AS I POSTED YESTERDAY MY HUSBAND SHOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD 5 DAYS AGO,AND TWO DAYS AFTER I LEFT HIM,PLEASE PRAZY FOR HIS FAMILY,I TRULY FEEL SO MUCH GUILT,AND SADNESS,WONDERING,IF I'D HAVE STAYED JUST MAYBE HE WOULDN'T HAVE COMMITED SUCH A HORRIBLE ACT.I WILL FOREVER BE HAUNTED BY HIS LAST TEXT WHICH WAS TO ME SAYING "HE'D ALWAYS LOVE ME,AND WANTED ME HAPPY'IF HE WANTED ME HAPPY KILLING HIMSELF WASN'T THE WAY TO ACHEIVE THAT .PLEASE PRAY FOR ME,I ALMOST FEEL SELFISH TO ASK PRAYER FOR MYSELF,BUT I KNOW GOD KNOWS MY HEART,AND I NEVER WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN......
Baby, I know you're not going to hear this now. Sometime in the future you may remember, but you didn't pull that trigger. My husband also shot himself two years ago. He had problems that he couldn't handle. I'm still trying to deal with it, but I do know that I DIDN'T PULL THAT TRIGGER. Don't let anyone else convince you that you did anything wrong either. If you must, take life one hour at a time. Eventually, you can go up to a day at a time. Sometime in the future, maybe the anger and guilt wil subside, but its something we all have to work on a little at a time.
Dear Vicky May you feel God's loving arms around you, giving you comfort and strength during these difficult days. The grief and guilt you are experiencing will not easily disappear you may find that for a time your emotions will be somewhat unpredictable tears may flow without much advance warning be patient with yourself. The Bible assures us: “God is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18) Vicky only God can fully understand the role of mental sickness, extreme stress, even genetic defects, that contributed to your husbands’ suicide. Rather than blame and torment yourself, you may find comfort in the words of wise King Solomon: “The living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all.” (Ecclesiastes 9:5) He is not suffering; he is simply at rest. It might be best now to focus on yourself. I will pray for his family and you.