After my brother passed away, my friends seemed like they cared for about 3 months. Now, they avoid me and hardly have anything to do with me. I wanted to start a group for this because I have heard that it happens a lot. It is so hurtful when we are already mourning a loved one, and people that we need the most, abandon us in our darkest hour. Also this is a good place to vent about what you have experienced because we can just let it all out.
Latest Conversations: Sep 17, 2019
Started by Freda Hancock. Last reply by Diamond Jun 29, 2017. 10 Replies 1 Like
There are several reasons why friends fade in the background after a while. Some don't know what to say, or do and they feel lost. Their hope often is the fear of saying the wrong thing, so the…Continue
Death is not natural and for the most part, people still do not know how to cope with the lost of a loved one be it their relative or friend. However, a true friend will not change they will walk with you through all of your pain and suffering. There is no quick fix except the promise given in Revelation 21:3,4.
i dnt wnt slf pity id rathr hav evry 1 still hear yea uv gin off raills u cud say drimkk smok smok weead bt it still dnt kill pame of loss u cud say]
i feal is if im bean pusnd u cud say i pt evry 1 1st slf lst u cud say
thn 2 mush los
pepl crosin st 2 avoid me or evn us u cud say
or we gt tld get f ovr e do u vnt gt ovr it evn dr tld me i mit nvr get ovr he did or hit cut tak yrs hid had loss he nvr gt ovr it he did nt
iv hd so musj sp mush funrlls in lst 2 to 3 to 4 yrs im nt rht ij hed u cid say im dmgd coz of ; los i gt told it gts esyy it dnt get easyy it seams 2 get wrse e day e wk w evry hr evr mint evry sec
sorry if im ramlin rantn 2 mush satadays do it 2 me ciz my dad died on a sat
My friend shared with me a video on Empathy, and as I read some of these shared stories, I cant help but think about that video. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw)
The difference between being empathetic and thinking you are helping is simple. The grand "well at least you" start, is a prime example of people who are not emotionally touched by your situation, or who are but don't know how to show it. When you run across these people, it's best to let them know they can stop with their statement before continuing. Also, tell them that nothing they are saying is a help, rather, its offensive, and tell them why. Trust me, you will feel better.
Those who are empathetic may not know what to say, but through actions they will show you that they emotionally feel some varying of pain. These are strong people, because it takes vulnerability to show emotions outwardly to people sometimes. But nevertheless, they will offer you a long warm hug, they will cry with you, and they will stand by you (sometimes silently) to comfort you.
I've experienced both type of people, and I strive everyday to be the empathetic person, because they are gems in these "critical times, hard to deal with." - 2 Tim. 3: 1-7
I can almost promise you all that you won't run into any empathetic people before you go through the masses of ignorant people. You may have found that even some of you were not as equipped to deal with a grieving person as you are now that you have went through the struggle. Either way, those few gems you run across, hold on to them and be the good friend they deserve. Don't use up all of their resources, and then can't be there for them cause "something came up" (And that something can be a VERY important something) however, we never want to take for granted OUR loved ones, whether they are still with us or if they have passed on.
I hope everyone on this blog are working on becoming that precious gem to someone else! Have a better day everyone!
thnx mj still got loss non stopp
Hi Dream Moon,
I'm sorry that you are going through so much pain. It is not your fault. The Bible promises that there is hope. Read Isaiah 26:19:
Your dead will live.
My corpses will rise up.
Awake and shout joyfully,
You residents in the dust!
For your dew is as the dew of the morning,
And the earth will let those powerless in death come to life.
Keep your hope alive- you will get to see your dad again when he resurrects.
Several months on I am coping with life.I have emerged with fewer friends but good ones,"good" in the true sense of the word.The ones that stuck by me had been through the same thing as me,this did not occur to me till later.As for the rest ...well they will learn.I do not forgive them because their is nothing to forgive because in a way they are like children.
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