It seems like we are all going through the same thing. I lost my mom (dad and brother died 15 yrs ago) on Nov 18/09. I am living in guilt, at the hospital the doctors kept telling me to take her of the breathing machines as she was breathing 80% on her own, every day they would tell me to let her go, they had to resusitate her...I asked my sister what she thought we should do (I don't know why, she has never been there for my mom or me since she was diagnosed with Altzeimers 5 years ago) and she agreed with the doctor that if she was in pain (was she?) we should let her go peacefully. God help me I finally caved in and am suffereing every moment because I feel that we let her die.....I have the one sister and we have not spoken for 2 years other than hi and bye. I'm living in my mom's home - there was no will so eventually we will have to sell. My life is a mess! I don't know how to cope anymore and don't see the point of going on - I have no one and am so alone. How do you go on????