I feel like I am going crazy...

Hi I dont know how this works. I thought I would give it a try. My name is Jessie. On July 3, my husband and I went to go see my uncle and have dinner with him, maybe shoot some pool. He didnt answer. With being in contact with the family I called 911, they got police over to his house. I cant get the police offer out of my head telling me that they found him, hanging in his garage. He was my Uncle and my friend. I didnt find out until Fri July 9 (the day of his funeral) that he had been there a week until I got there. I am trying to be strong for my family. I try and not cry around them, because I know that they need me to be there, but I feel like I am losing it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!??! I cant sleep, I am crying one min, than mader than heck the next. He might have been my uncle, but he was my friend. He has been in my life when i was a child to now that I am in my 20's. I think he was the one person that I have been out drinking with now that I am legally able to drink. I dont know what to say anymore, I dont know what to do. I thought it would all go away after the funeral, but I am beginning to feel worse...sorry i guess i just needed to vent somewhere...thank you for at least not getting mad for me posting this...

Recommend

0 members like this

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sherilyn on September 14, 2010 at 12:08pm

You go ahead and vent........it's the healthy thing to do. And it's ok to be angry with your Uncle. My son has been gone almost 4 1/2 yrs. and I still get angry with him. Every time I look at his son, his wife, when I know what I go through, I get anygry with him. Then I cry....then I go out to the cemetery.....so YOU just be mad, and vent out here. We understand....

Permalink Reply by Becki on September 14, 2010 at 6:24pm

Hi Jessie, My name is Becki. I am so sorry for your loss. The feelings you have are real that you have to cope with. I found my 17 yr old son hung in his bedroom in Jan 2005, the first year I thought I was going to go crazy with the why's, the sadness, the madness, that what if's. Sleepless nights, sick to my stomach. You go through more emotions then you ever realize you had. It's been 5 yrs for me now. And although I have to say I know it's gotten better than the first year, it has not really gotten better as far as the sadness goes. I'm finally stopped asking what if and if only's....I went to a sucide survior classes at the Crises Center, they had one for parents, siblings and family. Plus I attended counseling sessions. That's what got me through. I go on walks for surviors of sucide victims once a year in memory of our love ones, in SF California, alot of people show up for that, one person in particular was a young man that jumped off the golden gate bridge and thank god survived his sucide attempt, so although there is many sad stories at this event, there are a few happy stories. I wish you luck, in your road to recovery seek what ever help you need because you will need someone to talk to about this.....

Permalink Reply by Mrs Shirley Hood on September 16, 2010 at 1:48pm

Hi: My name is Shirley, my heart and soul go out to you with prayer, I lost my brother to suicide four years ago, I had all the emotions you are experiencing, especially i remember feeling like i was going crazy, it is a awefull feeling, it is like all the other emotions you are experiencing , they are normal for you right now. Please try to understand, you are experiencing the worst tradgedy anyone can ever experience. It is very difficult for the people around you in your day to day life to ever fathom what you are going through, they never will understand, so , please please , try not to expect them to know what to say or do, you are in the right place, this group will definetly help you, i just joined, my first letter is to you hon, it breaks my heart to hear another person has to experience suicide. My mother always said through life when you are in sorrow, "Time is a friend of mine." I will pray for you and write often hon. Take care of yourself, and dont be hard on yourself, always treat yourself to something everyday, even if that things is reading a book four half an hour. you need that for yourself. talk to you later. All my love