I lost both of my parents on December 6th, 2014 at 2:30 A.M. They died on the scene. They were on their way back from my band event which was 2 hours from home. It was raining really hard and they hydroplaned and went off the road and crashed into a tree, killing them both on impact. I am from a family of 7, being the youngest of my siblings at 17. I still cannot believe they are gone. It hurts so much to think that they are never coming back. It is so easy to be filled with emptiness. It is so hard to concentrate on school work and be optimistic about my future now. Everyday without them feels wrong. I don't feel like I will have feel at home ever again. I never expected to lose them so soon and it is really hard to fathom that they will never experience so many things with me. I mourn them greatly. Sometimes I feel that I will never be able to move past this. My grief counselor says it gets easier to handle, but it never goes away. Both of my parents were very optimistic and loving people. They were always there to encourage and support me. My mom came to every single band event I had--whether it was a band concert or a marching band performance (regardless of weather). It is hard to believe she will never be at another game to see me march. I wish they could come back, even if just for a day. I long for dreams of them, because I know that is the only way I can see them right now. I worry I never truly got to know my parents as adults, and this makes it really hard to be optimistic. I thought I had more time with them. I figured I would atleast have them around to come to my wedding and meet my first born child and see my graduate high school and college. But they are gone. Within seconds, they just left. It was their time to be with God. I know they are happy and at peace, but I almost wish I still had them, regardless of how selfish that may be.

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I am so sorry for your loss. This has to be one of the hardest things you are having to deal with. I lost my mom when I was 17 and I totally get the dream thing. It was weird because when I would dream of her I would be aware that it was a dream and I only had a short amount of time to spend with her. I would try to ask her for life advice but she never talked and she was unaware that she had passed away. It's very hard and each year is different in terms of emotions. I cannot imagine losing both parents. You must have a special support system with your siblings. If I were you I would write down my memories and feelings. This is something I didn't do before and it seems like some of my memories have fled from me. It will definitely be an up hill challenge but you can definitely endure. You seem like a religious person so definitely turn to the God of comfort to help you. I have always longed for this scripture to come true, and soon it will: Isaiah 25:8 where it says God will swallow up death forever and will wipe the tears from their faces. Know you are not alone Shirley!!


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