Many of us try to apply logic and calculations to virtually every circumstance that we face in life. As if there is some “score” that if achieved will result in our circumstance being acceptable or unacceptable. When dealing with an impending death we might have kept this odd accounting as well.
If our precious loved one had a full and complete life both in years and in quality we may reconcile that our grief should be less painful. We may have added into this equation that they suffered from pain and sickness and that upon death they will be relieved of the burden of a failing body. Accumulating favorable facts we think will lessen our pain.
Others may feel as though they got “less than a fair deal” as the length in time and a list of “circumstances” has planted a secret seed of regret and missed opportunities. If focused upon, a person whole life can be characterized or painted with dark thoughts, bitterness and guilt. While the color of paint may be different in both characterizations, it is still paint shrouding what lies underneath. Beneath the paint is one of life’s greatest truths and hidden treasures.
When death occurs we realize the accounting method was just our weird way of occupying our “logical minds”. And the paint job was a way of avoiding the unknown regions of our emotions that we were apprehensive to explore. All of this is understandable as we have never been in these uncharted waters before.