Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by John Cobb on January 11, 2010 at 12:38pm

Monica I am right with you. My Mother died unexpectantly last jan 3. It has and still is very hard for me. She was my best friend and my mother. I go around with that sick feeling in my stomach all the time. I have never lost anything in my life till this and it is the hardest thing ever! Dont try to avoid it like me. The first 4 months I blocked it out. Dont do this, grieve how you want and dont be ashamed. I still strugle every day but some days are better than others.

Permalink Reply by Lauran on January 11, 2010 at 1:20pm

Oh Monica, I am so sorry. Try to look at the things that remind you of your dad as things he loved, enjoyed.... whatever rather than allowing it to be painful. I too lived in my parents home when mom died two months ago. (Today) The first 2 weeks were the absolute worst as far as memories of mom in the house went, then a friend reminded me that mom actually left me a gift as her "touch" is everywhere in this house. I still fall apart, a LOT but I can now look around the house and see my mother in everything without falling apart.

I'll pray that this gets easier for you, the loss of your father too. I know how much you are hurting.

Hugs...

Lauran

Permalink Reply by Debbie on January 11, 2010 at 7:15pm

Monica, It sucks!! That's how my sweet little sister describes losing our mom Nov 20th. Living with your dad as you did, there is no escaping your lose and pain. I'm sure you're also concerned about your mom also. It's critical you find a way to take care of yourself now. Find a support group or someone you feel safe to talk and share your grief with. Don't beat yourself up. It doesn't make it any easier, but I keep reminding myself this is something almost everyone endures. It's the price we pay for loving someone. To give and receive love is the greatest gift of all. It's made me stronger and more compassionate. I reach out to others more; my siblings, mom's siblings, cousins even strangers. Helping others has helped me more then anything. I'm here if you need me.

Permalink Reply by Ann on January 12, 2010 at 4:43pm

If you find the secret to getting through this, please tell me. I don't know what to say, accept your feelings are real. It is going to be hard. Talk to others if you can. It helps when you have some one to listen. I believe love last forever. You love him and he loved you. That is true, that is real, and that is forever. I am litterally taking everything minute by minute. I live in the house where I was raised too. Everything makes me think of her. Just keep trying to put one foot in front of the other. I hope for the best for you. But this is going to be the hardest thing you have ever had to go through. Hang in there.

Permalink Reply by Maria on January 12, 2010 at 7:40pm

I know how you feel, my mom died 12/31/09. She was never sick, it was so sudden. She was so sick and we had no idea. We had a great Christmas and she knitted everyone socks " to remember her by" We kept telling her to stop saying that. I've lost 8 llbs in less than 2 weeks. I don't think I can do this much longer. I heat it gets better, I'm still waiting.

Permalink Reply by Monica on January 12, 2010 at 8:20pm

I want to thank everyone of you for your support and kind words. We've all gone thru the same thing and we know exactly how each one of us feel. I just want to share with you what happened to me yesterday. The night before I had a nightmare about my father and I had a real bad night. I just couldn't go back to sleep, needless to say I woke up in the middle of the night crying and scared. I really can't understand why I feel scared....I love my dad and I should be afraid but that's just how I felt. I went to work and it was my first day back after my dad passed so I was very emotional everytime someone would go into my office to give me their condolences. When the time came to go home...I just couldn't walk in the house. I knew nobody was in the house and I was just too afraid to go in. My mom was over at my sister's house babysitting so I called her and she asked me to go there and so I did. I talked to her and told her about my nightmare and she said everything would me fine and we came back to the house. When I went to bed I remember about a book I had bought some time back and it's called ORACIONES QUE LAS MUJERES ORAN (Prayers Women Pray). There are so many prayers for times like the this....you just can't imagine how much this helped me. I was able to sleep all night long and this morning I felt so much peace. I haven't cried all day long and when I came to the house this afternoon it was so much easier. I recommend this book to all of you. The authors of this book are Quin Sherrer and Ruthanne Garlock and if I'm not mistaken, I believe I bought this book at HEB. I hope this helps you like it helped me and don't get me wrong...I do miss my dad but I have to understand he's at a much better place and does not have pain or sicknesses.

Permalink Reply by Monica on January 12, 2010 at 8:36pm

For those of you who speak Spanish, these are two of the prayers I prayed last night and made me feel better....

Acompañame A Traves De Mi Dolor

Gracias, Señor, por tu precioso Espiritu Santo, que es mi consolador; acompañame a traves de mi dolor, desilusion, pena y sufrimiento. Rodeame con tu presencia y escondeme al abrigo de tus alas. Ayudame a confiar en que tu tienes una imagen mayor de las circunstancias de mi vida y poder poner a un lado mis propios objetivos cuando no salen de tu corazon. Escojo poner mis afanes, preocupaciones y desilusionen en ti, sabiendo que tu cuidas de mi. Gracias por tu consuelo.
Amen!



Mi Nube De Depresion Se Esta Levantando

Señor, gracias porque no tengo que vivir bajo una nube de depresion. Te alabo porque aun en estos momentos Tu estas obrando, restaurando el gozo de mi salvacion y sanando mi almo, mi mente, mi voluntad y mis emociones. Ayudame a mantener mis ojos fijos en mi Redentor y no en mis problemas. Que yo encuentre mi consuelo y mi sanidad en ti, Señor.
Amen!

Espero les ayude como me ah ayudado a mi. Bendiciones!
Señ

Permalink Reply by Lauran on January 13, 2010 at 11:28am

Monica, Another book you might want to read that was given to me by a friend and helped enormously is "The Other Side and Back" by Sylvia Browne. Don't be afraid to go in your house and leave yourself open to "visits" from your father, he loved you and if he chooses to visit it will bring you peace but you need to leave yourself open to the fact that he CAN visit. I've smelled my mother's perfume while out walking the dog, had a picture of her literally fall at my feet from out of my wallet which was IN my purse and she banged on the sliding glass door when I went out to smoke... yes, banged. My father was still sound asleep and "someone" banged on the slider 5 times. My mother hated smoking. If that wasn't a visit I don't know what was!

I've had nightmares about losing my mother, literally not being able to find her anywhere and I wake up in a sweat.

Anyway, try to view home as a safe haven... try to see the good things left behind by your father and by all means, pray!

I'll keep you in my prayers.
Lauran

Monica said:

For those of you who speak Spanish, these are two of the prayers I prayed last night and made me feel better....

Acompañame A Traves De Mi Dolor

Gracias, Señor, por tu precioso Espiritu Santo, que es mi consolador; acompañame a traves de mi dolor, desilusion, pena y sufrimiento. Rodeame con tu presencia y escondeme al abrigo de tus alas. Ayudame a confiar en que tu tienes una imagen mayor de las circunstancias de mi vida y poder poner a un lado mis propios objetivos cuando no salen de tu corazon. Escojo poner mis afanes, preocupaciones y desilusionen en ti, sabiendo que tu cuidas de mi. Gracias por tu consuelo.
Amen!



Mi Nube De Depresion Se Esta Levantando

Señor, gracias porque no tengo que vivir bajo una nube de depresion. Te alabo porque aun en estos momentos Tu estas obrando, restaurando el gozo de mi salvacion y sanando mi almo, mi mente, mi voluntad y mis emociones. Ayudame a mantener mis ojos fijos en mi Redentor y no en mis problemas. Que yo encuentre mi consuelo y mi sanidad en ti, Señor.
Amen!

Espero les ayude como me ah ayudado a mi. Bendiciones!
Señ

Permalink Reply by Monica on January 13, 2010 at 11:41am

Lauren;

Thank you soooo much for your reply. Everything you tell me makes sence and I believe my father HAS visited me....from day one. I just thought I was making up things but now I'm certain it is him.

Thank you soooo much!!
Lauran said:

Monica, Another book you might want to read that was given to me by a friend and helped enormously is "The Other Side and Back" by Sylvia Browne. Don't be afraid to go in your house and leave yourself open to "visits" from your father, he loved you and if he chooses to visit it will bring you peace but you need to leave yourself open to the fact that he CAN visit. I've smelled my mother's perfume while out walking the dog, had a picture of her literally fall at my feet from out of my wallet which was IN my purse and she banged on the sliding glass door when I went out to smoke... yes, banged. My father was still sound asleep and "someone" banged on the slider 5 times. My mother hated smoking. If that wasn't a visit I don't know what was!

I've had nightmares about losing my mother, literally not being able to find her anywhere and I wake up in a sweat.

Anyway, try to view home as a safe haven... try to see the good things left behind by your father and by all means, pray!

I'll keep you in my prayers.
Lauran

Monica said:

For those of you who speak Spanish, these are two of the prayers I prayed last night and made me feel better....

Acompañame A Traves De Mi Dolor

Gracias, Señor, por tu precioso Espiritu Santo, que es mi consolador; acompañame a traves de mi dolor, desilusion, pena y sufrimiento. Rodeame con tu presencia y escondeme al abrigo de tus alas. Ayudame a confiar en que tu tienes una imagen mayor de las circunstancias de mi vida y poder poner a un lado mis propios objetivos cuando no salen de tu corazon. Escojo poner mis afanes, preocupaciones y desilusionen en ti, sabiendo que tu cuidas de mi. Gracias por tu consuelo.
Amen!



Mi Nube De Depresion Se Esta Levantando

Señor, gracias porque no tengo que vivir bajo una nube de depresion. Te alabo porque aun en estos momentos Tu estas obrando, restaurando el gozo de mi salvacion y sanando mi almo, mi mente, mi voluntad y mis emociones. Ayudame a mantener mis ojos fijos en mi Redentor y no en mis problemas. Que yo encuentre mi consuelo y mi sanidad en ti, Señor.
Amen!

Espero les ayude como me ah ayudado a mi. Bendiciones!
Señ

Permalink Reply by Lauran on January 14, 2010 at 11:26am

I don't believe we make things up when they visit, I believe we are just open to the fact that they can and do. I'm not sure when the hurt and pain will stop, nor am I sure when the tears will stop, but I pray the visits never do.

Hang in there and know that your dad loved you and will always be by your side, always.

Lauran

Monica said:

Lauren;

Thank you soooo much for your reply. Everything you tell me makes sence and I believe my father HAS visited me....from day one. I just thought I was making up things but now I'm certain it is him.

Thank you soooo much!!
Lauran said:

Monica, Another book you might want to read that was given to me by a friend and helped enormously is "The Other Side and Back" by Sylvia Browne. Don't be afraid to go in your house and leave yourself open to "visits" from your father, he loved you and if he chooses to visit it will bring you peace but you need to leave yourself open to the fact that he CAN visit. I've smelled my mother's perfume while out walking the dog, had a picture of her literally fall at my feet from out of my wallet which was IN my purse and she banged on the sliding glass door when I went out to smoke... yes, banged. My father was still sound asleep and "someone" banged on the slider 5 times. My mother hated smoking. If that wasn't a visit I don't know what was!

I've had nightmares about losing my mother, literally not being able to find her anywhere and I wake up in a sweat.

Anyway, try to view home as a safe haven... try to see the good things left behind by your father and by all means, pray!

I'll keep you in my prayers.
Lauran

Monica said:

For those of you who speak Spanish, these are two of the prayers I prayed last night and made me feel better....

Acompañame A Traves De Mi Dolor

Gracias, Señor, por tu precioso Espiritu Santo, que es mi consolador; acompañame a traves de mi dolor, desilusion, pena y sufrimiento. Rodeame con tu presencia y escondeme al abrigo de tus alas. Ayudame a confiar en que tu tienes una imagen mayor de las circunstancias de mi vida y poder poner a un lado mis propios objetivos cuando no salen de tu corazon. Escojo poner mis afanes, preocupaciones y desilusionen en ti, sabiendo que tu cuidas de mi. Gracias por tu consuelo.
Amen!



Mi Nube De Depresion Se Esta Levantando

Señor, gracias porque no tengo que vivir bajo una nube de depresion. Te alabo porque aun en estos momentos Tu estas obrando, restaurando el gozo de mi salvacion y sanando mi almo, mi mente, mi voluntad y mis emociones. Ayudame a mantener mis ojos fijos en mi Redentor y no en mis problemas. Que yo encuentre mi consuelo y mi sanidad en ti, Señor.
Amen!

Espero les ayude como me ah ayudado a mi. Bendiciones!
Señ

Permalink Reply by margaret on January 14, 2010 at 11:49am

I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm 50 years old and lost both my parents when I was 17 and 18. In time with lots of prayers and faith you will get through it. My thoughts are with you it is not going to be easy.
Peggy

Permalink Reply by Melissa Chetty on January 15, 2010 at 8:43am

I know how you feel and im so sorry for your loss. You have wonderful memories that should be treasured always. Your dad will always be there in your heart. Be strong and trust that God has your dad in his keeping. May God bless you and be with you and your family during this time. My prayers are with you all

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