Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Liria on September 10, 2010 at 1:15am

I know exactly how you feel. My mom passed away jan 23 2009 and it still doesn't feel real. She was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in October and within 3 and a half months she was gone. I miss her so much. I cried everyday when she was sick but when she passed I couldn't shed a tear. She always told me not to cry as it brings her pain.I thought well its not real and she will be back. I was numb for a while always imagining that she is with me and that she would never leave me. At the funeral I couldn't shed a tear. It was unbearable going to her grave. My brother tells me the problem is that I am not accepting it and that I have to let her rest in peace. Sometimes life is unbearable and I cry when I think that she is gone. Its just starting to hit me.Acceptance is a hard thing. I am not willing to accept it yet. I lost my dad 19 years ago. I only have one brother,hes married with kids and I'm 37 single and not working so I am having a hard time as I cant stop thinking about her. I think we are not accepting it because its just too painful.

Permalink Reply by jac on September 10, 2010 at 7:53am

My mom died suddenly and unexpectedly in November 2009. Even now as we come closer to the 1 year anniversary it doesn't feel real, so I don't kow what to tell you. Sometimes I feel like I think of her more now than I did when she was alive. I often think-"Need to tell mom about this" even when in reality its something she would not have been interested in! I have found that as I got through all the "firsts" (first birthday, first mother's day, etc) I am doing better. But the thing is, when I see a picture of her its like a fist slams in to my heart and it seems like she is still (or at least SHOULD BE) alive. Everyone I have talked to says that even after years and years, its still painful. The only difference is the pain becomes bearable.

Permalink Reply by Lisa on September 10, 2010 at 3:14pm

YEs!!! I think your feelings are normal!. My mom passed December 2, 2009. She was my very best friend and confidant. She lived our home for the last 2 years of her life. She was always the first person I wanted to tell something to. Even now, months later, I find myself going to her room to tell her a bit of news or family gossip, only to be greeted by the site of her empty hospital bed. My two 1/2 year old who was only 18 months when her Grandma died, will even go to her room, crawl up on the bed and ask me "where's Grandma." She's a baby, yet she remembers! Give your self time. Grieve the way you think you should grieve. I don't think it will ever really feel real for me. She was my mom for 42 years. The one person who I knew loved me NO MATTER WHAT! You just don't get over that in a few months!
Love and Prayers,
Lisa

Permalink Reply by amy garrett on September 10, 2010 at 11:16pm

hi my name is amy my dad passed away sat may 1st of this year from cancer and i miss him very much every day it sill does not seem like my dad is gone it it wrong that i cant bring myself to watch his funeral cd that we made or look at pitures of him yet it just makes my heart ach and i start to cry

Permalink Reply by jac on September 11, 2010 at 1:35pm

Amy, Its too soon, sweetie. My mom has been gone 10 months and I can barely look at her picture without getting tears in my eyes. We all grieve in our own ways and at our own pace, but I don't think what you are feeling is odd at all. Its not wrong to still feel such overwhelming pain. Don't even worry about being wrong about your grief, ok? I still cry for my mom at night. A cliche, I know, but it will/ get better in time. It won't go away,but it will get better. I know it doesn't freel like it now, but trust me.