Thought I'd get a talk started. As you know I lost my eldest sister Theresa in October and tomorrow (Feb 15th) would have been my first born's 31st birthday. I'm putting on a great front but it's a facade, an illusion. If I allow myself to deal with Theresa's death then it becomes real and final, I can no longer pretend it's a dream from which I'll awake. That is the truth of how I'm actually NOT dealing at all with her death. As for Patrick, I've never faced his loss and bury it deep within my heart for all but a few days in February, the 15th, the 22nd and the 24th. My heart screams that he isn't dead, crazy but true. (Things have recently come to light to support this and will discuss further later). Sorry I'm rambling but this is very difficult to admit. I'm less than an hour away from Patrick's birthday and less than four months ago I watched my sister die. In these cases my way of dealing has become not to deal with it at all. I created this in the hopes I'll find out I'm not alone, or worse........insane. It is my deepest wish to find peace, ways to grieve, move on and help others do the same with love, understanding and support.
K

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Well my Mom called me at work this morning to tell me that my Aunt had passed away....I just can't believe it and I am in shock but the worst thing is that i can't even cry because I am the only one at work so I have to paint on a smile like nothing is going on and suffer in silence but inside I'm melting.... All I keep thinking about is how close we all were when I was growing up...We moved away from England about 17 years ago ..She stopped talking to my mom at some point but no one ever knew why..but all the more we are just devastated I can barely breath because I'm so hurt .Tomorrow ( Feb.16) was her Birthday she would have been 63 yrs. I really don't know what else to say or do I'm still in disbelief. I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss how do you cope? Does time really heal? I was married 15 years ago and charles took his own life he was 24 years old and I dont think that I really grieved because we were divorced at that point so I always keep people at arms length even Family because I couldnt bare to lose someone close to my heart again and now It's just smacked me right in the face..I'm sure I'm not making sense at this moment but I'm still in disbelief and I have to let all this out..... Any advise .....for the broken hearted....

kim
Dearest Kim,
Please accept my deepest empathy on your loss. I mean that with all my heart. You are not alone, try to remember that. Each person reacts differently to the loss of a loved one, so there is no right or wrong as to how you feel, it simply is. My best advice is to take a few days (if possible) just for yourself and surround yourself with things that remind you of your beloved Aunt. The tears will come in their own time. Right now you are in shock and your emotions will be on a rollercoaster for a while, but with tears comes a certain amount of healing, we never fully heal since we never forget the one lost to us in this life, but we do in time, learn to cope and move on. I wish it's weren't true, but it is. At least that is MY experience. Birthdays, anniversaries of the days our loved ones passed will be difficult, but you'll make it for the simple fact you are not alone. Everyone here understands and we all wish we could take your pain. You asked how I've made it, by taking each day as it comes. It does seem I've had more than my fair hare of loss, my father passed when I was only 6, my grandmother when I was 14, three classmates between my ages of 9 and 16, my first born child, my daughter's first born child, my mother, my dearest friend, aunts, uncles, cousins, all gone but an older sister on my father's side. (Who just last week lost her mother, a woman I loved too). Each loss is different since each person we lose is different. Just take things one day at a time, do your best to get to the next day and eventually one day you'll find the loss no longer controls your every thought and action. You'll never forget, but good memories always help, they never fail to ease the loss. God bless you now and forever, I and others like me are here for you to lean on, to listen to you and offer what comfort we can. For now, cry darling, cry. Tears are the first step to finding peace.
With A Warm Loving Hug,
Katharn
I JUST READ YOUR STATEMENT ABOUT THE LOSS OF SOMEONE. I LOST MY HUSBAND ON 3/1/09 IT WAS THE WORSE THING I COULD POSSIBLY GO THRU. I STILL AM NOT COPING WITH THIS. I CRY ALMOST EVERYDAY ANYTIME I SAY HIS NAME I CRY I GO HOME AND TALK TO HIM QUESTIONING WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME THIS WAY.IT WILL BE 1 YEAR THIS COMING MONDAY 3/1/10 I AM TAKING OFF WORK BECAUSE I WOULD BE NO GOOD TO ANYONE THERE. I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE (MY WISHES) I ALSO WANT TO GO THE CEMENTARY. TODAY I PUT A MEMORIAL IN THE PAPER FOR 3./1/10 WHICH TOLD MY HUSBAND OF 35 YEARS (WOULD HAVE BEEN 7/27/09) HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO ME. I KNOW HE ALREADY KNOWS BUT JUST TO REMIND HIM I MISS HIM SO MUCH. I AM NOW CRYING WAS I AM WRITING THIS I AM TRYING TO BE STRONG BUT IT IS SO HARD. I WENT TO SEE A THERPIST BECAUSE I COULD NOT HANDLE THIS. ALL I DO IS GO TO WORK, COME HOME WATCH TV TALK TO HIM LOOK AT HIS PICTURE IN MY CELL PHONE AND JUST WANT TO SLEEP. THIS IS A SIGN A DEPRESSION AND I AM TRYING TO GET OUT OF IT. BELIEVE ME I AM TRYING PLEASE PRAY FOR ME THAT THE HURT STOPS HURTING
Dearest Kathy,
I am from the depths of my heart so very sorry for your loss and I will pray for you. They say that time heals all wounds but I don't believe that to be true. My husband and I will be wed 30 years this August, I can not begin to imagine living without him. Please stay in therapy, it can help you learn to face each day without so much emptiness. God Bless you now and always, feel free to write me personally if you like at
( poetry_n_motion62@yahoo.com ) with 'GRIEF' as the subject. I'll try to help all I can.
Gentle Hugs,
Katharn

Hello, Im sorry to hear about your loss. It is always sad when a loved one dies. it is an unfortunate occurrence for all of mankind that eventually touches us all. Did you know that In God's Word the Bible, it mentions that even Jesus himself experienced the death of a loved one?

In John 11:34-37 it mentions that upon hearing that his dear friend Lazarus had passed away, " Jesus gave way to tears." Jesus upon hearing this, through God's Holy Spirit, then proceeded to resurrect Lazarus from the dead. (John 11:38-44)

It is very comforting to know that God promises through his word the Bible than an even larger resurrection will take place, where all who have died will be resurrected to a paradise here on earth. (John 5:28,29)

It is my hope that these encouraging words from the Bible give you hope in seeing your loved one again here on earth.

May you and your family always be in good heath and spirits.

kim

i know what you mean what you are going threw my aunt past to in june this yerar i miss her i have the same questions to.i do beive that the sprits can tuch you and you can feel them tuching you
 
KIM said:

Well my Mom called me at work this morning to tell me that my Aunt had passed away....I just can't believe it and I am in shock but the worst thing is that i can't even cry because I am the only one at work so I have to paint on a smile like nothing is going on and suffer in silence but inside I'm melting.... All I keep thinking about is how close we all were when I was growing up...We moved away from England about 17 years ago ..She stopped talking to my mom at some point but no one ever knew why..but all the more we are just devastated I can barely breath because I'm so hurt .Tomorrow ( Feb.16) was her Birthday she would have been 63 yrs. I really don't know what else to say or do I'm still in disbelief. I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss how do you cope? Does time really heal? I was married 15 years ago and charles took his own life he was 24 years old and I dont think that I really grieved because we were divorced at that point so I always keep people at arms length even Family because I couldnt bare to lose someone close to my heart again and now It's just smacked me right in the face..I'm sure I'm not making sense at this moment but I'm still in disbelief and I have to let all this out..... Any advise .....for the broken hearted....

kim

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