Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7, 2022. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Steve G. on September 24, 2023 at 9:25am

Hey there Chicago Beard,

Congratulations to you and your new family. Moving is such a big step especially the older we get. Especially when an anniversary of loss is upon us. My loss of Mark will be the 9th year as of this November. I cannot fathom 13 years.

We moved from TX, a little over a year ago and we still have items in boxes here and there we need to go through. We adopted a house that is 123 yrs old and requires a lot of TLC. I enjoy a good challenge and this old girl is worth it. We have a lake view of lake Oneida and live in a small village named Constantia, NY. Love the seasons especially the winters.

For me, meeting Chuck was a life changing experience mixed with joy and sadness. We all seem to adapt to what life throws at us, as best as we can. If I have learned anything from my loss of Mark, it is that life will go on, we will meet new people, make new friends and even move to new places. All of this will happen when are ready for it and not a minute sooner. My love for Mark has not decreased and my memories of our life together are as clear today as when they occurred, This November will be 9 years since his death. I still have my down time where a song or a movie will trigger a memory and I will pause and reflect on it, although now I have my life with Chuck and that brings me back to the here and now.

Enjoy your new life in Texas my friend. Was so good to hear from you. Your posts always helped me as well as everyone else who posed.

Take care of yourself and each other,


Comment by Charles E. Nelson on September 24, 2023 at 8:52am
Hi Chicago Beard,
I'm glad you're with your new family in Houston and commiserate with the idea of digging yourselves out of boxes. I'm still doing that here over a year after our move, but I did bring an awful lot of stuff with me that probably I don't need - I just have trouble letting go of things that belonged to Larry and I, as well as family things from my parents. It is kind of fun though searching for something and finding a forgotten treasure.
Your new life doesn't supplant yours with Rose but rather is layered on top of it, both becoming the totality of you as you are now. I've been missing Larry much just lately and having many dreams about him. Last night we got separated in a crowded unfamiliar place and I was panicked trying to get back to the place we were last together hoping he would still be there. Quite a dream. I think the fact that my cousin recently lost her husband and I have been speaking with her about grief and what my experiences have been has stirred up some of these feelings, but I am not bothered or upset by them. They are familiar and a living part of me like Rose and the love you share is a living part of you.
It'd very good to hear from you, and I hope maybe others will post and let us know how they're doing. Be well, and for anyone observing Yom Kippur tonight "may your name be saved in the Book Of Life".
Love, Chuck
Comment by Chicago Beard on September 23, 2023 at 11:35pm

Hi Everyone

In three days it will be the 13th anniversary of my Rose's death. Even though my life has changed and I have a whole new family in Texas there is still not a day that goes by that I do not miss my Rose. The move went well and we are in the process of trying to dig ourselves out of boxes, lol. Hope everyone is doing well.

Comment by Marsha H on August 5, 2023 at 6:42am

Hi Trina ...

Hard to believe it's 9 years since Joseph passed.  It's been 12 years since Ernie passed away.  Just seems so surreal.  Sometimes it feels like it was not that long ago and other times it seems it's obviously been years.  I am finding now that my life is once again changing and sadly not for the better.  I only have a small immediate family and because things are so bad government wise in BC Canada my family decided to move to Calgary where housing prices are better; gas, etc.  So this is the first year all the visits to each other's homes; special occasions I'll be alone.  They wanted me to move to Calgary as well, but at my age now and little help and all the red tape selling my small rancher (the property is worth a fair bit) it's just too much for me to handle.  I have my good/bad times over it.  Of course as I age friends pass away or move far away and it can get lonely at times.  I just press on, but wondering what's next.  LOL

Hope things are going well for you.  



Comment by Marsha H on August 5, 2023 at 6:40am

DJ ...  you have a mind like a steel trap and it always surprises me you remember who's spouses passed away.

Hope this post finds you happy and well.



Comment by DJ on August 4, 2023 at 3:05pm

Trina: thinking of you - nine years since Joseph passed...

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on May 31, 2023 at 9:44am

Hi everyone,

Steve and I are fine here in central NY state, fixing up the house and finding doctors - that was more challenging than expected!

Chicago, good luck with the move - our move was exhausting so I hope you have help!!! It will be great to be near family - God bless. 

Todd, Glad you are doing well - think of you often - God bless.

Sara, I was thinking of you with every snowfall, and again with the marathon in the news - thank you for shaking the tree again, and stay well and happy - God bless.

Love to all - ChuckIMG_20221103_175053%20%281%29.jpg

Comment by Todd B. Goodrich on May 22, 2023 at 10:17am

Hi Sara and Chicago!

Great to hear from you both! I am doing well here in SoCal and hope and pray that both of you are as well. Good luck with the move Chicago!

Cheers to all of us here!


Comment by Chicago Beard on May 21, 2023 at 3:51pm

Hi Sara

Doing well, In the process of moving to Houston to be with grandkids. Thanks for checking in.

Comment by Sara Murphy on May 21, 2023 at 12:17pm

Hi Friends--I wanted to check in on everyone.  Hope you are all doing ok.


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