Sudden Loss of a loved one

Anyone who has lost a family member suddenly, or who has lost someone close where the cause of death remains a mystery

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The sudden loss of a loved one.

Started by joann idlebird. Last reply by Gail Gaines Mar 29, 2014. 8 Replies

Can't wake up from this night mare

Started by Cecilia Maxwell. Last reply by Tanya Griffin Oct 16, 2013. 1 Reply

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Comment by melissa Jackson altmyer on April 11, 2013 at 7:33pm
Hello to all of you who have joined my group over past couple years. I haven't been on this site for a year, so I wanted to update my site, and share some thoughts with you all.

First off, my condolences to all of you who have suddenly lost a loved one(s). You have my empathy, and support. I've recently read some of your posts, and I am sorry for your losses. I deeply feel for all of you.

As for me, it's been nearly 5 years since my father suddenly passed away, yet it still seems like yesterday. I feel as though I have never really recovered because there was no closure. Although I'm still trudging along, I think about him often. Lately, I think of him a lot. My daughter just turned 5, and she was his first grandchild he never got to meet. She was 8 months old when he died. He was planning a visit out to meet her 1 month after he passed ( he lived in Connecticut and I lived in Arizona). Sadly, he never got the chance to meet her, and he was so excited. He now has a grandson ( my son who is 21 months). I picture them playing baseball together and going camping. I tear up when I think of the many things he was looking forward to doing with them.

Since he passed away on Christmas Eve in 2008, I was unable to see him since he was on the other side of the country. My younger sister had to had to identify him, and then he was cremated as were his wishes.

I flew out as soon as I could, but it was a couple months later since I had a baby, and no money. I went to the small, attractive beach in New London, Ct. Where police found him face down in the sand. I put 2 dozen roses and a card in the spot where they found him.

Now, 4 1/2 years later, I am trying to get on with my life, but I still feel a large void in my life. My dad made me feel happy. He was a fun, charismatic person who many people admired. He loved life and had a passion for the outdoors. He was excited to be a father to my sister and I, and couldn't wait to share his passion for life with his grandchildren.

Although, the pain isn't fresh anymore, it still exists. I don't think it will ever leave. It may get a little easier with time, but I still feel grief stricken on many occasions. When I go to a place we loved, or hear a song that reminds me of him, I feel terrible again.

Losing someone without warning is very very difficult. I feel for all of you who have had to go through what I did. Just know that our loved ones are watching over us. I know dad wouldn't want me to be sad over his death everyday. I tell my daughter all about him now that she is 5 years old. She is intrigued and wishes she could play with him. I wish so much I could watch him play with my children too.

I know it hard. But hang in their friends. Supporting one another is vital to recovery. I hope my forum has helped some of you to feel a little better. Know you are never alone!

Love, Melissa
Comment by Mark Manning on January 2, 2013 at 7:43am

Comment by Sabrina Ferraioli on March 26, 2012 at 3:11pm

Dearest Jillian, i dont even know where to begin to help numb some of your pain - i am so very sorry for your losses. One is tragic, but to have to endur what you have is unbelievable and cruel. I want to tell you it gets better - but the truth is - i dont know that it does. There is not one day that goes by that i dont wish and long for the love of my life - my best friend. I have been angry and depressed for 6 months now. All i can say is that you have to beleive in you - that there is a reason why you are still here. You have to be strong and have courage when hope is the very last thing you can find. You will have bad days, filled with dispair, but hopefully slowly you will start to have days with a grin...a small smile...hope. keep your family and friends close. Try to not be alone. Take one day at a time. I wish you the best, and hope that you will find some peace and serenity. Hugs. Sabrina

Comment by Jillian muncy on March 23, 2012 at 5:32am
My dad was killed from a hit and run. He was put in icu, then the dr. told us he was braindead. My dad was everything to me. After his funeral I went home to my fiancé. my love became suddenly ill and died from pneumonia 5 days later. I found out I was pregnant 3 days later and heard the heartbeat of our baby for the first and last time. I miscarried from all the stress, now I'm just trying to find a way to live but I'm so lost and I feel so much like giving up. Any advice I can get is helpful, I am so broken and diminished I don't know where to go from here.
Comment by Nicole Anastasio on February 22, 2012 at 9:48pm

I miss Tim so badly. I had a very scary day, I don't understand how am I supposed to live on when the most healthy and fit person I have ever met just dropped dead and there is no reason why this happened to him!

Comment by Holly R on July 28, 2011 at 3:23am
I lost my dad to a choking accident a month ago. I am so angry/sad that he had to die this way. I just can't believe this can be someone's destiny. Now I just miss my dad so very much. We had to take him off life support which was the worst decision I've ever had to make. I'm only 25 and way too young to lose my parent.
Comment by Heather Knight Morris on April 14, 2011 at 4:28am
As I read others' comments, I see words that reflect a lot of what I feel.  I lost my brother not quite 4 weeks ago.  He died of a heart attack.  No previous heart history prior to his death.  He was 39.  I am still in shock I think.  Their is an empty feeling that I can't seem to describe.  He was my only sibling.
Comment by Tim's Mom, Vickie on March 6, 2011 at 5:57pm

My son passed 4 days after we moved into our new home. He overdosed on drugs and my youngest son found him in his new bedroom. It's almost 2 years, and I just started weeding through his belongings, he didn't even get a chance to unpack. His toiletries are still on the dresser in a box, I can't bear to touch his bedding.

  The police have been no help, in spite of his friends telling them who gave him the drugs, the person is still walking the streets selling it to other young people.

  It took 3 months to find out why he died, the medical examiner went on vacation and her office wouldn't release the results until she came back.  I finally got her on the phone and her answer was, "he was full of da drugs." He wasn't an addict, it was his first time.

  We've had no closure, no answers, and it is just so frustrating. I owe it to him to make that woman pay for giving him the drugs. My biggest fear is that she costs the life of someone else's son or daughter.

Comment by Jackie Jones on March 5, 2011 at 2:47am

my son died unexpectedly January 29th while spending the night at a friends house.  He had been 18 barely a week.   i am still waiting for the autopsy results to give me the answers on exactly why.  they think it was an accidental overdose of prescription medication.

Comment by Peter on March 2, 2011 at 11:16am
Crying can absolutely make a difference. If you need to cry you must cry. I know when we lost our first boy while my wife was still here I held in a lot and that was wrong. When our second son passed away everything came back to the surface but now I was dealing with the grief of both losses. I was told if a person tries to bury an emotion it will come out somewhere else at another time. Now that my wife Kandy has passed I must let my feeling flow when they arise. It is a big part of the healing process.

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