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lonely and sad

Posted on November 25, 2010 at 10:41am 0 Comments 0 Likes

3 months has passed since I lost you, I have had to go through our anniversary, your birthday, and now Thanksgiving without you -- I miss you and cannot stop thinking about you. I am here with the boys but it will not be the same, we all have a hole in our heart.

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At 10:05am on January 13, 2011, Christy said…: Dear Barb,

God bless you and your family. I know your son & daughter in law are devasted. Prior to my Larry passing, we had a co-worker who's wife tried repeatedly to carry her babies full term, but it never happened. We didn't know how to respond & so basically we said we were sorry and ignored the subject. Now I see this with new, more understanding eyes. I understand that to lose that baby is to lose all the potential that baby held for them as a family. My heart goes out to your entire family as you mourn this loss. God Bless you all.

At 6:34am on January 12, 2011, Marlena said…: Barb,

I am so sorry that you have suffered too many losses.

I feel we have very similar stories...I am not sure how your husband died, mine died unexpectedly and left behind our 13 year old son..who absolutely adored his dad, and our daughters were 22 and 24 at the time. My middle daughter also told me 3 months after her Dad passed that we were going to be grandparents. I considered this baby "our bittersweet bright spot of hope", something to hang on to, a part of Tom, and something positive to look forward to. A couple of weeks later she also lost her baby and it felt like such a punch in the stomach. She has since had a beautiful baby girl and she brings such joy to our lives. Sorry to ramble and I don't mean to make this all about me, but I was amazed to read our similarities.

It seems that when someone suffers one great loss, more are to follow. I don't understand that. It's hard enough to try to cope with one without being bombarded from all angles.

Please know I am thinking of you and your family. I pray that you are able to find some peace and comfort as you go through yet another loss. My heart breaks for you.

At 6:34am on January 12, 2011, Marlena said…: Barb,

I am so sorry that you have suffered too many losses.

I feel we have very similar stories...I am not sure how your husband died, mine died unexpectedly and left behind our 13 year old son..who absolutely adored his dad, and our daughters were 22 and 24 at the time. My middle daughter also told me 3 months after her Dad passed that we were going to be grandparents. I considered this baby "our bittersweet bright spot of hope", something to hang on to, a part of Tom, and something positive to look forward to. A couple of weeks later she also lost her baby and it felt like such a punch in the stomach. She has since had a beautiful baby girl and she brings such joy to our lives. Sorry to ramble and I don't mean to make this all about me, but I was amazed to read our similarities.

It seems that when someone suffers one great loss, more are to follow. I don't understand that. It's hard enough to try to cope with one without being bombarded from all angles.

Please know I am thinking of you and your family. I pray that you are able to find some peace and comfort as you go through yet another loss. My heart breaks for you.

At 4:08pm on December 10, 2010, Carol Kayser said…: Dear Barb, I am writing from Canada but you and I have parallel experience. I lost my beloved husband Jack 3 months ago too, from cancer and diabetes. 2 weeks after he passed away my youngest daughter announced she was expecting. She would have conceived right around his birthday, which was Sept. 15th. Now the thing is my husband had predicted this, telling me at least twice there "would be the "pitter patter of little feet" soon and that I couldn't go with him because I had work to do with the grandchildren. As a family we believe that this baby is a gift from my husband to ease our pain. We are so looking forward to seeing part of him in this child. I know though that I feel bittersweet also but I do believe that

hubby is smiling and happy at this news and I am sure yours is too! The pure joy of watching my daughter be so happy really helps too.

Peace be with you Barb,

Carol

At 5:08am on September 19, 2010, Deborah Kelly said…: Hi Barb,
I am so sorry for you lose. I lost my husband 8/1. this is such a hard time and then to be faced with what yu are going through it is just not fair. I have no children of my own hopefully you can find strength in your children. It make me mad to hear story after story about people having to fight with the goverment or all of the people that are loosing their homes because of the death of a spouse. This is the one time in a persons life that you would think good, everday people could find help.

At 6:44am on August 21, 2010, TINA GREER said…: Hi Barb. I am so sorry you are losing your house. My husband had been on workmans comp disability since 1993, and I have been on disability for 2 years now. I have a lot of health problems... very bad back, lots of nerve damage, arthritis, fibromyalgia..etc. There is no way I can now go back to work. Our house payment is low, but it is the bills that are killing me.. not to mention all the work the house needs. I have contacted the mortgage company many times to see what they can do to help. I don't know how the laws are in your state - I live in Ohio - but, here is what they told me. There are several options. You can call them and see if they can modify your loan and lower your payment. Short sale: You have to list the property with a Realtor. They will check the house, see what they say it is worth, then contact the mortgage company if they get an offer, even if it is less than it is worth, and see if they will accept it or now. There is also a deed-in-lieu, where you deed the house back to them for what you owe. Not sure how that works. I would suggest that you call and talk to them about it. I am completely ready to walk away and let it go into foreclosure if that is what I have to do. In fact, I am moving in the next week or so. You may also want to check into filing bankruptcy. In Ohio it cost $1,000. You may be able to get rid of a lot of debt by doing this.

These are just some suggestions, things I have found out recently. I hope they help some. It is such a hard time for us, having to deal with the death of our spouse, then trying to pick up the pieces of our lives, and deal with things like this. People have told me not to make any major decisions for a while, but as my husband used to say... 'you gotta do what you gotta do'... Good luck. I hope you find peace in whatever you decide. Please keep in touch and let me know how things are going, or if you just need to vent, I am here. I will keep me in my thoughts and prayers.
Tina