I'm new here and don't really know where else to go to get some advice. I came across this site randomly while searching the internet for help and the people here seem to be very understanding and compassionate.
I lost my Mom 10 days ago. She had spent 10 years in a long term care facility after a massive stroke. My Dad is still alive and doing well. I am married and have two children and 3 grandchildren.
The problem is, I have not had any time to just miss my Mom. From the first day my Dad expected me to take on the full load of making arrangements, filling out paperwork, tending to his needs as he is a senior and doing anything else that needed to be done. The very first day she was gone I made dinner, did the dishes and was expected to carry on as if nothing had happened. My Dad is putting constant pressure on me to get things done and he tells me he needs these things finished so "he can have some closure". Nobody seems to realize that I lost my Mom too.
My husband was kind and caring and helpful with arrangements, etc. for the first 12 hours or so and then it was back to business as usual. I feel like I am very alone. Even other family members that have never experienced the loss of a parent or loved one don't seem to understand. They say "Oh, it was for the best. She was suffering" and expect me to just suck it up and carry on. I have not had one day that I could just sit and cry. I miss my Mom terribly and I feel so sad. I put on a smile so as not to upset anyone else and I keep things to myself.
I actually had to go back to work today and I am having a really hard time concentrating or staying on task.
Can anyone help me to understand why my family and friends are just not getting it? Do they not know that I have just lost my Mom and really all I need is a little bit of compassion and maybe something nice done for me instead of me still doing for everyone else?
I am an only child so there are no siblings.
Thanks for listening.