Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jodi on June 16, 2011 at 6:50am

Hello Carol,

I am so sorry for the loss of your son!  We lost our 17 year old son to suicide May 15, 2010.  13 months yesterday, and I can't say that it has gotten any better.  The loss will always be with us, and I'm praying someday that it won't be as stabbing.  I can't imagine you having to settle your son's estate while dealing with his loss!  I still can't concentrate, remember, etc. after a year.  I received a card from a friend right after we lost Garrett.  She had lost her son 2 1/2 years prior to that.  The card said something to the effect "as you find your new normal, whatever that is" regarding life.  It was so true.  Our lives have been changed forever and will never be "right or normal" again because one should never have to bury their child.  However, with the love of family and friends and the Grace of God, we are given the strength to face each day.  May God Bless you and give you strength!

 

Love, hugs and prayers

Jodi Smith

Permalink Reply by Karen King on June 18, 2011 at 5:18pm

My son took his own life on 30 Dec 2007.  He was 26.  He was fun and witty. He made me laugh.  I feel like music died.  Nothing makes sense anymore.  It has only been in the last month that I could go to the grocery store and not cry when when I saw a food that he liked and have to leave.  Yesterday I went to the Deli section for the first time since he left.  I stuttered and stammered my choices to the deli guy and felt dizzy.  I had to come home after that and curl up on the couch. I was physically and emotionally drained.  How do I get past this?  Will going to the deli every time I shop ease the struggle? 

 

As hard as dealing with your son's estate is, your are doing something for your son that he wants you to do.  My son's wife (who had left him) wouldn't let me do anything.  Legally, no one would let me do anything.  The funeral home wouldn't even let me pay for the funeral arrangements. 

Permalink Reply by Jacqueline Rowles on June 27, 2011 at 10:23am

Hi there Carol, my name is Jacqueline Rowles and I am 66 yr.  old and m y wonderful son Chuck committed suicide on Dec. 22, 2010. Not a day  goes by that I don't think  about him. This site is very helpful.  Everyyone is  so caring. I am trying to get into some sort of counciling thru my husbands work insurance.

I wish I had the words to take away everyones hurt and pain. I read someones comment on this site that they were worried that  their loved ones wouldn't make it into heaven. I was concerned about that also until I listened to John Hagee one Sunday morn. and he talked about if  a person was wicked like Hitler and committed suicide that he would go to hell but if a person was having mental and emotional problems and committed suicide that  he felt sure that God would welcome him with open arms to  Heaven. I love God with all my heart and  know that my Chuck is in heaven  with his earthly father and our Heavenly Father. Blessings to all.  Jacqueline Rowles

Permalink Reply by Jacqueline Rowles on June 27, 2011 at 10:23am

Hi there Carol, my name is Jacqueline Rowles and I am 66 yr.  old and m y wonderful son Chuck committed suicide on Dec. 22, 2010. Not a day  goes by that I don't think  about him. This site is very helpful.  Everyyone is  so caring. I am trying to get into some sort of counciling thru my husbands work insurance.

I wish I had the words to take away everyones hurt and pain. I read someones comment on this site that they were worried that  their loved ones wouldn't make it into heaven. I was concerned about that also until I listened to John Hagee one Sunday morn. and he talked about if  a person was wicked like Hitler and committed suicide that he would go to hell but if a person was having mental and emotional problems and committed suicide that  he felt sure that God would welcome him with open arms to  Heaven. I love God with all my heart and  know that my Chuck is in heaven  with his earthly father and our Heavenly Father. Blessings to all.  Jacqueline Rowles

Permalink Reply by Bunny on June 30, 2011 at 12:55am

It's been quite a while since I have been on this website. I pulled the plug about a year ago. But Carol your post came to my email so I decided I would respond. I lost my son July 2009. He was in the military and he had been "SUFFERING" for a couple of years from PTSD. I could only wish he could have gotten thru all the agony but I know how hard it was for him. I am not mad at him. I am just so sorry for him or anyone else who just cannot find the strength to make it another day. I had to find counseling to get thru this grief and believe me it has not been easy. For one not every counselor is going to be a good fit. I have been to 4 and then some. I needed to get my feelings out. I needed to be heard in an environment that would not judge or wound me anymore then I already was. As for my pulling the plug on the website I just found myself in more pain. What I will say is I didn't want to be alone. And It did help to know that I was not the only one who found this pain to be so unbearable. What I have found is whenever I think of my son its bittersweet. On one hand I loved him so much and he was such a wonderful happy loving person who I only wished could have grown old but on the other hand there will be no more new pictures, no more hugs and the trauma he had to endure. I am thankful for this website as at first it was all I had. I have since found other websites with many wonderful people who truely do have exceptional help. Even the cemetary or funeral home had resources they could refer me too. I want to attach something and hopefully it will come thru. I am truely sorry for each and everyone who has lost a loved one and must carry this pain. 

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