I am having a difficult time answering the questions. How did your daughter die? Did you know that she was going to do something like that? Why didn't you doing thing to stop her. You know, that she will not get into heaven because she killed herself don't you?


My daughter, my only child was my hero. She walked in the face of difficulties. She met her problems head on and just never gave up the struggle to live everyday to the fullest. She made that people around her smile and feel good, even when she was suffering.


Life just became to painful for her to continue, she just did not see an end to the suffering.


I am not ashamed that she took her life. I do not feel guilty. I was her rock in a world of suffering. I know that I did everything to help her.


But how does one anwers the questions?

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Anyone who asks painful questions needs to be told that they are causing pain, too many people have no clue that they shoot poison with their words. I TELL people that they are hurting me...I think everyone should. We are NOT guilty of anything. And we should not have to shoulder more than necessary just because we are survivors. Or just tell them to mind their own business....this pain is far too personal and intense....it is enough...
I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my sister last June, and have faced some of the same questions.  My mother, as well as my sister's husband have been selective who they have told the truth to about her death.  I know that someone who has never been through this, would never ask such questions.  It does not matter, it does not change the fact that your daughter is gone and you are suffering.  I also lost a brother-in-law within 36hours of my sisters death.  I am able to compare the two death experiences and I am sad that suicide causes such controversy.  Both of my relatives were loved very much, and at the end of the day, the grief is still grief.  And the person is still gone.  It makes me so sad that someone would ask such awful questions.  Tell them to mind their own business.  And to say that about heaven?!!  That person does not need to be judging other people.  Oh that makes me so mad.  I hope that you are finding strength at this site.  You sound like a strong person.  Stay away from mean people. 

Everyone of us on this sad website have gone thru the same issues - I love my daughter with all my heart - it has been 9 months and I still cry every day - yes, I feel guilty as a mother can possibly feel - I took care of all of her pain when she was growing up, I cared for her and loved her as an adult - and as much as I hate to think I couldn't control this, it was not my choice - it was my daughter's. She was a strong woman and I was very proud of her. About 3 weeks after she left,  I couldn't be consoled - I had constant memories over the years of my beautiful girl - then one night, I dreamed she came to see me. She had found out she had some curable illness, but it would be very hard on her to survive - endless treatments and so forth. She told me in the dream that it was her body and her decision and she had decided not to take any more treatments. She laid her head in my lap and I could feel her and smell her - I stroked her hair - and she drifted off - I know she was trying to tell me that there was nothing I could have done...I am still heart broken but understand. I will not answer any questions that I don't want to - and I never intend to.

Good morning!!!Psara

You don't have to answer any of those questions not until you are ready and then you may choose not to answer anything that is your choice.People can be so rude and evil sometimes.They don't understand how this has changed you forever people are always going to say what they should of could of done but the truth is we don't need to hear that i have found that  people may not know what to say sometimes they don't understand that we  need them for support.This is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with and some of the things people/family/friends say will shock you.I understand what you are dealing with but take time to take care of yourself if we could have changed anything about that day you know we would have and they should know that to... 

This is how I would answer, of course our children will get into heaven. No matter what the route they take. Even people who commit suicide get into heaven because life is continuous.

It's just common sense!

When our Beloved Children or for that matter, any person we love, no matter the age, commits

suicide, they are not running away from life but rather to a greater life, more life. Even a blade of grass or an insect fights to live and suicide is unbearably cruel, horrendous and an unthinkable

tragedy but still we must realize and make our own peace with the fact that once that person has made his/her decision we can't always intercede and change their fate!

 We are all leaving this place and if we live to be one hundred and twenty it will still go by in a heartbeat. The years just drift away. So while we are here on earth as survivors we must honor the memory of these brave souls that we will

always love and we have lost, lost only for a little while.

We honor their memory best when we live our life to the fullest just as though they were in the next room and we would see them very soon! Then we make them proud and they are at peace

knowing that we are not left here to suffer! They are released to move on in their new life until we meet again!

Please would you be so kind and visit the Memorial Page I created for My Beloved Son, Professor

Howard Eugene Langer {7-7-1966-12-28-2010} Thank you and God Bless Us All!

Shari Soklowhttp://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/howardsmemorialwebsites/homepage...



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