Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by dale rachel howard on January 4, 2011 at 8:48am

so true,          tiem does seem to fly, I had the same experiance

Permalink Reply by DeeAnne Hedrick on January 6, 2011 at 12:19am

Yes, I go through it...I just lost mom on January 2nd of this year...her memorial was yesterday( the 5th). I went to the grocery store yesterday and started picking up everything that she would like...caught myself about 3/4 down the aisle each time. Towards the end before she passed I was texting my younger brother each day checking on her. I've caught myself tempted to text asking him how many glasses of water she had drank. Sweetie, I'm going through it too...if you'd like you can e-mail me at deeanne.hedrick@comcast.net . Apparently, what we are going thorugh is quite normal...Thank God!

Permalink Reply by Peggy Hill on January 6, 2011 at 2:23am

It's been 7 months since I lost my mom and I still want to call her.  We always talked at least once a day before she got sick and every time any thing happens in my life, she's the first one I want to call.  Then it takes your breath away when you remember you can't tell her.  My mom had 90 years but the last two she wasn't well and her mind was bad.  Sometimes she didn't know us but you could always tell that she really liked us.  I know my mom wouldn't have wanted to live the way she did for the past two years and in my mind, I know she's better but it sure is hard getting the heart to understand.

Permalink Reply by DeeAnne Hedrick on January 6, 2011 at 10:11am

Peggy, if she was saved, one thing to always remember, she's looking down with her shining smile within her spirit watching over you. In her own special way she's seeing what you are going through. I realize that your loss took place before mine;however, the pain seems to be the same in so many ways. I'm so glad that I joined this group, I feel this is going to be a very rewarding experience for us. I put my mothers picture on the computer for the background when she passed, her smiling face brings comfort to my day. When I get up in the morning, I say,If your spirit hears me mom...Good Morning(or Good Night)....even if it is something special that has happened during the day...Mom did your spirit see that? I've been thinking of keeping a notebookof my memories that I shared with her. Another thing that has helped is Joshua 1:9. 

Peggy Hill said:

It's been 7 months since I lost my mom and I still want to call her.  We always talked at least once a day before she got sick and every time any thing happens in my life, she's the first one I want to call.  Then it takes your breath away when you remember you can't tell her.  My mom had 90 years but the last two she wasn't well and her mind was bad.  Sometimes she didn't know us but you could always tell that she really liked us.  I know my mom wouldn't have wanted to live the way she did for the past two years and in my mind, I know she's better but it sure is hard getting the heart to understand.

Permalink Reply by Peggy Hill on January 6, 2011 at 10:21am

Hi Deeanne.  Thank you so much for your reply.  I have no doubt whatsoever that my mom is in heaven.  She was a very good lady and taught us all to believe in God.  That comforts me a great deal to know she is there with my dad and my grandparents.  She talked about seeing them a lot before she died.  I truly believe that at times she was seeing them.  I'm so sorry for your loss and with it just happening, I know exactly how much it hurts.  You're in my heart and in my prayers.

Permalink Reply by chain villareal on January 7, 2011 at 10:00am

hello i lost my mom oct 31 2010 she was 50 we were in a bad car accident i only wish i had her voice to hear again im so depressed i just wanna hear her voice again im 30 years old and i feel the same way u do i just want her back i wanted to go with her

Permalink Reply by chain villareal on January 7, 2011 at 10:00am

hello i lost my mom oct 31 2010 she was 50 we were in a bad car accident i only wish i had her voice to hear again im so depressed i just wanna hear her voice again im 30 years old and i feel the same way u do i just want her back i wanted to go with her

Permalink Reply by Peggy Hill on January 7, 2011 at 11:08am

When it happens so suddenly like an accident you not only have to deal with the grief but with the shock too.  Try to think of happy memories with your parents and things will slowly get a little better.  The hurt and the loss is still there but it's not as acute.  I did have a good experience the other night.  I dreamed that I called my mom on the phone, as I did everyday when she was alive and we had a wonderful conversation.  The words were so familiar and she told me she was fine and that she loved me just as she had told me so many times before.  It brought me comfort and great memories.

JP said:

I'm so sorry you are experiencing so much hurt right now chain villareal.  I have been down in the depths of despair myself after losing my mom and stepdad in an accident.  It is a very real experience to feel that way and it's part of grieving.  Please know that there are so many of us who wake up and go to bed with similar feelings... in between we find the small pockets of tenderness and relief which come from friends, a flower, a nice word said to you, and with each day, the list of moments of tenderness grow.  Please watch your soul turn towards healing instead of towards despair.   --jamie

chain villareal said:

hello i lost my mom oct 31 2010 she was 50 we were in a bad car accident i only wish i had her voice to hear again im so depressed i just wanna hear her voice again im 30 years old and i feel the same way u do i just want her back i wanted to go with her

Permalink Reply by Suzanne on January 8, 2011 at 4:28pm

Yes we absolutely all go through this. My sister and I talk about this all the time. Our Mom passed away a year ago Christmas Eve. We also talk about how we will be doing something at home and think to ourselves, "gee after I finish doing this I am going to call Mom". I don't think this ever leaves you. We experienced the super-market thing too. So many emotions. What is so comforting is we all seem to feel so similarly. And that is certainly O.K. We will all always miss them, and what is also very important is taking the time we each need to go through this process. I know what you mean about just wanting her back...

 

Suzanne

Permalink Reply by Helena on January 8, 2011 at 5:26pm

I am Suzanne's sister (that just posted above), and yes, we all feel so many of the same things. We lost our Mom 1 year ago on Christmas Eve, and it still doesn't seem real. Last Christmas I was completely numb, so this was really, in many ways, my first true Christmas without my Mom, and there were moments so bad they hurt, deep inside. The realization that I cannot pick up the phone and hear her voice ever again...that I cannot hear her call me by her nickname for me - it's just too painful.

She was my best friend, but she was also all the things a Mom should be. She was supportive, loving, generous, funny, and I miss every single thing about her. My Dad is still with us, and lives in my childhood home, the home he shared with her for over 40 years. Going over there (which I must do often to help out my elderly Dad) is so extremely painful, because of all the memories. When you lose your Mom, you lose so much. Really, she takes a part of you with her. She takes so many of your memories...the memories of you as a baby and a child that only she had. She takes your security with her, the security of knowing you are loved unconditionally, no matter what. She takes your "home" with her, because no matter where I have lived throughout my life, I always knew I had a home wherever she was. And I feel like an orphan now.

"Dottie's Daughter" I understand exactly why you listen to your Mom's voice on the answering machine. I would give anything to hear my Mom's voice again.

Helena

Permalink Reply by Peggy Hill on January 8, 2011 at 8:36pm

I remember recommending Mom keep a Journal when my dad died and I bought her one.  She said it really helped a great deal.

Peggy Hill said:

Hi Deeanne.  Thank you so much for your reply.  I have no doubt whatsoever that my mom is in heaven.  She was a very good lady and taught us all to believe in God.  That comforts me a great deal to know she is there with my dad and my grandparents.  She talked about seeing them a lot before she died.  I truly believe that at times she was seeing them.  I'm so sorry for your loss and with it just happening, I know exactly how much it hurts.  You're in my heart and in my prayers.