking down this way for 3,654 days 5 times over. I only had two of those with you. I will have lived my life longer without you than you have been with me. What could possibly make bearing that any easier? I'm wrecked. You are the storm in this raging unforgiving sea. Love you though, Bro.

Comment by Dastan on August 1, 2010 at 12:49am

Hey Bro,

I'm dedicating this wall to you. A place to clear my thoughts. Living isn't the same, and I'm falling. I see people and wonder about them now, how could they live so long? What do they live for? I believe those thoughts, reflected outward are meant for me. I don't understand my life. It's easier to let go than to hold on, without you around. An emptiness follows me everywhere, death is my constant companion more than life. I wish I was there for you, I at least wish I could feel like I know you felt I was. I believed I had a handle on both our lives, afterall you followed me so closely I can't figure how you let yourself slip so far away. I miss you, I see you everywhere. It's like when I have time for thoughts to myself, my thoughts are to you all the time. I realize now just what enabled me to be me, it's because I was living for you. I had a purpose to set myself apart from the crowd, to rise above everything as high as the mountain tops. Since you were there to conquer your own mountain range and together we could rule the skies. I get lost in the crowd now, the simple current washes me away. You had such a profound effect on my life, and your absence has a profoundly huge impact. My whole world has been shaken off it's foundation. I'm not the person I was or will ever be again, I'm not as strong, not as sure, not as filled, and I cannot live that way. My search for how you found your way out of our lives and out of this world will go on until I know. Because before I was sure I knew, you wouldn't go first and I would leave this world before you. I love you, Bro.