Alexandra, you are landing on your feet because you are on your way to finding peace. Crying is good. It is said that it releases the negative toxins when we are grieving. However, you have had so many losses. It saddens me to hear how so many people have lost so many people in their lives in so short a period of time. That is what makes it so much more difficult. You can't get back on your feet from one, then you have another one. I suggested this to someone else...maybe you would benefit from a grief/coping support group where you are face to face with people who are going through the same thing you are and you can openly talk to people, along with writing here. When people have many losses like yourself, these groups really are a benefit. You may want to seek one out in your area. You will make it. You just really need to talk about them and to them even. I always talk to my dad and brother, and others I have lost. It just is a comfort. Maybe make a collage of happy pictures of them. Watch funny movies. Also, have your tried some regular exercise program? Yoga is a good one. It helps with balancing your mind/body/spirit. It sounds like when you are busy you are ok. It is when you get home and you break down. Finding activities to do help keep your mind going and moving on. Also, keeping a journal to write you feelings, fears, etc., on, is also very helpful. You will get over this and move on. It just doesn't seem like it now. Take a second at a time, a minute at a time, etc., and accept the losses and try to find what you can learn from each loss to help you grow. In the meantime, write whenever you need. I wish you peace.

Alexandra,
Wow. God bless you. You have a lot on your plate, but you can move on. I really would like to hear your stories. I hope you are able to talk about your siblings and have happy memories of them to help with your healing process. Feel free to write any time. I am trying to get a chat room or something going here so we can all talk together. Working on how to do that. Not the greatest with computers, but learning. Look forward to talking with you.

Alexandra,I didn't take your expressions as being cruel. Being in limbo is there because you have lived all your life with your sister now you must readjust to life without her as time passes you will slowly readjust to life without your sister however you will always love and miss her, life although enjoyable will never be quiet the same without her. Don't try to feel anything right now let your grief take place to help heal your deep pain. Alexandra You may find that for a time your emotions will be somewhat unpredictable tears may flow without much advance warning be patient with yourself. The Bible assures us: “God is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18)