Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jan Hoyle on April 5, 2010 at 5:22pm

Dear Abby, My Mom died (I've JUST IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS BEEN ABLE TO USE THE "D" WORD) May 8, 2006. As you said, my Mom was my everything also!! I feel so empty, depressed, lonely, and a HUGE piece of my heart is gone & it will NEVER be replaced!!!! All I know to tell you is that, YES, there are alot of us that feel just the way you do!!! The only thing is, I don't know what to say that can make it any better for you except that I care! Please use my personal email address anytime: Janrrscl@aol.com. I hope to hear from you soon. Jan Hoyle

Permalink Reply by Stacey Ussery on April 5, 2010 at 11:14pm

Abby,
Most of us feel this way. Of course you feel out of control and disjointed. You are in a horrible situation. Your body and brain are trying to make sense out of one of the worst experiences in your life. You feel like something is missing from you because something is missing. Someone integral to your well-being and sense of purpose is gone.

I lost my mom on February 3, 2010, too. She left at 8:13 am.

You are not alone. I'm sitting here at my computer feeling exactly the way you are. Numb at times. Surprised as hell (even though we knew it was coming). We are in this together. Everybody on this site is journeying down the same path. I am so sorry you hurt. Let me know if I can help.


Be patient. Take care of yourself. Find your purpose... for you have one. God created you and your mother grew and tended to you. You have a unique role here. Remember that we honor our mothers with our tears but also with our lives. Our very existence is the fruit of their labors. Our moms are so proud of us. We are going to continue to make them proud.

Permalink Reply by abby vanessa gonzales on April 6, 2010 at 12:28am

THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS YOU KNOW MY MOM PAST AN HOUR AFTER YOURS AT 9:30 AND I WATCHED HER TAKE HER LAST BREATH I WILL NEVER FOR GET THIS, AS LONG AS I LIVE HOW DO YOU COPE WITH THIS?I FIND MY SELF JUST CRYING AND THINKING OVER AND OVER WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE BETTER TO PREPARE FOR THIS,BUT IT'S LIKE YOU SAID WE KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT I GUESS NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THIS,IT'S THE WAY SHE LOOKED WHEN SHE TOOK HER LAST BREATH I FELT HELPLESS SHE LOOKED SCARED.I MISS HER SO MUCH AND I KNOW IT'S ONLY GONNA GET WORSE,HOW DO WE PREPARE OURSELVES FOR THIS? GOT ANY SUGGESTIONS? THANK YOU AGAIN. ABBY

Permalink Reply by kathy on April 6, 2010 at 8:24am

Dear Abby

First i would to say I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom just keep in mind “God is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18). What you are feeling is the healing process it's called grieving, and it shows itself in many ways. Abby we all have a purpose in life. With all the worthwhile things that we can do now, using what “gifts” or abilities you have to honor God and to help our fellowman, there is a real satisfaction in living you will find your place in life give yourself time to grieve. kathy

Permalink Reply by Lori on April 6, 2010 at 11:07am

Hi Abby,
My Mother passed away on March 11, 2010, she was 80. You are not alone in your grief Abby. Mom fell down and broke her leg on February 15 and one complication after another took on March 11 at 3:51 am. Me and my Brother and Sis were at her bedside holding hands with her, giving her love and our final words as she began her entry into Heaven to be with our Father and our Dad. Mom reached out to each one of us, told us she loved us as best she could with all the tubes in her. She was given a Blessing by our Pastor and she closed her eyes and left us. I feel just like you Abby. I can tell you that there are seven stages of the Grief Process... you can type "Grief Process" or "Grief Stages" using Google or Bing... It can take up to a year or two to begin to feel like your prior self...time does heal. For me, I have been taking it slower than usual, talking to God and praying, talking to friends and family and taking care of myself (eating good food, naps, etc). Some days are better than others. I know that life and death are natural courses and we must hold on to the good memories and try to move forward in our lives knowing that our Mother's are really in a better place, the next stage, with our God. Give yourself the time to grieve and if you need someone to talk to who is going through exactly what you, I offer you my email to talk anytime ... Blackcherryrose@gmail.com. God Bless you, Lori

Permalink Reply by andrea aguirre on April 6, 2010 at 11:49am

yes , you are embarking on one of the hardest times in your life ... I won't lie and tell you next week everything will be different because it won't .. My mom passed on 11/13/09 and the first few months I was the strong one and now I seem to be crumbling .. but I keep saying Mom would not want you to feel this way , get up and continue to live life in her memory, continue to make her proud .keep her alive by telling stories of her , and thinking about happy times , remember her i live and a not in death ...
I know a lot easier said then done , but it does work on some days ...
we can try and stay strong together ...

Permalink Reply by abby vanessa gonzales on April 7, 2010 at 3:11am

Maribel said:

Dear Abby, I am very sorry for your loss. It is very hard Abby you have to be strong. I felt something similar but literally thanks to God i feel better now, I looked for answers in the Bible and I found them and knowing them you feel so much bettter, you understand what is the condition of the dead, where are they now and what are they doing, also that one day Jesus will call them and they will raise. Knowing the truth from a reliable source about the things that cause us distress gave us peace of mind, try to set apart 15 minutes or even 10 minutes to read the word of God, it will benefit you forever. If you need me to tell you where did i find the answers of this questions let me know, so i can give you the scriptures where you can look them up.

Permalink Reply by abby vanessa gonzales on April 7, 2010 at 3:20am

i would love those scriptures Maribel thank you so much for replying to my story you know i find it very hard now to focus on one thing,I've tried over and over to pick up my bible,but not just the bible but any thing that i have to read and i can't focus,did you go through this too or is it just me?again i thank you for your kind words. my email:abbyrubyalways@hotmail.com

Maribel said:

Dear Abby, I am very sorry for your loss. It is very hard Abby you have to be strong. I felt something similar but literally thanks to God i feel better now, I looked for answers in the Bible and I found them and knowing them you feel so much bettter, you understand what is the condition of the dead, where are they now and what are they doing, also that one day Jesus will call them and they will raise. Knowing the truth from a reliable source about the things that cause us distress gave us peace of mind, try to set apart 15 minutes or even 10 minutes to read the word of God, it will benefit you forever. If you need me to tell you where did i find the answers of this questions let me know, so i can give you the scriptures where you can look them up.

Permalink Reply by Belinda Rhodes on April 7, 2010 at 10:04am

Maribel, I would love to have some of your favorite Bible Verses that have helped you through the Bible. Please forward them to me....if you could.....Belinda Rhodes
carrugs@aol.com

abby vanessa gonzales said:

i would love those scriptures Maribel thank you so much for replying to my story you know i find it very hard now to focus on one thing,I've tried over and over to pick up my bible,but not just the bible but any thing that i have to read and i can't focus,did you go through this too or is it just me?again i thank you for your kind words. my email:abbyrubyalways@hotmail.com

Maribel said:

Dear Abby, I am very sorry for your loss. It is very hard Abby you have to be strong. I felt something similar but literally thanks to God i feel better now, I looked for answers in the Bible and I found them and knowing them you feel so much bettter, you understand what is the condition of the dead, where are they now and what are they doing, also that one day Jesus will call them and they will raise. Knowing the truth from a reliable source about the things that cause us distress gave us peace of mind, try to set apart 15 minutes or even 10 minutes to read the word of God, it will benefit you forever. If you need me to tell you where did i find the answers of this questions let me know, so i can give you the scriptures where you can look them up.

Permalink Reply by re on April 9, 2010 at 4:35pm

The loss of a loved one can be very difficult. One of the things that has help some people to cope with the death of a loved is by turning to God for help. One of the things that he promises to do in the near future is found in the Bible book of John 5:28,29 where it says "Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out...." These verses is helping us to see that God promises that he will resurrect those who had died in the past. Just think you have that hope of seeing your mother alive again and have that close bond you two once had. This is not no mere fantasy or dream, how do we know this will come true? Well there are different accounts in the Bible that people had died an they had gotten resurrected from the dead. Those who had died in the past and where resurrected where just a preview of what God has in stored for the near future. Also in the Bible book of Revelation 21:4 it states "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." This verse helps us to see that God will bring about a time when not only will those dead be resurrected but nobody will have to worry about dying anymore, death will be a thing of the pass. What a wonderful hope for the future. But until that time comes Jehovah God encourages us to pray to him as brought out in 1Peter 5:7 where it states "while YOU throw all YOUR anxiety upon him, because he cares for YOU." This verse helps us to see that God does care about you and he wants you to pray to him with your anxieties. What happens when we do this? Well in the book of Philippians 4:6,7 it tells us it states "Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and mental powers by means of Christ Jesus." Even though you maybe afraid to sleep at night, this verse help you to see that you can go to Jehovah God in prayer and he will give you peace to help you cope with the loss of your mother. These are some of the blessings and there are many more as brought out in the Bible. If you want to learn more feel free to ask any Jehovah Witnesses in your area or you can message me.