Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum


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Comment by Steve G. on December 23, 2020 at 6:37pm


I find myself reflecting on the past more often during the holidays.  This year is harder for me than ever.  I do not feel safe outside of our home, I have to go out to the doctor's office and even there I do not feel safe.  So the memories are flooding my conscience mind.  It has been 6 years since Mark passed, for me, I force myself to focus on the happy memories, it helps, it takes a lot out of me.  I also love to read, so this year I ordered a newt Sci-fi novel and that takes my imagination to all sorts of new places for hours.

I also watch a lot of the old Christmas movies (and yes I cry through these).  Watching them helps me remember the good memories and though I have seen some of these movies several times, I find something I forgot about or find something new.  All distractions are helpful, I even call or text friends and family; and yet sometimes late at night I just tear up and have a good cry.

Go easy on yourself, cry when you want to, let it out.

Thank you for sharing today, you have helped me remember that Legacy is the place where we get help and know without a doubt that we are not as alone as we think we are.

Keeping you in my prayers and sending all my love and hugs to you.  


Comment by deborah peck on December 23, 2020 at 1:41pm

Today has been very hard for me, since Greg passed the holidays have been the same as far as everypne still being together but this year will be so different with everyone staying home. So I find myself getting weepier the closer it gets, I ve tried to pretend its okay but I am at the end of my pretending ,I know a lot of you are feeling this way to so tell my what you do to get thru it, I am just feeling empty.

Comment by Marsha H on December 16, 2020 at 6:11am

Sara you have always been such a dear.  I find with this C-19 my brain has turned to mush and so many people here in Canada and where I live find they are low on energy and sleeping more.  I hope you and your family are doing well and of course I think of each and everyone on here and pray you are all kept healthy and safe.  So far I'm very lucky and do my best to wear the mask, etc.  Lots I am blessed with.  So glad I have my pets to keep me company.  As I said to Steve, I have my friends phoning me so at least I know there are still humans out there.  LOL

Keep safe and healthy Sara.

Big virtual hug back to you,


Comment by Marsha H on December 16, 2020 at 6:05am

Steve ...  How thoughtful of you to post during your own rough time and I so appreciate it.  I think of you and Chuck often and I have to admit the lockdown has gotten to me a little.  I still get out grocery shopping and walking the dogs, but really miss seeing my friends (even though we phone each other) and celebrating Christmas.  Also loved going to the Candlelight Service at the church, but all churches are closed here.  I get through each day knowing that others are far worse off than I am and I give myself a good slap on the cheek and get going again. 

I hope you are both feeling better and enjoy your Christmas together.   Hug Chuck for me! 

Much love


Comment by Sara Murphy on December 14, 2020 at 8:33pm

HI Marsha.....It's nice to hear from you.  I'm sorry you're having a hard time and am sending positive thoughts your way.   I'm also sending you a virtual hug

Love to you


Comment by Steve G. on December 14, 2020 at 7:00am

Thank you Marsha,

Sending hugs and love, beautiful song, perfect for today and the days ahead.

Stay safe and be well

All my love


Comment by Marsha H on December 14, 2020 at 4:12am

Hello my dear family ...  I haven't forgotten any of you and things are just a little rough for me at this time, but will soon get back to posting.  I wanted to leave this link 'A Christmas Prayer' by Neil Diamond (doesn't matter what religion you are)  that I hope gives you peace.  You see, each Christmas even though I may spend it alone I always have the tradition of my Christmas tree and decorated fireplace mantle as Ernie and I use too.  It gives me comfort.  I hope all of you are staying safe and hanging in there.

You know I love you all.


Comment by deborah peck on December 5, 2020 at 3:03pm

Praying for you both Chuck and Steve, hopefully he wont need any more surgeries for a long time, be safe and well

Comment by Chicago Beard on December 5, 2020 at 11:20am

Chuck and Steve

Very happy and gratified that the surgery went well. Now on to the healing and staying away from hospitals for a long long time!

Comment by Sara Murphy on December 4, 2020 at 9:15pm

HI Chuck & Steve....thinking of you both.  I'm sorry you needed surgery again Steve and praying for a speedy recovery.   

Love you both



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