My husband died almost 2 years ago on his birthday, he was 41.He left behind me, his daughter, and 2 young sons. I want to believe that if he had a chance to take it back, he would, knowning the unbearable pain it caused. Suicide has made us very sad, and lonely. I worry about my younger sons because they often blame themselves. Telling my husbands mother that her youngest son committed suicide was very hard, I'll never forget the look in her eyes, heart wrenching! I then had to tell my youngest son, age 17, who was then in the hospital.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your son Trish. Its wonderful that you want to reach out to others. I wish I could give you a hug. :] :] P.S. I wanna believe your son, and my husband wasn't thinking about family, and ended their lives on impulse.
Kathy Wasilla, Alaska
It doesn't get any easier. It's been 4 1/2 yrs. since my little girl, Kelly, died by suicide. 4 years since my son chose to also go that way. And 1 yr. since my other son, died, although he did not die by suicide, but rather an accidental drug overdose. But, I have my suspicions there.....Your right, I think it's a split second decision, that forever haunts us left to live through it. I don't think for one second they mean to hurt us this way. And if they could they would take it all back. But, that's just the thing, the split second decision, cannot be taken back if it is successful.....The pain only deepens with each year. Unlike an accident, that one comes in time to accept in a different way, or a disease, but each has it's pain to cross. Suicide is different, because there was no reason, no rhyme, it was just simply there. It's agonizing beyond words, beyond our reasoning...and it hurts. Hurts deep. My son seen how his sister's suiciden effected me, and yet he chose to turn around and do the exact same thing 5 months later. So, I wonder, if really there is anything we can do or say...other than NEVER tell a person that is threatening to die by suicide, to go ahead...thinking it will change their minds. You only give them permission to do so then. You feed what is bothering them, you add fuel to it. Especially our young.....My daughter was 17, my son was 30, and my other son was 22, just days short of his 23 birthday. It hurts. I cry, I cry and I cry. The tears never stop. The why's never stop....please if you are contemplating it, get help...talk to anyone....just sometimes a 3 minute talk can make all the difference...but only for that 3 minutes, then seek immediate counseling......please.