i lost my dad october 17th,2009 at 6:58 am,he had incurable lung cancer and he had months to live but less then a year,so we knew he'd pass away but just did'nt expect for it to happen that quick and the way it did,he wanted to die at home with no help from doctor's ect... we had new hope hospice and they helped us alot(mary) was the nurse she stayed with us helped us comfort him and give him morphine ect...it started on october 16th at about 10:00 am then he seemed to get a little better (his breathing) then later his breathing got worse we had to give him his oxygen that he had at home,it progressed all nite,then he kept going from the couch to his bed and he started talking to someone that we did not see and then he started singing (peace in the valley by elvis) then abot 11pm-midnite his breathing was really bad he temp and stuff kept going up and down, and he moaned alot,it all lasted till the next morning he was bleeding from the mouth a little during the nite,then at 6:58 am on october 17th,my sister heard a gargle sound come from him( i went in my room about a half hour before he died i tried to get some rest)so my sister and mom stayed with him anyways my sister heard a noise come from him and she did not hear his breathing and yelled to my mom to come in,when she went in my dad had no pulse and blood was pouring from his mouth(he choked on his own blood) my sister came and got me a few seconds later,i went down and he was laying in bed lifeless-it was the most saddess point in my life,i was not there when he passed away i was about 30 feet away(i should of been there) the tumor pushed threw my dad's asophagus and caused the bleeding and he passed on,i was by my dad's side the whole nite til about a half hour before he died,we knew his wishes was to die at home and have his funeral at home(he was cremated) yesterday and me, my mom and my sister went today to pick him up and bring him back home,it was sad but at least he is back home with us where he belongs,we were a close family(disfunctional)but still close the crying is not as often now(like evry half hour) but i still cry and then i think of his memories and feel a little better and say at least he is no longer suffering or in pain,watching your dad die is the most hardest thing to do i felt so much sorrow and hurt i felt helpless,his funeral is in 3 days at home as he wished,my mom seems to be holding up but i know she cries when she is alone,it's normal to cry when you lose a loved one,she's gonna be going to counsoling in a couple of weaks my sister is going with her,i can't i am haveing open surgery in 6 days and will be in the hospital for 2- or more days then in bed for a couple of weaks-i am haveing my ovarys and extensive scar tissue removed-but after i heal i will also be going threw counsoling. even if you know they are gonna die soon you can't prepare your self enough, ♥R.I.P DAD ♥ i will always love you and keep your memories fresh in my heart and thoughts♥♥♥♥♥ how long does grieving last? i miss him so much and feel so awful that i was not there,till seconds later after he passed,i have a hard time sleeping and can't go in my mom's bedroom with feeling more saddness and cry(she got rid of the bed he died on and got a new one but still he died in that room,when i go down stairs a part of me expect's to see him in the kitchen or on the couch where he spent most of his nites,it all seems wierd(differnt) it's to quiet here now,i feel so much pain for my mom they have been together for 47 years. i want my dad back ,but i know his pain has ended and it hurt to see him in so much pain when he was alive,i'll be doing the cancer walk next year for my dad.

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Thank you for sharing about your Dad. I lost my Dad too last year and it wasn't cancer, but ALS. I am so sorry for your loss and the loss for your mom. It sometimes hurts worse months later; even years later. You are not alone. How are you doing recently???


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