Gay and lesbians who have lost partners


Gay and lesbians who have lost partners

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Recent Loss

Started by Aaron R Gould. Last reply by John DiLorenzo Jr Aug 24. 2 Replies

On March 4th, 2021, my partner Kyle committed suicide, by shotgun to the head. I found him in his car, and have been feeling incredibly anxious and alone since then. He always struggled with mental…Continue

Lost my Partner of 5 years

Started by James James. Last reply by John Baluyut Apr 18. 3 Replies

Hello, My name is Jim.   Last month I lost my partner and best friend of 5 years unexpectedly.   The grief and sense of loss is so overwhelming,    In a single instance my life has been turned upside…Continue


Started by Tony Przybyla. Last reply by Kevin Dadouses Apr 18, 2020. 1 Reply

lost my partner of  42 yrs last may.  still hurts and this stay at home isolates even more. hard to move forward but am trying.  have been out of touch w/ gay community for last 15-20 yrs...due to…Continue

Looking for people who can understand my loss

Started by Amanda. Last reply by Amy Bartola Sep 3, 2019. 10 Replies

Hello, my name is Amanda. I lost my partner over 3 years ago. It was a sudden and unexpected loss. I'm still grieving and struggling with it. I came on here hoping to find people who could understand…Continue

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Comment by Michael Reikowsky on July 17, 2013 at 12:48pm
Thanks Sandy. I have to believe in a greater purpose. Otherwise nothing at all makes sense.

Besides... For the 15 years together.... We had a plan.... We experienced life, we travelled, we lived! We squeezed a lifetime of adventures into the time we were allowed together.

Maybe it's time to start telling our stories.... All of us. They need to be told. It's a changing world.

Have you heard that new song, "All-American Boy" by Steve Grand? He's a22-yr old singer from Chicago that wrote, performed, and made a music video of his song and threw caution to the wind and released it on YouTube on July 4th.... Went viral with over 1.4 million hits in the first week. Brave kid. And it's a great song with a great message. Seems like all of America is listening... Gay and straight.

Gives me hope for a future worth living. Just wish Danny was here to share it with me.
Comment by Paul Bowers on July 17, 2013 at 12:44pm

Hi Michael

I really understand your feelings and emotions at this point.  It is still very raw at times, and I think this is a loss no one truly "gets over".

We simply learn how to keep moving on without our partners.  They never leave our thoughts though, and that brings peace to me.  I dont know about you, but I have had several incidences where I feel I have felt Mikes presence so clearly.  Just the other day, I had a really amazing thing happen.  I was out in the back yard and getting ready to mow, and as I filled up the the mower up with gas, I was thinking how much Mike used to do yard work, while I would rather do other things.

I had just started the mower, when all of a sudden, a HUGE butterfly landed on my shoulder and continued to stay there for approximately 10 minutes while I continued to mow, and it never moved.  I turned my head to face the butterfly, told Mike I knew it was him, and that I loved him with all my heart.  With that, the butterfly flew away, but not before he circled my body several times.

Honor your loved one any way you can. They are here with us, and we will will meet again. Healing and prayers to you.

Comment by Sandy Smith on July 17, 2013 at 12:40pm
Hang in there Michael. I know God has a plan, but sometimes I wonder WHAT He's thinking! I feel your pain, your loss, and your emptiness. I have no earth shattering words to help....just to hang on....there has to be a reason we were left behind....something else we must do......
Comment by Michael Reikowsky on July 17, 2013 at 12:21pm
It's been eight mints sinc. Lost my Dnny to colon cancer. We had been together 15 years and I treasure very single minute we were together. Evn the pa two years while we battled the cancer... We never lost hope, never let it get s down, through all t chemo therapy sessions, the ventless surgeries, etc, we braved every day with a smile and shared an epic love.

Now tat he's gone... I realize just how easy it is to be strong FOR someone you love and us how small and alone you can be when they are gone.

I miss his mischievous smile, his kind words, his gentle soul, even his earth-shattering snores. There s not a single minute of every day that I do not miss him.

Life seems to have moved on for everyone but me.... I'm stuck in a loop of sorrow, loss and memories (god & bad). I'm tired of feeling like a victim and I know w are ALL on this earth for a finite time... If God has further pas fr me.... I'm ready to get busy!

I took the last year off work to care for Danny.... I'm ready to go back to work. I ave mad skills, a good résumé, but can't seem to find anyone anything to take a chance on a 53 year old gay widower.

So I ave too much free time on my ands, dwindling savings, and no career to throw myself into to help the healing process along.

I'm willing to work and work hard. I'm willing to grow and learn as tat was one of OUR credos... If we didn't learn something new each day, we were wasting our time.

I miss my partner, my baby, my one true soulmate and don't know what to do on my own.

Thanks for listening
Comment by Sandy Smith on July 17, 2013 at 11:34am
Thank you John! I think the best thing that came from this is I stopped hiding who I was (turns out everyone knew anyway....over 200 people at the funeral!). It's been awhile since she left me for the better life but I still miss her terribly. I deal most of the time, but the loneliness gets to me.....
Thank you for your kindness.
Comment by Sandy Smith on July 17, 2013 at 10:55am
Shane, I love the video!
Comment by Sandy Smith on July 17, 2013 at 10:42am
"Hi. I lost my partner of 28 years to a form of blood cancer. Sometimes I get lonely and just want to talk to someone who understands."
Comment by Christopher Ruggles on June 7, 2013 at 5:35pm

I have been a mess all week. There was a building sense of dread about today. Yesterday, Barry kept playing me songs about love and saying goodbye. It was his way of telling me that everything is fine. He approves of my new beau and it's time to focus on that. He was an amazing man and it hurts my heart that so many of you never got the chance to meet him. He left when he felt he was ready; even though I wasn't. Today marks two years. I hope each of you, at least once today, will turn to someone in your life and tell them you love them for being a part of your life. It's a small gesture, yet it fills the heart.

I've been sort of numb today. Not sure what that's about. I think I might finally have my closure. He's still here with me, watching over me and the boys. I will always love him. Now I have a new adventure to focus on. Someone who accepts this great big ball of crazy and wants to be a part of my life. I've always had more love in my heart than I could share. Sometimes it hurts not to be able to release it all. Now, I am able to share that love with someone new and my load is lessened.

Thank you to everyone who has been with me as part of this journey. Your presence is appreciated more than you will ever know. To those who chose not to be part of this, I understand.

Comment by Shane Clements on May 3, 2013 at 10:07pm

Comment by angel barnes on January 17, 2013 at 8:04am

my name is angel and last wen my partner carol lost her battel of cancer im hopping i can find some peace by joining this group we were togeather over 5 years and it all happend so fast that i still just dont no how to put it all togeather from sep she was sick and jan9 2013 shes gone ,,im lost and just dont no were to go or anything we were homless and stayed at a friends wile she was on hospice but now im going  back to r  camper in someones yard with no running water and it dont have gas for heat or water i do have a sm elic heater but its not going to b the same we had each other to get thew this now i have r 2 dogs and me ty for any kind word that may help


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