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On February 4th 2010 my husband came home from a work trip and by nighttime was complaining of his side hurting. To make a long story short on February 11th we got a death sentance. Perhaps two months, the good doctor said. That's what it was, two months. Terry passed away on April 17th with myself, our four children and his parents by his side. He was 42 years old. My little kids held on to their Daddy as he left us. Our lives are shattered. We lost a husband, father, best friend and soul mate. My husband was the only person in this world that truly knew me and understood me. He finished my sentences as I often went "duh" :) Now I feel alone , loneley and even abandoned. I know he didn't want to go and he fought a brave and hard battle. But I guess God needed him more , although I don't understand why.
We lived in a small, remote island community in the Arctic before all this happened. We were forced to move 2000 miles away from our home,community and friends. We now find ourselves living alone in a small apartment in a place that we hated,where we never wanted to be. We are not even in the right climate zone. My kids found themselves in a big, strange city with different rules and a different way of life.
I hope that somehow I will find a way to go on because right now everything looks so dark and there is no light at the end.

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At 10:37am on April 24, 2011, Kathy King Kates said…: I was skimming thru pages and realized you just had your 1 year angelversary. I do hope you "survived it" okay and maybe even did something special for you and your children to get thru the day. I hope you are doing well and life is moving forward for you. Hugs

At 7:28pm on December 15, 2010, Hurting said…: Basia Hi, feels like I have been counting ever since that day and haven't stopped. I sometimes wish that this pain would go away.

At 11:13am on December 4, 2010, Hurting said…: Hi Basia, I hope you are doing okay.

At 4:08pm on September 16, 2010, Fernandohulya said…: Basia, it is good to talk to you and no you do not rumble on. My son Lee is not grieving at all and is like your daughter walking out of the room or shutting down that makes me so worried but I guess that sooner or later he will grieve for his Fernando. Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming he is here but only not near me and our lives are divided by a great big wall. Lee is so heartbroken that his Dad is not here because I guess he was his protector and his rock and me,well.... My daughter Lora is more talking about her Dad sometimes with me now and she is so angry just like me that makes me a little sad that she is watches me with my anger against the Dr. I feel so lost without him still and every decision I make seems so wrong and not what Fernando would do. Lora's birthday was difficult although we had a party, which went well till the last minute where gate crashers came and stole her phone with all the other people and had to call the police. Life really sucks without my Baby!

with lots of hugs to all
Hulya

At 3:35pm on August 24, 2010, Fernandohulya said…: tomorrow it will be 6 month, I just do not believe it. Want him back!

At 4:07pm on August 20, 2010, Fernandohulya said…: Basia, I have applied for permant places in some of the charities to work and hopefully i will get a place. Love the pics of all you sitting together.

At 11:00am on August 15, 2010, Fernandohulya said…: Good to hear from you back, the kids doing ok but I think my boy is starts struggling with his anger a little. My daughter is more the busy bee and tries to live for my husband when he was young, bless her. Daddy's girl is Lora nearly 16, ten days before FERNANDO'S birthday and Lee is 12. How are you kids doing.

Basia, I feel the same that time supposed to be a healer but I guess it is not our time then. My mum said that the children is a part Fernando and he would not want them to suffer but I do... I am not sure of anything and confused.

It is good get away and empty the head to clear your thoughts. Nice you back))))))

At 11:00am on August 15, 2010, Fernandohulya said…: Good to hear from you back, the kids doing ok but I think my boy is starts struggling with his anger a little. My daughter is more the busy bee and tries to live for my husband when he was young, bless her. Daddy's girl is Lora nearly 16, ten days before FERNANDO'S birthday and Lee is 12. How are you kids doing.

Basia, I feel the same that time supposed to be a healer but I guess it is not our time then. My mum said that the children is a part Fernando and he would not want them to suffer but I do... I am not sure of anything and confused.

It is good get away and empty the head to clear your thoughts. Nice you back))))))

At 3:11pm on August 4, 2010, Fernandohulya said…: BASIA, JUST LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU.

with lots of hugs ;)

At 7:08am on July 21, 2010, Fernandohulya said…: Basia, I am not hearing from you. Just want to know how your are progressin and would love to hear from you. How are the children coping and I know that asking how are you is a stupid question but I like to hear from you.

with lots of hugs