does it get any easier as the time passes, yesterday was 2 years since my dad passed away, and the worst part is i actually found him haveing a heart attack. yea i tried giving him mouth to mouth, but by time the ambalance got there i knew it was too late. and that all i see when i think of him, him just dying right in front of me and nothin i can do to help. no matter what ik i'll never get that picture out of my head......

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I didn't see my dad die, maybe it was for the best.

You were there......you were there with your Dad and that is what you should remember.  He was not alone - he felt the comfort of your touch, your arms and your love for him.  No, you may never get that picture out of your mind - but I know that out of love you tried everything to revive him - trust in God and believe he will help you remember the most cherished moments with your Dad (Proverbs 3:5,6).

My Dad died after many month watching his health deteriorate --- I tend to think of the better times when he was the strong protective Dad with all of the words of wisdom - the better days brings a big smile to my face.  Just try holding on to some of the most beautiful moments you shared with your Dad.  You did everything in your power to save him.,,,and the most loving things you did was to try to revive him and during that time he did not feel alone.  OK

 

You were there......you were there with your Dad and that is what you should remember.  He was not alone - he felt the comfort of your touch, your arms and your love for him.  No, you may never get that picture out of your mind - but I know that out of love you tried everything to revive him - trust in God and believe he will help you remember the most cherished moments with your Dad (Proverbs 3:5,6).

My Dad died after many month watching his health deteriorate --- I tend to think of the better times when he was the strong protective Dad with all of the words of wisdom - the better days brings a big smile to my face.  Just try holding on to some of the most beautiful moments you shared with your Dad.  You did everything in your power to save him.,,,and the most loving things you did was to try to revive him and during that time he did not feel alone.  OK

 

My mother passed away on Dec. 15, 2010.  She had parkinson's disease and her ability to swallow dimished until she aspirated and developed pneumonia.  She was clear about her desire to never be on a feeding tube and even expressed that in a living will.  Since she couldn't swallow, and we would not go against her wishes and put  her on a feeding tube, she wasted away slowly.  She was in our (my sister and myself) arms when she took her last breath.  That image plays over and over in my head.  But I had an opportunity to say good-bye.  I told her she was forgiven for the times when she wasn't a terrific mother and I apologized and asked for forgiveness for the times when I wasn't a loving daughter.  If I had put her to bed and simply found her gone when I went to get her up the next day, those feelings would have been left unsaid.  So as bad as it was to be present at her death, it was better than her passing away alone.
My mother passed away on Dec. 15, 2010.  She had parkinson's disease and her ability to swallow dimished until she aspirated and developed pneumonia.  She was clear about her desire to never be on a feeding tube and even expressed that in a living will.  Since she couldn't swallow, and we would not go against her wishes and put  her on a feeding tube, she wasted away slowly.  She was in our (my sister and myself) arms when she took her last breath.  That image plays over and over in my head.  But I had an opportunity to say good-bye.  I told her she was forgiven for the times when she wasn't a terrific mother and I apologized and asked for forgiveness for the times when I wasn't a loving daughter.  If I had put her to bed and simply found her gone when I went to get her up the next day, those feelings would have been left unsaid.  So as bad as it was to be present at her death, it was better than her passing away alone.
I lost both my parents in a fairly short time. I was living in Va. when my mother passed. I got a phone call that said come home, but didn't make it in time. She passed while I was waiting for my flight home. She passed the day after Mother's Day in 2009. I have kicked my self many times, many days for not being there for her. Luckily she had family and my father with her when she transitioned. My father passed away in January 2010. I was there for him. I moved back home in August of 2009 to take care of him, but he was diagnosed with Advanced Kidney Cancer in October of the same year. It was hard the last few days of his life to watch him go. Hospice came in on a Saturday and he was gone by the following Wednesday. The hospice nurse happened to be here when he started "actively dying" as she wrote in her notes. My oldest brother, a niece and a nephew was here with me and when the nurse told us, "it's starting", we were surrounding him. My nephew who is a preacher led us in the Lord's prayer and he read Psalm 23. Each of us was able to say our goodbyes. My brother was at his feet, my nephew at his head, my niece and I each holding a hand. When it was my turn to say goodbye, I simply told my Dad, it's ok to go, get your rest. In that moment he passed. I received a wonderful sympathy card from the caregivers from hospice saying that it isn't often they get to see a patient transition from life to death as peacefully as he did, and what a wonderful thing it was that he was not alone. The hardest part for me that day was watch the funeral director come to get my dad. That's what I remember the most. That final look as he lay peacefully in his bed, and they came to take him away from me. I often wonder had I come home sooner would the outcome have been different. Not being with my mother as she died has left a big hole in my heart that will never be fixed. I feel I let her down. Being with my father as he passed helped "me", in knowing I did what I could. I realized the fear and anxiety of watching someone experiencing a heart attack is a far cry from counting the minutes once they give a time factor. But you WERE there and he knew he was not alone. Take heart in knowing you did the best you could and gave it your all. Hoping you find comfort in your sorrow and grief knowing that your dad was greeted at the golden gate by Jesus who hugged him and welcomed him home.

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