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  • Lawrence, Massachusetts
  • United States
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At 4:18pm on July 15, 2011, pamela silver said…
hi arlene..its been so long since i went on are you? im ok getting better but theres still a real deep wound+i miss wayne still to this day every single day i still cry a few times throughout the week and i still go to the grave a few times a week not like before but im still not happy( per say)...i guess i just realized im just not the same me as i was before wayne was gone+im friendless i cut off my few good friends and now cant and or dont want to have any friends which i think is wearing on me i think im becoming kinda a miserable not so happy person...ya whats going on with you? hope to hear from you but if not its ok...bye
At 6:27pm on December 30, 2010, Susan Mayer said…

Hi Arlene - Haven't heard from you in a while, and I hope you're okay and getting through the holidays.  It's been a tough time, and winter doesn't make it easier.  Did you get socked by that Christmas storm?  I'm not sure where in Massachusetts Lawrence is exactly.  I flew to DC to see my granddaughter; the DC area got only lightly brushed by the storm, so I wasn't affected.


Let me know how you're doing - too much silence makes me worried.  Hugs - Susan

At 10:14pm on December 1, 2010, Susan Mayer said…
Hi Arlene - Just checking in to see how you're doing as you come up to 6-months since your husband died. It'll be 3 months for me on Sunday, and the holidays being here certainly have made it harder to stay afloat emotionally. I'm reading a book on sudden death, "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" and finding it helpful; do you know it? Some of the advice is general to grief and loss, but some is specific to sudden death. I hope you're hanging in there. Take care of yourself.

At 10:05pm on November 21, 2010, Susan Mayer said…
Hi Arlene,

Thanks so much for your note. It comes at a good time; I'm having a very bad day, and you lifted me a bit. Not sure what set off this latest wave of hard grief, maybe winterizing the house and yard and, today, pulling out the vegetable garden for the season. Steve loved the garden and was so proud of showing it off. It tears me apart to think we'll never plant another spring garden together.

Tonight, I just feel afraid - and I'm not sure of what exactly. Maybe the even deeper despair and sorrow I sense I have yet to deal with? There seems to be so much to worry about, and I know you're worried, too. I hope the Congress and president act to extend unemployment. So many people are still without work; it's just not right not to help people when they're jobless through no fault of their own. And the money worries on top of the's just too much. I feel fortunate to have work, but it's a contract, so it's time-limited. I hope you find a job soon. I have a friend who looked for a couple of years, had really about given up, and she recently found one - and she really likes it. She credits my husband with telling her not to give up. I guess he was right. What kind of work do you do?

I'll be going to a neighbor's for Thanksgiving; my husband and I had been part of their celebration for years. The day after, some cousins (by marriage) are having a get-together. I guess it will be okay, but I don't expect to feel particularly celebratory. I'll be glad when the holidays are over, frankly, and maybe you will, too.

Thanks again for you note and for your prayers. I'm not a very religious person - sometimes I wish I were; I think it would help - but I do appreciate prayers and good thoughts from friends. It helps to feel not alone. I'll be thinking about you over the holiday and hoping we both make it through as well as we can.

Take good care of yourself.

At 8:09pm on November 11, 2010, Susan Mayer said…
Hi Arlene,

How are you doing today? I'm having a tough day, anticipating what would have been Steve's 70th birthday coming up on Saturday. I so wanted to throw him a party. Steve did look young for his age - I used to kid him, told him it came from having a younger wife (I'm 9 years his junior).

I am a consultant who mostly works from home, and yes, being home alone all day sucks big time. When the client I work for (a government agency) asked how they could help, I asked them to find me office space I could go to, at least a day or two a week so I didn't climb the walls. They did find me a cubicle in the regional office; that helps some.

Thanks for your notes, thoughts, and prayers. I believe we'll get through this, and I'm glad we're friends. Take care of yourself.
At 11:51pm on November 9, 2010, keith leon mooney said…
Thank you for your prayers and Im happy you are finding it good to talk and listen to others in your bereavenent group who are in same situation,they are the only ones who really do understand.God Bless and take care. Keith
At 11:51pm on November 9, 2010, keith leon mooney said…
Thank you for your prayers and Im happy you are finding it good to talk and listen to others in your bereavenent group who are in same situation,they are the only ones who really do understand.God Bless and take care. Keith
At 7:54pm on November 5, 2010, Susan Mayer said…
Arlene, I lost my husband suddenly, too. In Steve's case, it was an accident: he was struck by a car while riding his bicycle. That was Sept. 5, 2010, just two months ago today. What would have been his 70th birthday is a week from tomorrow - that day will be difficult, but my stepdaughter is coming for the weekend. Otherwise, I'm riding the emotional roller-coaster I imagine you know only too well. I am sorry for your loss and just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in losing your husband suddenly. Hugs, Susan
At 3:00pm on November 4, 2010, keith leon mooney said…
Hi Arlene,I relate Im so sorry for your loss and I and many others like you are trying to cope with the process of what might be the greatest challenge we will ever have to experience. I have no words of wisdom or answers that might help you or me on the journey we must fulfill just remember God loves you and some way he promises to help us through this,I will say prayers for you and everyone on this sight for I see no other hope in such help arriving anytime soon through mortal beings.God Bless You and may all our prayers be answered for we are left with this great job of finding our own peace with what we have left. I am struggling each day to try and find my way to where the world might let me on again without my Dear Wife Donna. It seem very difficult to imagine any type of happiness like I once had,I do know it is good to grieve for the Lord then knows what kind of relationship you really had and can help us to return to some sort of happiness.Pray for me and I wiil for you.Keith
At 1:41pm on October 7, 2010, Sharon said…
It's all so very hard isn't it...

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