I lost my mother in law last week.  I miss her so much and am riddled with grief and guilt.   She and I had our differences.  I hadn't seen her in over a year because of distance and we had some items to work through (at least I did).  But shamefully, I also tried to cut my child out of her life.  She hadn't seen her only grandchild in person in almost a year before she passed suddenly.  It was n…