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CANT GO ON

Posted on February 9, 2012 at 5:37pm 3 Comments 0 Likes

I DONT THINK I CAN DO THIS ANYMORE.....IT HAS BEEN ALMOST 6MONTHS AND EVERYBODY IN MY LIFE ACT LIKE I SHOULD BE THRU THIS AND MOVING FORWARD. MY HUSBAND COMMITTED SUICIDE HOW DO YOU MOVE FORWARD FROM THAT. I THAUGHT I WAS DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT BY GOING TO THERAPY EVERY WEEK, I STILL WORK AND TAKE CARE OF MY HOUSE AND KIDS AND MY DAD BECAUSE MY MOTHER ALSO PASSED AWAY LAST YEAR AND HE REFUSES TO LIVE IN THERE HOME. I JUST CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE THE PRESSURE, I JUST WANT TO BE WITH MY…

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My Husbands Birthday

Posted on January 3, 2012 at 4:43pm 1 Comment 0 Likes

Today would have been my husbands 33th birthday, I miss him so much he passed away on Sept 26, 2011 Due to suicide. We have made it thru the holidays but today seem harder than any day or holiday. Our kids miss you so much, You would be so proud of your boy dylan i took our kids to the snow on new years, Dylan wanted to ride your board so bad so i told him it would be ok, he did so go he was able to keep his balance and stay up on it all the way down the hill he just doesnt know how to stop.…

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MY HUSBAND SUICIDE

Posted on October 27, 2011 at 1:28pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

IT HAS NOW BEEN 1 MONTH AND 1 DAY SINCE MY HUSBAND DIED DUE TO HANGING HIMSELF IN OUR BEDROOM. HE DID THIS ON 08/24/2011 AND I GOT TO COME HOME TO FIND HIM I CUT HIM DOWN AND STARTED CPR IMMEDIATLY AS MY CHILDREN WATCHED I BRAUGHT HIM BACK BUT I REALIZED 4 WEEKS LATER IT WAS TO LATE AND HE WOULD NEVER COME BACK TO US TO MUCH BRAIN DAMAGE, I THEN TOOK HIM OFF LIFE SUPPORT AND HE PASSED ON 09/26/2011 3 DAYS BEFORE OUR 4TH ANNIVERSARY, WE HAVE TWO CHILDREN AGES ALMOST 4 OUR DAUGHTER AND OUR 12YR… Continue

Good Afternoon to everyone that might be going thru a hard time right now. This is very difficult for me im 35yrs old woman with two children a 12yr old son and a 3yr old daughter and my husband of 4…

Posted on October 10, 2011 at 5:11pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

Good Afternoon to everyone that might be going thru a hard time right now. This is very difficult for me im 35yrs old woman with two children a 12yr old son and a 3yr old daughter and my husband of 4yrs commited suicide on 08/24/2011. I found him in our home and I kept him alive for 5weeks when I knew he wasnt coming back and there was nothing else I could do, I took him off life support and he passed away on 09/26/2011 3 days before our 4th anniversary. I miss him so much and wished we…

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At 12:48pm on February 17, 2012, Crystal said…: Hi Amanda, my name is Crystal, I lost my brother to suicide on January 27,2012. In my family birth order we have an older sister, me, him & 2 brothers follow. During the time of funeral arraignments our older sister was of no help but added stress, being an alcoholic. I took on the responsibilities along with my youngest brother by my side. My mother placed the dreaded thoughts in my head that if I would have gone to see my brother he wouldn't have commited suicide, if "I" would have called him. The thing is we had talked recently & he was doing well. I couldn't go visit cuz financial I couldn't. While I was trying to take care of things for his funeral I was bombarded with questions, I felt so much pressure I almost had a nervous breakdown. I started to believe I could have saved him, that if I would have done more. truth is I did as much as I could when I finally confronted my mY mother on what thoughts she placed in my mind and how it was unfair of her to do that, she denied it . It has been difficult for me. No matter the kind comforting words that come my way from others. I breakdown crying at home. My brother took care of our mother financially way beyond what he should have. , he gave her everything and he had nothing. It angers me because she has someone in her life he is just a leach. Now my brother is gone & she is looking to us for financial support while the boyfriend is still in her home causing undue stress. Amanda I'm sorry you feel like giving up & I know you have pain but you have to live for your kids. Death brings unexpected change to our family responsibilities I hope & pray you find or get support from other family members do the best you can but you still need to find time for yourself. Your kids need you more than anyone

At 6:21pm on February 4, 2012, Sean Owens said…: Hi Amanda,How are you? Are you back from Ca. yet? Where do you live now? Nevada?You sent me the mess. about going to California,but that is all I know. I would Like to know more about what is going on with you and your Family.Please take care,Sean

At 4:15pm on January 30, 2012, Sean Owens said…: Dear Amanda, I hope you are hanging in there as well as you can.My heart aches for you and everyone else that is in despair and greif.It seems like it never lets up.I wake up thinking of my sister,and go to bed crying,thinking of her.Death is a very difficult thing to process,let alone suicide.As I had told you,my Sister shot herself,leaving her three children behind.I can't even imagine their heartbreak.I don't know about you,but I just can't seem to get my life back on track.I told you that when Holly died my Mother went crazy and had an emergency intervention on me.After I refused to go to this facility,she and this woman counselor told me to get out of the house my Mother bought for me.So,dealing with Holly's death was compounded with being homeless.I had 1 week and absolutely no money,and had to find somewhere for me and my 3 pets to go.Never in a thousand years could I have seen any of this coming.Sometimes I am so angry with God and this World.I don't know how a person can tell a complete stranger that they need to get out of their house.My Mother 2 weeks later,was living in the house herself.She threw me out so she could get out of the house she was in.There were apparently too many memories of Holly in her house.

At 8:12pm on January 19, 2012, Sean Owens said…: Dear Amanda, I hope you are doing well today,as well as can be expected. I think right now, all I can ask for are brief repreives of thinking about something else other than my loss. I am certain that your Mother and late Husband are looking down on you with such Love and Pride.I commend you on your strength.I too,like you had mentioned am feeling that feeling of impending doom and giving up.That feeling as you know,does go away.Thinking of you and wishing you the best,Sean

At 10:33pm on January 4, 2012, Steven DeFranceschi said…: I am so sorry for your loss and you and your children finding him like that. It hurts for you but it must really hurt for the kids. You need to be strong for them. Contact me anytime.

At 12:47pm on November 8, 2011, Shea said…: My heart hurts for you and your children I understand the madness and confusion you feel. My brother was one of my best friends we worked at the same company together rode to work together I am sorry for your loss. I am trying to get my sister who was the one who found him and started cpr on him to join I think it would do her some good and maybe with yalls story so similar you to can help each other. You keep me posted on your progress I will keep you posted on mine If you need a ear I am here I know how you are feeling.. Keep your head up you have two babies that need you..