Tommorw, Wednesday May 18 is my birthday.  I am actually dreading it.  My mom always made my birthday so special.  She and I love birthday cake so she would always make sure I had a cake.  Then we would normally go out to eat and celebrate together.  I just can't imagine not having her here to celebrate with me.  It is actually my 40th, so kinda of a milestone so to speak of.  Not to have her here for this milestone is very sad to me.  I really would rather not even celebrate the day at all.  How do I have my first milestone birthday without her here by my side?  I pray that God will give me the peace I need to get through the day and allow me to feel her with me all day.  I am thankful she choose to give me life 40 years ago.  I feel like she is the one who needs celebrating, not me.  Thank you God for allowing her to have me and for her to give me a wonderful life.  Thank you God for my WONDERFUL MOMMA.  Please give her a specail hug from me today and kiss her on her cheek.  I love you and miss you more then ever MOMMA.  I will eat a piece of cake for her today.